To Protect Them All
by Zephyras
Summary: After living on the streets, Lily Evans thought surviving her seventh and final year at Hogwarts would be a cinch. Voldemort, Death Eaters, and James Potter proved her wrong. AU, pre-Lily/James. Violence, gore, etc. REVISED. SEQUEL IS OUT!
1. Welcome To My Life

Chapter One-

_Lily's P.O.V_

_June 8__th__ (the end of Sixth Year)_

Lily Evans walked quietly off the train, her demeanor contrasting greatly to the constant chatter of her peers. She slipped through the barrier after putting a charm on her trunk to make it weightless. Quickly walking down the street, she entered a nearby restaurant. She changed into her 'street clothes': jean capris and a tank top, exposing several scars. She tied her shoulder length, bright red hair into a tight bun, slipped on her steel toed boots, and took out a very long black wand that was definitely not bought in Diagon Alley. She pulled a large belt, two daggers, and a very light, dangerous looking sword out of a separate compartment in her bag. She stuck one of the daggers in her belt and the other in a sheath tied around her upper arm. She cast a Concealment Charm on the sword, and also placed it in her belt with her wand. After pulling on a very lose black sweatshirt, she exited the restaurant just in time to see James Potter and Sirius Black stroll though the barrier with Potter's parents.

Lily grimaced, _"Bugger! I hope they don't see me…"_

She edged closer to the wall of the restaurant. If Potter saw her, he would find someway to use her attire against her.

"_Probably more rumors," _she thought.

Not that she cared what people said about her, but if people paid too much attention to her they might notice something odd.

"_Not that they already don't," _she thought sadly.

It was a well known fact that she and James Potter were not exactly best mates. Ever since first year, they were constantly at odds with each other in practically everything. James Potter was popular and had many friends, but he mostly hung out with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Lily; however, had isolated herself from most social interactions. She wasn't that bad-looking and she worked very well with the other prefects, but she made no attempt to make friends. Anyone brave enough to try to make friends with her was politely asked to leave her alone. She spent most of her time in the Hogwarts Library because it was impossible to get any work done in the Common Room if you lived in the same House as James Potter and Sirius Black.

The reason James Potter hated her so much was because she seemed to be perfect at _everything_: Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, Defense Again the Dark Arts, you name it, even flying. When he pranked her, she would simply reverse the prank and make some comment about his maturity level. In fact, nothing seemed to faze Lily Evans. She never seemed to get mad, only annoyed, she never looked sad, happy, or frustrated. She seemed to be completely emotionless. The key word was 'seemed'. For some reason, Potter's other friends didn't hate Lily as much as he did, but they disliked her very much.

Lily didn't make any friends because if they found out about her life outside of Hogwarts, they would get scared and tell someone. She would then be sent to an orphanage. She didn't make friends because they wouldn't understand what it was like to be Lily Evans. She didn't deserve friends because she was a murderer, a thief, a street rat, a m-

"_No, don't think about that now," _she berated herself, _"concentrate on getting away." _She saw Mr. Potter pull out his wand and summon the Knight Bus.

"_Please just go away!" _she thought.

Suddenly, she could feel a pair of eyes on her. She whipped her head in the opposite direction as if looking for someone. Then, the Knight Bus disappeared as it wheeled around the corner.

"_Shit. He saw me." _

James' P.O.V

James walked through the barrier with Sirius and his parents.

"_Finally,"_ he thought, _"three whole months without that cow Evans to mess everything up." _

"I can't wait to get home," he told Sirius, "I'm starving."

"Me too!" Sirius grinned , "Your mum's cooking is really good."

"Come on boys, we're going to take the Knight Bus home," Edward Potter called to them. "If they'll even let you on," he added with a grimace.

"It's not our fault that that bloody bus driver doesn't like dung bombs" James protested

"JAMES!" Katherine Potter reprimanded. "WHAT have I told you about swearing!"

"I-er- sorry, Mum." He cringed. The Knight Bus pulled up, interrupting any further conversation.

"Nice one, Prongs," Sirius whispered in his ear. James was just about to tell Sirius to shut up, or something a little bit more vulgar, when he saw her.

She was just standing there staring off into the distance. Suddenly, James realized how different she looked with her hair in a bun and without her usual long sleeved white jumper and baggy khakis.

"_Odd," _he thought, _"she kind of almost looks pretty…"_ His eyes widened comically, _"I did NOT just think that! Ewww, Evans! Fuck, my brain's been addled by the long train ride!"_ He sighed, _"Oh, well, at least I can make fun of her next year," _he thought and grinned.

"What are you grinning about?" asked Sirius, "Never mind, bad question. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

James snickered and after checking to make sure his parents weren't looking, he stuck his hands into his pockets and boarded the bus. Sirius already had his wand out to cast the spell. Everything was going according to plan.

"JAMES EDWARD POTTER, SIRIUS ORION BLACK, GET BACK HERE!!"

By the end of the quite eventful trip back home, he had completely forgotten about Evans and her sudden change of clothes.

Lily's P.O.V

After the ten kilometer walk to the not-so-upscale part of London, Lily arrived at the door of the old building that was her home. She had found it when she was ten and had gotten in many fights for it over the years. She was quite fond of it. Well, as fond as a person could be for a drafty, empty (except for all the broken glass), smelly building. It took her almost ten minutes to break all the locking and unbreakable charms she had installed. However; if she came back for the summer without putting on any charms, all her stuff would be gone. The door, windows, and weak parts of the walls would have been trashed.

Dropping her bag on the floor, she walked down a flight of stairs to the basement, pried open a loose tile, and pulled out a jar of money. She emptied the contents on the floor and began counting them.

"_Damn! I thought I had more than this, I'll have to go pick-pocketing again…" _

However skilled at pick-pocketing she was; the older you were, the harder it was to get away with it. She would've just gotten a summer job, but since she didn't have a birth certificate or any type of identification, it made it near impossible to get a job. Well, a decent job. There was always prostitution, drug dealing, and even loan sharking; however, Lily had never been in a situation where she had been forced to sink so low.

Groaning, she put all the money back into the jar and leaned against the wall of her cold, dark, sanctuary. She wished the building was smaller. She had three floors all to herself and while she was used to being on her own, the size of the building made her feel quite lonely. She picked some matches and began to light the hundreds of candles that were scattered around the floors of her home. She wasn't poor enough to be incapable of affording a flashlight, but she liked candles better. They calmed her down and made the dreary building feel more comfortable. There was not a single piece of wood (besides her wands) in the basement, so it wasn't a fire hazard and she always kept her worn, second-hand books away from the entrancing flames. Before she went to Hogwarts during the winter, she had almost frozen to death because the building had neither heating nor air-conditioning.

She sat on a moth-eaten pillow and closed her eyes, welcoming the darkness. She used to come down here to relax and think of better times, but to her dismay she found that there were no 'better times.' She suddenly stood up and began to check the validity of the charms on all the windows and door. She had to renew a few. Paranoia never left her for long. After a quarter of an hour had passed, and she was certain that her safe haven was not vulnerable, she settled back down onto her cushion and fell asleep, ignoring her hunger. She could have easily transfigured some random object into a bed, but the Ministry might notice the use of magic in a very suspicious part of town and come to investigate. Lily knew that they weren't authorized to make such searches; however, in light of the increasing amount of Death Eater attacks, she knew that they were under a lot of strain.

She slipped into restless dreams of a rainy day and a blonde, horse-faced, woman.

The next day, Lily awoke early and found that most of her candles had burnt out. She cursed, and after stuffing some Muggle money into her pocket, she went out to buy some more. She entered a tacky convenience shop and bought five hundred of them. The middle-aged man at the cash register didn't comment, but raised his eyebrows slightly. Lily didn't know if it was because of her purchase or if he saw the knife in her belt. Lily smiled inwardly. He probably thought she was in some sort of cult because her boots were very 'gothic' looking. She was about to leave, but stopped when she saw the headline of the London Monthly report, "Unexplained Death Toll Rises to 200".

"Horrible, isn't it?" asked the man behind the counter nervously. Lily frowned slightly as he went on, "Them scientists don't even know how or who killed 'em."

"Very odd, indeed," answered Lily. The man looked surprised at her jargon, "I'll take this as well."

After she bought the newspaper, she got a sandwich at a café, sat down in an abandoned park, and looked over it for any clues. It was obvious that these "unexplained killings" were the result of the Killing Curse, or rather, Death Eaters. She found that the first of the killings had taken place in December. She frowned, while she didn't get the Daily Prophet, she was sure that she would have heard of the Death Eater attacks from the other students. She was puzzled as to why they weren't reported. She knew that the Ministry was rumored to be quite incompetent, but she doubted they were _this _incompetent. "_Unless…_" she paused, thinking it over.

"_Unless, they didn't report the killings because they didn't want people to panic. Yes, that would make sense; or rather, in Ministry logic."_

To Lily, not reporting the killings to the Wizarding World was a grave mistake. If people didn't know what was going on, how were they to protect themselves? Lily finished her sandwich, folded the newspaper up, put it in her bag, and headed for the subway station. She wasn't planning on taking the subway herself; in fact, she only went there because the conditions of a subway station at rush hour were perfect for pick-pocketing. As a child, she had been content to steal food from garbage dumps; but after a horrible food poisoning incident, she decided that buying her own food was much better. At first, she felt bad for stealing people's wallets and purses, but she consoled herself by remembering that they didn't need the money as much as she did and always remembered to destroy their credit cards.

She made her way down the stairs and leaned against the wall, waiting. She wrinkled her nose at the smell of urine. Lovely.

_August 27__th__ (six days before school starts) _

Lily gritted her teeth in irritation as she was yet again forced to defend herself against this annoying gang of drug-addicts and rapists. There were five of them, plus the two she had knocked unconscious, and Lily patience was at its breaking point.

"C'mon, totty, I'll promise to be gentle." said one wearing a skull bandana. Lily barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes.

"Leave me alone," she growled, her hands playing with the concealed hilt of her sword. Her inner sadist would have loved for her to draw it and see their faces, but she restrained herself. If only she could get them to leave her alone without violence…

It was only after she received her Hogwarts letter and found Diagon Alley that she decided to carry a sword. She had seen it hanging in a store window. It had been labeled unbreakable, so she couldn't resist buying it. She rarely used it; but when she did, the fight would usually be over in seconds. Most people did not expect her to be carrying a sword. A gun would have been useful as well, but bullets cost money and no one where she lived had enough money for one either, so she didn't get one.

"Oh, c'mon, totty," said his blonde haired companion and Lily lost it. She punched him in the face and was satisfied with the cracking noise his nose made. She kicked the one with the bandana into the wall and turned around to deal with the last one when she felt a sharp pain in the center of her back. She swung around quickly, but not fast enough to avoid another cut being scratched into her back. She smashed him into the wall again, this time making sure he was unconscious and turned around to see a gun pointed in her face.

"_Fuck." _

"D-Don't move!" stuttered the last member, who looked younger than she. She raised her eyebrows and tried to quench her fear.

"Put the gun down," she said calmly, staring him down.

He looked terrified and she sighed inwardly.

"Listen to me," she said, "If you put the gun down and leave, I promise not to hurt you."

She then cursed, remembering where she was. Here promises meant nothing.

In a quick motion she wrenched the piece from his hands and stuck it in her pocket.

"Leave," she told him and he ran. She limped over to the unconscious bodies and freed them of all their money. Biting her lip, she made her way back to the building; trying and failing to ignore the gashes on her back.

Well, _now_ she had a gun.

_August 29__th__ (four days until school starts) _

If Lily could have ever flown without a broom it would have been now. She had just returned from a very successful pick-pocketing mission. She even forgot the cuts on her back that she had accumulated. Thankfully, she had been able to disinfect them promptly and with the help of some potions she had made, they were healing quickly. Lily stuck the money in the jar and made her way up to the top floor where an assortment of old furniture she had dragged up over the years lay. She had a few pieces of carpet, a three legged table, and a chair taped together with duct tape. She grinned to herself and sat on her chair, humming softly. There were many reasons she disliked the large building that was her home, but it had its advantages as well. For one, she could do whatever she wanted. Two, and the most important one of all, she had her privacy. Before she lived here, she always remembered hating the fact that, in the city, she could never find a place of her own. Now she had one.

She opened the only door of a previously two door cabinet; which had taken her ages to haul up the stairs; and was about to eat something, when a strange blue band on her finger began to glow.

"_Blast! Fucking Death Eaters! I hope there aren't a lot, I'm not sure I can handle them with my wounds…"_

Over the years, living in the slums of London, Lily learned that the back alleys were the favorite places for Death Eaters to torture their victims. She had gotten rid of a few, but not enough to make any noticeable dent in their ranks. She pulled on her large black sweatshirt and pulled the hood to conceal her face. She ran down the stairs and out the door, but not before grabbing a vile of painkillers. She locked the door with a basic charm, not having time for much else, and hurried through the dimly lit alleys. As the ring's glow grew brighter, Lily knew she was getting close.

Lily swallowed as she began to hear the screams. So they were still alive. Good. She would save them. She had to. She sped up, biting her lip in anger. Oh, would they pay!

However, she was usually uninjured when she fought them; and usually, there were only ten Death Eaters at the most.

There were twenty. She had stopped against a wall and had counted them. She couldn't see who they were torturing and maybe it was for the better. She might have done something stupid.

"_Well at least that fucker Voldemort isn't here," s_he thought, trying to get her emotions under control. _"C'mon, you can take them!" _

She stepped out into the street lamp looking at the many Death Eaters. Her eyes widened as she recognized the three people lying on the ground. She swallowed and directed her attention to the Death Eaters who had frozen and were staring at her.

"Well, well, look what we have here, Death Eaters." Lily spat the name like a curse, "I think I'll have to _dispose_ of you," she said, smirking slightly.

She could tell they were nervous. It was one of the perks of being 183 cm tall.

Feeling somewhat ecstatic as the instinct to kill took over, she advanced, like the jet black wolf her Animagus form was, on her prey.

**A/N: Revised Chapter One is finished! The revised version of TPTA will basically be me adding more details. I don't think I shall be changing anything major, but you never know! I'm also doing this to get my inspiration back for the sequel, which I started posting, but then kind of lost it. I should be getting these out pretty fast, but in the meantime you could always review… (hint, hint)**


	2. The Real Lily Evans

Chapter Two-

James' P.O.V

James lay on his bed re-reading his Potions essay Professor Slughorn had given all the soon to be seventh years. Now that Sirius had left, it was incredibly dull. His great uncle had just died and left him an arse loads of gold. Sirius said he felt bad for staying at James' house for so long, so he got his own flat. Both James and his parents had told Sirius that they loved having him, but Sirius had said he felt bad for intruding. So now James was bored out of his mind.

It also didn't help that Potions was his least favorite subject. That was more of Evans' forte. He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"_Bloody Evans. She always finds some way to annoy me. I don't know how she does it, but she does, I swear!" _

And how do you write an essay on _Potions_ of all subjects? Potions were just mixing stuff together. Alright, it was a very _complicated_ way of mixing stuff together; but nonetheless, James could not figure out why they were called Potions _essays_. It made it sound so ominous. Then again, Slughorn _was_ a Slytherin. James sighed and let his head fall onto the bed.

"_Boring…"_

Why did Sirius have to leave? Sirius was his best friend, his twin, his soul…er…-brother?

He got up and stared out the window into his yard. It really was a beautiful sight. His mother and his father were both devote gardeners and spent most of their time, when not at St.Mungo's, in their garden. His mother's favorite flower, the daisy, lined each of their many hedges. It was perfect, gorgeous, and utterly piss-boring. James never shared his parent's enthusiasm for gardening or their obsession with idealism in everything. Their gardening, art, his grades, it just went on and on. James didn't dislike his parents; he just thought that sometimes it really didn't matter if the picture hanging on the wall was a little crooked or if he got an Acceptable instead of an Outstanding. His opinions didn't cause rows between his parents and him, just debates at the dinner table. Which; mind you, he always won. Well, sometimes.

In fact, James liked things better if they were a little abstract. He liked Muggle abstract art better than the work of famed painters, such as Rembrandt. He liked things that were not-so-perfect even in things like dating. He would only date girls who weren't too bothered if their make-up smeared or if they got a stain on their jumper like most of the girl population of Hogwarts would.

He picked up his quill and wrote a few sentences on the parchment.

"_Arggh, Potions is driving me insane." _He grumbled internally.

James yawned and then scowled as he remembered the only girl he _wished _would get angry when stupid stuff happened to her clothes or non-existent make-up: Evans.

His first year of Hogwarts was not how he expected it at all. It was the first time that he and Sirius realized that last names didn't really make that much of a difference and when Remus and Peter found that they could make friends after all. It was also the year he meet Lily Evans. To tell the truth, though he'd never actually say it aloud, at first James had admired Evans. She completely changed his view of what girls were supposed to be like.

At eleven, James thought all girls talked and cared about were their looks and boys. Basically, he thought they were annoying and the mere thought of dating one was disturbing much less doing anything _else_ with one. However, meeting Lily Evans as well as Sirius's insane amount of girlfriends changed his views. Sure, Evans was bitchy, cold-hearted, and seemed to be on the rag 24/7; but James had to admit, again only to himself and even that was a major achievement, she was kind of cool. Unlike James, who had always been popular and loved it, she had never seemed to care what people thought about her. She had no friends to speak of, but she wasn't one of those people who tried to force their way into your group. She had no interest in friends whatsoever, something James admired and hated about her. But, really, she was always rather stroppy.

James knew that as a prefect; Remus became one in fifth year to James' and Sirius's horror and amusement, you were supposed to be a spoilsport and ruin all the fun. That didn't mean that she had to actually do it. She had a talent for walking in on things that he'd rather she didn't, such as finding James and Sirius tanked out of their minds in sixth year. The Marauders were never safe with her around. Initially; they had tried to do something about her, but nothing worked. They had even broken into her dorm once, intent on stealing her books/knickers and hiding around the castle, but her truck was locked. Even Peter, who was the best at breaking into things, couldn't break half the charms on her trunk.

Shaking away the memories of the failed operation: Annoy The Hell Out Of Evans And Make Her Leave The Incredibly Handsome And Not To Mention Brilliant Marauders Alone (AHOEMHLIHNTMBMA for short), James grabbed his worn Potions book and flipped through a few pages, cursing Slughorn and all his ancestors.

Five minutes later Potions was the last thing on his mind.

He heard a huge crash, and his parents' panicky voices. He stood up quickly, his heart hammering in his chest. He heard shouts and was suddenly aware that there were more people in his house than he and his parents. A sinister laugh jolted him back to his senses.

"_Oh Merlin, please may it not be Death Eaters." _

Grabbing his wand, he hurtled down the stairs to the sound of his parents' screams.

As he was running down the stairs, he was suddenly struck with how surreal this was. Screams, broken dishes, and evil laughs. He doubted any of those sounds had ever been heard in the ancestral home of the Potters before. How strange, it seemed like time had slowed down. James felt like he was trapped in some sort of spell that made it impossible to go faster. Every time he tried to speed up, he seemed to go slower. But that couldn't be. He had never heard of a spell that could do that before. He tripped on the last stair and fell onto broken glass. James hardly felt the pain. He picked himself up and began to run again. He was always running, he mused. As a child, he ran through the Potter home like some sort of wild animal, or so his mother had told him. He ran through the hallways all through his years at Hogwarts. He ran from his teachers, to class, and from angry Slytherins. If he had not run so much before, would he be able to run faster now? The screaming stopped and there was an eerie silence that James liked less than the screaming.

As he cleared the last flight and was about to open the door to the dining room, there was silence. Bursting through the door, he shouted, _"Expelliarmus!"_

Twenty precise Shield Charms later, James felt his wand rocket out of his hand. His parents were lying on the floor as if sleeping, but everyone in the room knew better.

"W-What did you do to them?" He hissed at the Death Eaters, trying to buy time, to think of _any _possible way to escape. He looked around, taking in the broken dishes, smashed chandelier, and shattered table.

"Oh, don't worry," A tall Death Eater said maliciously, "They're not dead…yet."

A woman spoke, "Oh yes, we're going to have some fun with you before you die!"

Fear gripped James.

"_Fuck, they're going to kill us all!" _Before he could say or do something the tall Death Eater pulled out his wand.

"_Stupefy!" _he cried.

James tried to move, but his body didn't seem to work properly. He unwillingly closed his eyes, and then it all went black.

James awoke, hoping against hope, that it was all a bad dream and that he would still be in his room. This hope was shattered as he opened his eyes and found himself in what appeared to be a dark alleyway, surrounded by Death Eaters.

"Oh look, he's awake," said the woman, _"Crucio!" _

James screamed; there was nothing else he could do. He rolled around, his throat hoarse with screaming. And then it stopped and he heard a voice.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here: Death Eaters. I think I'll have to _dispose_ of you."

He raised his head slightly. A tall figure wearing what looked like a black Muggle sweatshirt over it's face stood in the lamp light. The figure drew a sword out of its belt and then a black wand.

"_Avada Kedavra."_

The tall Death Eater fell with a thud, and the black figure, with the other hand, skillfully cut off another Death Eater's head. The Death Eaters panicked, filling the air with curses and spells. The black figure worked its way quickly to the center of the group, slaughtering them with both wand and sword. James stared, too shocked to move, not even when an severed arm fell near his parents unconscious bodies, or when he realized the pavement was more red than black. He just stared.

Now there were only three Death Eaters left.

"YOU BASTARD!" screamed the woman Death Eater, distracting the black figure. A Death Eater behind, deprived of his wand, did the first thing that came to mind and punched the figure straight in the back. A low moan ripped from the figure's mouth and the hood fell back reveling bright red hair tied in a tight bun.

"_No, it can't be-"_

It was Lily Evans.

A furious look appeared on her face, she swung the sword around, cutting the man in half, and she pulled a dagger from her belt. With one hand she cut off the woman Death Eater's head and with the other pinned the last Death Eater to the wall. James stared up at her as she sunk to the floor, her back covered in blood. He tried to stand up, but his legs wouldn't move. She stumbled to her feet limping closer and closer to him.

"_What is she__…__?"_ She sank to her knees in front of him, fishing something out of her belt.

"Here," she whispered, "drink this. It's a…" She stopped suddenly, turning away from him as she vomited a large amount of blood onto the already stained cement.

"-painkiller," She finished, wiping her mouth. With one bloody hand she pulled out the cork. Holding his head surprisingly gently for someone who had just murdered twenty Death Eaters, she held up a vile.

"Open your mouth," she said hoarsely. He complied. The strange liquid burned his throat on the way down, and then, suddenly, he felt instantaneously better. He was about to say something when he realized she was no longer by his side. He scrambled to his feet as she administered the potion to both his parents.

"Well, the good news is that none of you are severely injured." She managed to cough out after a while.

"Evans, what-" He started, but she cut him off

"What does a room in your house look like?"

"Huh? Um… well the kitchen has a brown round table, blue curtains, white tile…" He said automatically

"What town?"

"Godric's Hollow, but Evans-" he stopped as she levitated both his parents, grabbing both their wrists with one hand. "Potter, come here."

"What are you-"

She sighed and pulled him close. Suddenly they were face to face, and James felt his face flush.

Then in a flash they were in James' kitchen. _"How did she get through the wards?" _He thought, _"Wait, the Death Eaters must have broken them."_

Suddenly he realized that Evans was pale and shaking.

"Evans?" When she didn't respond he shook her gently, "Evans!"

"Ah!" She cried. "Oh, sorry!" She managed a weak smile, "C'mon, let's get your parents on a sofa or something."

He blinked. "Why don't you just 'enervate' them?" She froze.

"Evans?"

"Potter, there is something I need to ask you- no _beg _you." She turned away from him, her bloodstained jumper shining in the candle light. He flinched involuntarily.

"I need you to keep my identity a secret," she said monotonously.

"Wha-"

"You can't tell _anyone_ who I am, what I did." She turned her bright green eyes on him that, he noticed for the first time, had that horrible melancholy look that you usual saw in the eyes of terminal patients or abused children "Not even your parents, because they'll tell Dumbledore."

"Why would they tell Dumbledore?" he asked nervously. _"She couldn't know about-"_

"I know about the Order of the Phoenix, Potter. I also know who the head of it is and its members," she said quietly.

There was an awkward silence as James took this in.

Finally he said, "But, how-"

"Well?" She said staring at him intensely.

"Er…I…umm…Why would it matter, your identity, I mean?"

She tensed up at that and then bit her lip as if pondering her answer.

Finally she said emotionlessly,

"One of the reasons is, I don't have any parents, or guardian, and if anyone found out they would send me to an orphanage."

James stared at her, _"Well that explains a lot, I guess." _He thought.

"And if_ he_ found out, do you really think would leave me alone?"

She stared down at her bloody hands.

"Alright," he said finally, "I won't tell anyone."

"Really?" she asked uncertainly.

"Well you did just kind of save my life," he told her.

"Oh…yeah, well just tell your parents that some stranger rescued you without telling you their name, or something like that."

"Yeah, okay, but what about your back?"

At first she looked surprised and then a little confused.

"_Huh? What is she confused about?" _he thought.

"No, it'll be okay," she said smiling sadly, and then said in an undertone, "Always is."

"Evans, your back-" But she cut him off.

"Oh, and good job on making Head Boy, Potter. See you next year."

And with that, she Disapparated, leaving him standing there, staring at the pool of blood where she had been a second ago.

"Head Boy?"

**A/N: This chapter was a little short, but I really couldn't fit more in to it. On another note, I just wanted to say that this story will eventually be L/J, but it's going to take awhile. There will be some hints of it in this fic, but it won't really start up until the sequel. Also, please review! I really appreciate your comments! And special thanks to my beta swtaznhottiechik.**


	3. Recovery

Chapter Three-

_Lily's P.O.V._

"_Bugger, bugger, bugger!" _was the first thought that ran through Lily's mind after she Disapparated, _"I am _so_fucked! No way will Potter keep his promise! What the HELL was I thinking?" _

She paused and forced herself to calm down. She stood absolutely still for a few minutes trying to catch her breath that did not seem to want to slow down.

"It's okay," she whispered to herself, "it's okay, it's okay, it's okay."

Lily shivered and involuntarily wrapped her arms around herself, causing pain to spike up her injured back. She let her arms fall, fell to her knees, gritting her teeth and grasped the ground with all her strength as if it would make the pain go away. She didn't know how long she sat there, but eventually she realized that she had to move. If someone came along she was easy prey. Inch by torturous inch, she pulled herself up; only to start coughing up blood again. Slowly, she lifted her head and forced air into her lungs. She looked around disgustedly and muttered a spell, causing the blood to disappear and the bodies to vanish.

She forced herself not to collapse and steadily made her way back to the old building. It was a very slow trek, as she was forced to stop nearly every few meters to catch her breath. Finally she made it to her building. It took her five attempts to cast the right spells so the doors would unlock; and when she did she barely had enough time to close the door before her body finally gave out.

"_Bloody hell,"_ was her last thought as everything went black.

She awoke to the sound of people screaming outside, a daily occurrence around where she lived She hissed, and crawled on her hands and knees, trying to keep her back straight. Groaning, she lifted herself off the floor and stumbled over to an old wooden box that she kept next to the door for emergencies like this. Shaking like mad, she pulled the lid off, only to drop it onto the worn tile floor causing a loud noise to echo around the empty room. She pull out a sealed plastic bag and opened it, her hands still trembling uncontrollably. Lily pulled out some bandages, ointment, and a bottle of painkiller. Downing the vial in one gulp, she let it drop to the floor with a small tinkle of shattered glass. She tore off the black sweatshirt and set on removing her blood-stained jumper.

"_Damn it_, _the blood dried and now my jumper's stuck to my skin!" _

She gingerly tugged on her jumper. She bit her lip so hard to stop from screaming that blood trickled down her chin. Grabbing the dagger in a sheath on her forearm, she slowly cut the jumper away from her skin, wincing as her shaking hand caused more injuries. Lily dropped the bloody jumper to the floor and seized the ointment and unscrewed the cap slowly. She pulled her wand from its place in her belt and transfigured a pebble into a large mirror. She turned around, twisted her head to see her back, and slowly dribbled the ointment on her cuts. Ignoring the stinging, Lily gradually wrapped the bandages around her torso. She limped to the stairwell, glad that she had removed most of the doors in the building. Walking up to the second floor took ages and Lily thought she'd never get there. Finally, with sweat running down her forehead and her breath coming out in short gasps, she cleared the last step and stumbled into her makeshift bedroom. Unlike most teens her age, her 'bedroom' was not covered in posters of her favorite bands; in fact there was nothing in it but an old mattress that she had found in a dump, a lamp without its shade, and a tapped up cardboard box. She forced herself a few more steps and grabbed a long-sleeved jumper from the box. She slide her trousers off and wrapped the black sweatshirt around her waist in an effort to keep warm. She only had one pair of pants besides the ones she wore to school, and it would cost money to get them cleaned. Abandoning her trousers for later, she stumbled over to the mattress in the corner, and pulled the sheets over her blood-covered form; barely registering the fact that she would have to get those cleaned. Five minutes later, Lily was lost to the world

_-Days later-_

When Lily finally dragged herself out of bed, days later, she was in for a big shock: it was August 31.

She cursed loudly, not caring if anyone heard her.

How could she have slept that long? No, maybe her watch was malfunctioning… Lily swore again and climbed up to the third floor where she kept her food. She grabbed the remainder of her perishable food and ate it and what she didn't eat she threw out.

"_Thank God," _she thought, while packing her trunk, ignoring the pain in her back, _"If I hadn't already gotten my school supplies I would be in trouble." _

Lily had gone to Diagon Alley (and Knockturn Alley) the week before the 'Death Eater incident.' She had no qualms about using Dark Magic or anything that was sold in Knockturn Alley. She understood why half of it was illegal, but she honestly couldn't care less. It wasn't like she was hurting anyone.

"_Well," _she modified, _"Anyone who doesn't deserve it."_

She was placed her trunk at the door of her bedroom, and lay on her stomach on her bed thinking about the whole Potter situation. If he did tell, she would have no way of knowing until tomorrow. If Dumbledore saw fit to inform the Ministry she would probably be ambushed at King's Cross. However, if he didn't, which she thought was more plausible, he would probably summon her to his office.

But what reason could he have for not telling the Ministry, unless he saw her as a valuable asset to the Order of the Phoenix. She let out a soft laugh. She was sure that Dumbledore wouldn't see it that way. She could count the times she had talked to him on one hand, none of which were of any real importance, but Lily knew he'd be disgusted with her. Dumbledore was too kind and merciful to want anything to do with the likes of _her_. She closed her eyes. God, what if they came tomorrow and tried to lock her away? She knew she had done enough to spend hundreds of life sentences in Azkaban. She wasn't worried so much about the Ministry. She could easily escape them. But where would she go? What would she do? Everything was resting on her graduation from Hogwarts. If she didn't have a diploma, she couldn't become an Auror and do what she did best: fight. If she didn't graduate, there was nothing else for her. The rest of her life would be spent in hiding. The Ministry would obviously inform other countries and then she would be a fugitive until she died. She didn't want to hide anymore. She just wanted to be free. But, even if she risked the chance of becoming an outlaw she couldn't run away. If for some reason, no matter how small of a chance, Potter hadn't told, she had to graduate. She had to take this risk. She closed her eyes and tried to get some sleep in preparation for the long day to come.

In the morning, she woke at eight. She threw out her capris, no longer needing them, and put on her last pair of pants. She grabbed her large belt and long black sweatshirt and after checking to make sure she hadn't left anything behind, she shrunk her trunk and put it in her pocket. She walked down the stairs slowly as to not irritate her back and exited the building, locking the door securely. She would only come back here one more time before she started Auror training at the end of the year, and by then hopefully she could make some money and get a real flat.

She left the building at nine-thirty, and reached the restaurant at quarter to eleven. She changed into her 'normal clothes' and un-shrunk her trunk before walking across the street to the station. She was about to go through the barrier when she saw him.

James' P.O.V

_Flashback_

_James, after entering the living room again, discovered that the Death Eaters had just left his and his parents wands lying there. Picking the wands up, he quickly 'enervated' his parents and told them of the 'mysterious' stranger. _

"_You mean, someone came and rescued us from all those Death Eaters?" Katherine Potter said worriedly, exchanging a look with James' father. _

"_I think slaughtered all the Death Eaters would be more appropriate," said Edward Potter with an equally worried look on his face, "Right, James?" _

"_Er…yeah."_

"_Did you know who he was?" asked his mother, "Merlin, we have to contact Albus, what did he look like?"_

"_I didn't see 'his' face," he said, putting on his completely innocent look, wondering what they would say if they found out it was not only a girl but his classmate, "S-er- he just came in, killed the Death Eaters and then left."_

_He didn't know exactly why he wasn't telling them. After all, they were his parents. He was supposed to trust him. But no matter how much he disliked Evans, he had promised her that he wouldn't tell anyone. In fact, he wasn't really sure why he had done that either. Maybe, it was because she looked so sad…_

_Both his parents stared at him, "Wait," said his mother, surveying the room, "If he killed the Death Eaters then where are the bodies._

"_Er-he took them with him," said James thinking fast._

_His parents looked at each other worriedly. _

"_Why would he have done that?" his mother wondered aloud._

_James' father sighed, "We must inform Albus about this…person, right away. James, you are sure that you have no clue who he was…"_

"_No, I have no idea who they were. I told you a million times." James sighed, feeling guilty for lying to his parents. _

_End of Flashback_

Now, a week later it was time to go back to Hogwarts. He had gotten a separate letter from Dumbledore a day after the 'incident,' telling him that he was Head Boy. The Head Girl was Lily Evans.

He wondered if Evans was really doing okay. I mean by the look of those cuts on her back… James frowned, were had she gotten them anyway? He hadn't seen her get hit by a spell or anything. James leaned against the bouncing Knight Bus window, feeling uncharacteristically depressed.

Evans killing the Death Eaters, Evans saving him, Evans living all alone; he just couldn't grasp it.

How could she live like that? How could he not have noticed? They did get in fights weekly, after all. He just didn't understand, One second, he thought Evans was just an annoying cow with no life and another…Merlin, he didn't even know what he thought now! He hated her right? No, James couldn't hate Evans, not after how sad she had been. He frowned, was it his fault she was sad? Merely the thought of it made him feel sick. He gritted his teeth, he was going to leave her alone, from now on. The whole thing seemed stupid now that he thought about it. No, James wouldn't bother Evans anymore. That's what she had always wanted, hadn't it? To be left alone. James didn't understand it, but if it would make her happier, then somehow it was worth it. James didn't know when he started caring about Evans' happiness, and personally didn't care. He just hoped this whole Death Eater incident wouldn't ruin his seventh year.

"_Fuck my seventh year," _he thought, _"How about my life?"_

Besides being something James had had nightmares about, the incident had been a reality check. James had never worried so much about the future of the Wizarding World and Voldemort. Merlin, he was practically used to seeing the death tolls in the Prophet everyday. What if the Ministry and Dumbledore couldn't stop Voldemort? What if Voldemort took over Britain? The world? And instinctively James knew that he wouldn't, no, _couldn't _let that happen. Everything was riding on this war. If they didn't win there was no future for Britain.

He had owled Remus, Sirius, and Peter and told them what had happened with the Death Eaters, not about Evans though.

"_I really wonder if she's okay…" _he thought.

He closed his eyes and tried, unsuccessfully, to get some sleep. Twenty minutes later the bus reached King's Cross and he got off and immediately saw Sirius. He and Sirius joked around a bit until Remus and Peter showed up. They was about to walk through the barrier when he noticed a flashed of red. He spun around, and there she was.

Even though he had seen her only a week ago, she looked completely different. There was no other word for it: she looked terrible. Evans had huge bags under her eyes and was very pale. It looked like she hadn't eaten for days. The baggy clothes that hung from her bony frame moved with the breeze, showing how thin she really was.

Suddenly, her eyes met his. He found himself unable to look away. He hadn't been imagining it after all. Her eyes _were_ so sad. She smiled slightly and looked away to go through the barrier. Behind him he heard Sirius curse softly.

"Blimey! What the hell happened to Evans?"

Sirius wasn't the only one who noticed Evans' gaunt appearance. As soon as she passed through the barrier people started to whisper and point. She completely ignored them and got onto the train.

"Prong! Prongs! Anybody in there?" Sirius called.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" James said as he snapped out of his reverie.

Sirius stared at his best friend, he had been acting really weirdly.

"I said, what do you think happened to Evans?"

"She looked really bad," said Remus, "I wouldn't be surprised if she fainted any second."

"I dunno," said James, _"Liar," _his mind yelled at him. "Maybe she's on a diet?" he suggested weakly.

All of his friends stared at him

"It was just a suggestion," grumbled James, as he friends burst out laughing, "You think of something better, Padfoot."

Sirius just rolled his eyes and they all got on the train. They found an empty compartment at the back of the train and Sirius immediately yawned and stretched out on five empty seats. Peter glared at him and cleared his throat.

"You mind moving, Padfoot?"

"Yes," came the sleepy reply.

James put his trunk on the luggage rack and settled down on the other side of the compartment, finding himself wanting to go somewhere quiet.

He glanced up to see Sirius standing on the seat staring down on him.

"Hey, mates, I think Prongs is depressed."

"Really? He is?" Peter moved to get a closer look.

"N-no, I'm not really…"

"_Bollocks!"_

"Merlin, I think he is!" Remus said.

"And you know what that means," Sirius said, a grin appearing on his face.

It had become a ritual of the Marauders that if one of them became depressed the rest would do something absolutely crazy to drive them insane. When James first heard of the idea, he thought it was crazy, but surprisingly it actually worked. When Remus had nearly killed Snape in sixth year and he and Sirius hadn't been on speaking terms, Peter and James had spoken in Shakespearian language for five whole days before Remus and Sirius made-up and then proceeded to ambush them in their own dorm. Sure James had had a black eye, but it was worth it.

Sirius looked solemnly down at him, "James Edward Potter," he said in a condescending voice, "You have been brought before this court for breaking Rule 58 of the Marauder Code of Behavior. This court will now decide what your punishment will be."

James scowled, he was not in the mood for messing around, "Sirius, stop thi-"

"Silence! You are forbidden to speak, unless you are asked to directly. Now, fellow Marauders, what shall his punishment be?"

"Let's do that spell where only the user can reverse it, you know the one that turns you purple."

"Nonsense, Wormtail," cried Remus, "We did that when Sirius was all hung up on Elizabeth Zeller."

"Ah, yes, forgive me, Moony."

"We could pelt him with dung bombs."

"Too unoriginal Wormtail, my friend."

"I've got it," Sirius finally yelled triumphantly.

"_Brace yourself…"_

" James Edward Potter, you are hereby sentenced to…what is he sentenced to again?"

"It was your idea, Prongs."

"Yeah, we haven't figured out a way to read each other's mind…yet."

"How about we just not do this at all," James grumbled.

"But that's blasphemy!"

"How dare you suggest such a thing!"

James groaned.

"I remember now, you must infiltrate the Head's compartment and steal the new Head Boy's badge!" Sirius turned around to look at Remus, "Wait, Remus, are you the Head Boy?"

"I probably would've been if not for you."

"You wound me, Moony! What have I ever done to…er…bad question."

"One little problem there," James said, realizing that he must have forgotten to mention in his letter that _he _was the Head Boy, "I am the Head Boy."

They stared.

"Dumbledore made _you_ the Head Boy? Cor, Prongs, we're not stupid."

James pulled out the badge and smirked at him.

Sirius' jaw dropped, "Moony, do you see what I see?"

"What was Dumbledore smoking?"

"Yeah, of all people he chose James?"

"Hey, I am sitting here!"

"Hey, Prongs, Moony, doesn't that mean you have to be at meeting with the prefects now?"

"Oh bugger, c'mon Prongs we're going to be late!" called Remus, throwing down his book as he rummaged through his trunk searching for his robes.

"Prongs?"

"Huh, what?" he said, blinking at his friends, "What'd I miss?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Prefect meeting. Now."

"Crap," James leapt up, and also began searching for his robes.

"Mate, you've seemed right knackered lately," said Peter, looking worriedly at him.

"Well, so would you if you saw a bunch Death Eaters getting their heads lopped off a week ago," James muttered darkly.

He looked up to find all three of his friends staring at him.

"What?"

"W-Wait, James" said Sirius, looking horrified, "You never told us anything about…heads getting…"

"I believe he wrote about some stranger getting _rid _of the Death Eaters," said Remus, who was looking equally horrified.

Oh, this was not the way he wanted his seventh year to start.

"Er-Prefect meeting to go to!" he said, as he pulled his robes over his head and ran out the door, "C'mon, Moony!"

"_Well, that could have gone better," _he thought as he ran down the hall. He stopped right in front of the door of the Head's Compartment and walked in to find the prefects and Head Girl waiting for him.

"You're late, Potter, Lupin."

**A/N: And this chapter's rather long. Special thanks to my reviewers, sweets55, gazingdreamer, Becca, indescribablyBee. You'll learn a bit more about Lily next chapter, and just a warning, if you haven't already guessed, she's kind of crazy. But that's okay! Please review!**


	4. To Protect Them All

Chapter Four-

_Lily's P.O.V._

As soon as Lily walked through the barrier, she knew it was a mistake to not have looked into a mirror before leaving. Almost everyone on the entire platform stopped what they were doing and stared at her. A few parents feebly attempted to distract their children, but it was no use. Lily kept her head down as she quickly walked towards the train. She could hear people whispering about her as if she wasn't there.

"What the hell happened to her? She looks like…"

"Merlin, she looks like she's going to collapse!"

"… that Lily Evans? She was always a weird one. I wonder what happened to her? What a… "

"… that weird eating disease. What's it called, anorexia?"

"…looks so creepy!"

"…not nice to stare…"

"_Great. First Potter, and now everyone else. I can't look that bad, can I?"_she muttered.

No one had stared at her on the way there. But then again, it wasn't that uncommon for people to walk around looking half dead in her neighborhood. She mentally shook herself. She wasn't in her neighborhood now. She was around people from Hogwarts and she couldn't forget that. She was just about to walk into the train when she was stopped by Dorcas Meadows.

"Hey, Evans, are you okay? You look terrible," she said, frowning slightly.

Lily had always liked Meadows. She wasn't like the other girls who only cared about makeup and boys. Sure, Meadows had always been popular, but she seemed to know what she wanted to do with her life. Lily was envious of that. She knew what she wanted to do, but Meadows was just so much more confident than she was. As far as Lily could tell, Meadows wanted to be a Healer and would be rather good at it. She had been in most of Lily's classes the previous year and Lily had noticed that she had an aptitude for Transfiguration.

"Evans?"

To her horror, Lily realized that she had spaced out and reassured Meadows, rather loudly, that she was alright. Unfortunately, people were still staring and whispering, making her feel nervous. Lily had never liked attention; in fact, she found life much easier without it. She also wished she had brown hair instead of red. Even blonde would have been better. Red hair attracted too much attention and none of it good, especially with the kind of life she led. Though she preferred being outside the train, after a few minutes, Lily was fed up with the staring and pointing. She lifted her heavy trunk with one hand and slipped into the compartment. She immediately regretted it as her back gave a painful twinge. Hopefully, no one had noticed how she had lifted her trunk. All the students and maybe some parents would know there was something wrong with that. Even the strongest Quidditch players had trouble with lifting their enormous trunk. Lily cursed. Hopefully, if anyone had noticed it, they would think she just charmed it to be weightless.

After stowing her trunk in the Head's Compartment, she decided that she should probably look in the mirror. She walked quickly towards the center of the train and entered the bathroom. Bracing herself she took a peek at the mirror. Lily felt her jaw drop open. There were gigantic circles under her eyes and she was even paler than before. Her face was gaunt and her eyes had a strange glaze to them even as she stared in astonishment and disgust at her reflection. She swallowed slowly and closed the bathroom door behind her. She moved closer to them mirror and looked closer at her appearance.

"_Oh God, no wonder people were staring! I look about as bad as I feel. I should have put foundation on my eyes,_ _at least."_

Lily had a whole stock of cover-up in one of the secret compartments in her trunk that she used when ever she got a bruise or a cut someplace on her body that couldn't be covered with cloth or if was too obvious. She used it both at school and around where she lived. She used it at school because teachers would probably confront her about it and ask her if she had been attacked or think her parents abused her. She also used it in her neighborhood because if you looked hurt, you looked vulnerable and Lily had had a lot of times where she had been attacked because she looked injured and unable to defend herself.

Suddenly, Lily was very dizzy and she couldn't see. The room became a vortex of blurry colours and it seemed that she couldn't get enough air into her lungs. She grabbed the edge of the sink wildly to steady herself. She stood there for awhile, just focusing on her heavy breathing. It seemed that there was nothing else in the world, but the herself, the sink, and the tile floor beneath her. Her sharp breaths echoed eerily around the room, causing a strange sensation to crawl down her spine.

After what seemed like an eternity, the feeling passed. She took a drink from the spigot and then checked her watch. Lily swore as she realized that there was a supposed to be a Prefects meeting in the Head's Compartment as soon as the train started. Ignoring the protests of her back, she straightened up and walked back to the Head's Compartment. She ignored the urge to hide as she walked past a few compartments and saw a few first years gawking at her. She hated this. This perpetual hiding. It would never end, she knew. She would be forced to keep secrets for the rest of her life. It wasn't fair. Not at all fair. Why did she always have to be the strange one? Why couldn't she just ever be normal? Why was she-No, she had to stop thinking like that. She had a good life compared to most people and she shouldn't be feeling sorry for herself. She had to look to the future because the past wouldn't change and couldn't help her.

With this thought in mind, Lily entered the Head's Compartment. There were already a few Prefects there, but they were so absorbed in their conversation that they didn't notice her enter the room.

"My God, did you see Evans? She looked horrible, I wonder what happened to her," one girl said, whose name Lily did not know.

"I know," said a boy Lily didn't know, " She looked like a bag of shite. Like she was starving."

"Well, now she looks about as rum as she actually is," said Sarah Quirke, a Ravenclaw Prefect. The boy gave a snort.

Lily chose this moment to clear her throat. They spun around and once they realized it was her turned bright red in embarrassment.

Lily would have liked to start a fight. She really would. She liked fighting because fighting was simple. You didn't have to think, just do. Fighting was one of the only simple things in her life, which was very ironic considering the fact that the results of fighting made her life complicated. But Lily didn't mind.

However, she couldn't start a fight, because she wasn't in the slums of London, but on a school train. She wasn't a nobody, but the Head Girl of Hogwarts. She had to set an example, not that people would do what she did anyway. She inwardly sighed and directed her attention back to the three Prefects who were looking around the room at anything but her.

"The meeting will begin as soon as all the Prefects get here," she told them shortly, and then sat down on one of the cushions.

Lily would never admit it but that last comment had hurt, badly. It was stupid, she knew. She had been called worse things than that, but no one from Hogwarts had ever said something like that, behind her back (that she knew of) or to her face. She had mostly been left alone her first few years at Hogwarts. But after third year, her classmates had gotten over their apprehension of her and picked on her the entire year. Lily didn't fight back, because if she did, she couldn't guarantee she could control herself. Fourth year was hell for her, mostly because of one James Potter.

Lily didn't really _hate_ James Potter. Lily only hated two people in the entire world. Potter was annoying and immature, but he must not have told anyone, otherwise someone would have contacted her by now. He was very talented, and she secretly thought it was very nice of him and Black to become friends with Lupin and Pettigrew, who were pretty much friendless in the beginning of the first year. James Potter was alright, she thought. He couldn't be that bad of a person.

During fifth year she had become a Prefect and they had been forced to leave her alone, something that Lily was very glad of. She was very surprised that Potter that had become Head Boy, but she had to admit that he did have the qualities of a leader. Unlike her. Lily had no experience in 'leading' unless you counted being a Prefect. Lily had grown up fighting for herself and only herself. She wasn't really sure why Dumbledore had picked her to be Head Girl, but she was glad to get out of her old dormitory of giggling girls. She was sure that the feeling was mutual. Being called 'rum' was probably one of the nicest things she had been ever called or thought of at Hogwarts.

"_Am I really that much of a freak?" _she thought halfheartedly.

"**Of course you are," **said a darker side of Lily**, "Who would want to be friends with a ****murderer**** anyway?"**

"_But, I-" _

"**You're worthless and you know it, why else would everyone hate you? Why would your-"**

"_Stop it! STOP IT!"_

"**-parents hit, kick, and call you names? Why would your own sister refuse to take you in? Eh? You can't answer, can you? Sometimes I wonder why you even keep living!"**

"_I don't."_

"**What?"**

"_I know why I keep living. I can't die. Not yet at least. I made a promise. A promise that I must keep. I swore-"_

"Umm…Evans, everyone is here except Potter and Lupin," said Martha Diggle, nervously, snapping Lily out of her reverie. She looked around the room to find that all the prefects were in fact present, except for Potter and Lupin.

"_Of course," _she thought,_ "They're probably off pranking some Slytherins." _

"I'll guess we'll have to start without them, then," she said, brushing her long hair back behind her ears. She suddenly felt apprehensive and cleared her throat.

"Well, since Potter is not here yet, I suppose I will have to make the introductions. For those of you who do not know me, my name is Lily Evans. I'll be the Head Girl for this year. The Head Boy is James Potter; however, he is…missing."

A few of the Prefects stifled sniggers. Lily raised her eyebrows at them until they regained their composure.

"For those of you who have been Prefects before this year, I won't bore you by explaining the rules again. I trust you can relay them to those who were not Prefects previously."

Lily was quite surprised to see that some of the Prefects looked relieved.

"Anyone who is having problems adjusting to your new duties, feel free to come to me."

"_I swore to protect them all." _

Lily opened her mouth again to continue when the door swung open, revealing James Potter and Remus Lupin, who looked like they had run a marathon.

"_Finally!" _Lily thought.

"You're late Potter, Lupin."

"Errr…Sorry Evans, lost track of time," said Potter with more normalcy than she expected. She diverted her attention to something else before her paranoia could kick in.

"Don't let it happen again," she said, but with less malice than she would have the previous year.

He looked at her as if he was about to say something, but changed his mind and sat down. Every nerve in Lily's body was tense and suddenly, she felt very nervous. What if Potter told? What if when she got to Hogwarts there would be Aurors and-

"Welcome, everyone, to a new year at Hogwarts," she said with a little more emotion than she usually did, forcing herself to calm done. She could worry when there wasn't a boatload of people in the room.

"_I swore, that no matter the cost…"_

"I'm sure this year will be a great year. Our first meeting will be…when do you think, Potter?" she said, wondering if Potter would be caught off guard.

"Maybe, once a week, every Thursday? That is if it doesn't interfere with Quidditch practice, of course," he said smoothly, "I think we'll have to contact the Quidditch Captains and take it up with them."

Lily nodded. It seemed that Dumbledore wasn't messing around with Muggle drugs when he picked Potter to be Head Boy.

"That sounds good to me, what about the rest of you?"

"…_I would fight."_

The rest of the Prefects murmured their agreement, though the Slytherins still looked unhappy that the Head Boy and Girl were both Gryffindors.

"Also, we'll have to organize patrols every night." Potter said unexpectedly.

"…_to protect all that is good…"_

"All right, they are twenty-four Prefects, plus Potter and I, so that makes twenty-six. We'll have four Prefects patrol a night, which means that sometimes two people will have to do it twice a week. So we'll have to alternate."

"…_in my life."_

"That sounds like a good idea," said Potter.

The rest of the prefects nodded in agreement.

"On the first meeting of the year, we'll decide the official schedule but until then…"

"_I swore, that no matter the cost, I would fight to protect all that is good in my life."_

Lily Evans smiled as she watched the Prefects leave to patrol the corridors.

"_And that is enough for me."_

"**Oh."**

**A/N: Okay, first things first. No, Lily does not have schizophrenia. The bolded font is when she's thinking differently than she usually does. It's a little like the her Id. **

**However, the bolded side of Lily sometimes just acts as a Devil's advocate of what Lily wants to do or believe. Again, please review, you have no idea how happy reviews make me. Unless they're flames, which make me laugh. Next chapter skips a few months and gets straight to the action! Many thanks to my awesome beta. **


	5. Fractured Normalcy

Chapter Five-

Things had been as usual at Hogwarts, except for the fact that the seventh years were getting so much homework that the Marauders hardly had time to pull pranks. The Prefect meetings went very smoothly, and Lily found that Potter, when not with Black, wasn't too unpleasant to be around. He certainly made it easier for her especially when dealing with people. Lily had never been a very social person and she found it hard to relate to problems between two people or more that didn't involve violence. Potter seemed to understand this and took charge whenever he needed too. Lily wondered if he had always been like that and she had never noticed. Or maybe it was because of what happened during the summer.

Lily was sure now, that Potter hadn't told anyone. She had used Legilimency on him once when they were alone working on some things for the next meeting and had seen nothing. It was very strange that they were able to get along like this after so many years of being at odds with one another. Every time they were working alone on something, Lily wanted to ask him, why he didn't tell anyone? How could he just act like nothing had happened? She could never have done that. Just be at ease around someone like herself. At one point Lily had even wondered if he had been Obliviated, but that couldn't be because she had seen that certain memory in his head. It was kind of nice, though. Not hiding from at least one person in the world. But Lily could never tell how long it would last.

When she had said at the beginning of the year that Prefects could come to her if they had any problems, she hadn't really thought they would. But sure enough, on the third day of school she had two Ravenclaw Prefects complaining that the Slytherins were trying to boss them around. Lily had to be lenient, however. She couldn't help but feel some companionship with the Slytherins. After all, she had would've been in Slytherin if not for the fact that she was a Muggleborn. They were all a bit like her too. She wasn't like the rest of her house, who immediately deemed Slytherins evil and rivals for eternity. She knew that you couldn't just be born hating the world and all its inhabitants like most of the Slytherin house did. Something had to happen to you. And sure enough, each and every Slytherin had his of her own coming of age story. Whether it be being ignored and treated coldly for most of their life, or being put under the Cruciatus Curse to force them to become stronger.

It was strange to sympathize with them, because Lily knew that in the next year or so they would be on opposite sides of the war and she knew that she would rather kill them than let them live. It wasn't a nice feeling, but instead it made her feel old, much older than anyone should ever feel, much less a seventeen year old girl. However, she didn't have much time to reflect on the upcoming war because it was lingering on the horizon, coming closer at every moment. Right now all was peaceful, but Lily knew that it wouldn't last.

It was the calm before the storm, she was sure of it. Ever since the start of school, there had been no Death Eater attacks. Something very bad was about to happen, but Lily was the probably the only student who thought so. The rest of the students at Hogwarts were relieved at the lack of Death Eater actively and thought that maybe Voldemort had finally given up. Dumbledore, a few other teachers, and Lily, however, knew better. On Halloween, the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, it happened.

Lily liked Hogsmeade weekends. She disliked being in the castle for long periods of time and even Hogwarts' extensive grounds grew tiresome after a while. She usually spent most of her time studying in the Three Broomsticks or in a book store and this day was no different. She was walking to the Three Broomsticks after purchasing a book on ways to confuse your opponent while dueling, when she first heard the screams.

She instinctively spun around, her heart racing. She immediately spotted some Hogwarts students running and behind them…no, it was impossible. They couldn't be here. Not now.

Three Death Eaters raced towards the village. Four students, all of whom looked like third years ran as fast as they could, tears running down their cheeks. There was no time to think and Lily acted automatically.

Pulling out her black wand which she always carried with her, she yelled,_ "Avada Kedavra!"_

The Death Eater closest to the children fell with a flash of bright green light. Silence. The two remaining Death Eaters hesitated, as if afraid that someone held an even lesser value for human life than they did. The four students had stopped and were staring up at her, their mouths wide open. A woman with a toddler at her side stood frozen at the sight of a scene she would never have been prepared to see.

"_Accio daggers! __Accio sword!" _she said in a clear, even voice.

"What do you think you'r-" started one of the Death Eaters, but Lily made sure he never finished.

"_Incendio!" _she said emotionlessly, and he burst into flame; immediately silenced forever. She made a swift jab with her wand and the final Death Eater fell. His or her body shriveled into the size of small child.

Lily turned to the children who took a step away from her. Ignoring the horrible cold feeling in her stomach, Lily grabbed her weapons that had flown from the castle.

"Listen to me," she said carefully, "Hogsmeade is under attack. There are probably more Death Eaters. You need to warn the village and go back to the castle and warn Dumbledore. Do you understand me?"

The students stared at her as if she'd grown another head.

"Go," she whispered. They didn't move. "Listen to me!" she said loudly. They ran off in the opposite direction and the woman with the toddler followed them. Lily quickly cut her baggy pants into shorts, and transfigured one of the pants into a hair tie. Tying up her hair, she stuck one dagger in her belt and the other in the sheath on her upper arm.

"Evans…what?"

Turning around swiftly, she saw Potter, his friends, and what seemed like a bunch of Hogwarts students that always hung around the Three Broomsticks. They were staring open-mouthed at the bodies. Lily heard mummers rise in the crowd. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a girl shaking and start to whimper hysterically.

"Potter," she said calmly, "Get them out of here."

"Evans-" he said, looking at the Death Eaters and then her again, "What's going-"

"Death Eaters," she said shortly, "Go on now. Warn Dumbledore and send for help."

"Evans, you're not going to-"

"Go," she hissed, "There isn't much time!"

They were screams at the north end of the village and Lily smelled smoke. The group behind Potter was yelling; she could practically smell their fear. They were a sea of scared looking faces. All except Potter, who was still focused on her.

"Evans…"

"What?!" she said anxiously.

"B-Be careful."

"_Why would he care?"_

She stared at him, confused, trying to figure out something.

Suddenly, it was like she had been deaf and could hear again. The screams of the students behind Potter mingled with yells of the villagers and the smell of smoke and blood.

"Aren't I always? Go, now, " she said softly, so only he could hear her. He nodded. Lily turned around and as they ran past her into the Forbidden Forest she swore she hear him say something else, but that couldn't be, right?

"Hurry up, everyone!" she heard him shout, "Don't panic! Prefects, make sure no one gets left behind! Do you hear me!!"

There were multiple cracking noises as seven Death Eaters appeared. She swallowed a strange, but addicting feeling that she knew so well, blocked out her fear and slid into her fighting position.

"Alright," she said to herself. "Let's go,"

James' P.O.V

James slouched in his seat, as some random bird tried to flirt with him. Goddammit, he had _told_ Sirius that he didn't want him to set him up with someone. He didn't want a girlfriend right now. Though maybe it would take his mind off a few things he wanted to forget.

This year, so far, had been very strange. Unlike all the other years, where it was only himself, Sirius, Peter and Remus, there was now Evans. James had always been popular, but the only people he could call true friends would be the three other Marauders. He would never voice it, but in his opinion most of the rest of the school was too shallow and just plain stupid. But Evans…James just couldn't figure her out. In some ways he couldn't figure himself out either. Sure, she saved his life, but why was he covering up for her? Evans was dangerous. Too dangerous. James knew that people like her, even if they were on the side of the law, were usually locked up for being too brutal, too violent…but, she had been so _sad_. Evans had always been the emotionless, cold, and calm one. And seeing her so sad, James just couldn't bring himself to make her any sadder. Those Death Eaters would have murdered him and his parents, but instead she had saved them. She had killed them so they wouldn't kill more. That was how war was. And he knew that the sooner he got used to it the better.

"James? James? James!"

James blinked, taking in the dark haired girl in front on him, "Huh?"

"Oh, James, you were spacing out!" she said disapprovingly.

"Er…I'm sor-"

"Oh, don't worry! I forgive you!" she giggled, batting her eyelashes at him.

"_Bloody Sirius, this is all his fault." _

"Well, as I was saying, my old boyfriend Mark, once drank five Butterbeers in a row. Now, I told him, Mark, honey, you're going to get sick, but, no he just wouldn't listen to me. So anyway…

James tried his best to tune her out, and focused instead on the new waitress, who wore obnoxiously green high heeled shoes. He watched her with interest as she slid in between tables and spun around carry large trays of drinks. How did she do that? For Merlin's sake those heels must be at least eight centimeters high! He leaned forward as she lifted one foot to step over a stool.

"_She's going to fall. She's so going to fall!"_

However, the waitress did not fall. Instead she spun around on her heel and stepped over it with astonishing grace. James wondered if he should clap.

"How dare you!"

James turned in surprise, "Wh-What?"

"How dare you!" the girl in front of him repeated, furious, "You ask me out on a date and then look at other women?"

"_I did what?"_

"N-no, I wasn't…I mean, sure I was looking, but not like-" he started but she cut him off.

"Oh, I don't care anymore!" she snarled and ran off to another table to be comforted by her friends.

"_What was that all about?" _he thought staring after her, _"Oh, whatever, at least she's off my back." _

He stood up and was about to join Sirius, Remus, and Peter at their table when he heard the first screams. The entire place went silent. The waitress froze with one hand up in the air where she had been talking energetically to some customers. The grin slid from Sirius' face and an old wizard in the back of the room had looked up from his drink for the first time. Whispers permeated the room; everyone glancing nervously from the door to the windows.

More screams. James stood up suddenly and he wasn't the only one. He and the rest of the people in the place, mostly students, rushed out. James went to the left and turned the corner to see Evans, tying up her hair, three Death Eaters dead at her feet.

"Evans…what?" Bethany McDonald said, her eyes the size of dinner plates

Evans turned around and looked him directly in the eye.

"Potter, get them out of here."

James stared at her. She wasn't going to fight them all by herself, was she?

"Evans-" he said looking at the Death Eaters and then her again, "What's going-"

"Death Eaters. Go on now. Warn Dumbledore and send for help."

What was she thinking? This wasn't like last time where she knew how many Death Eaters there were. There could be hundreds for all she knew. He couldn't let her do this. She would be killed for sure.

"Evans, you're not going to-"

"Go," she whispered urgently, something that James couldn't identify flashing in her eyes, "There isn't much time!"

And, suddenly, he realized, as he stared into her determined eyes, nothing was going to dissuade her. In that moment James realized that Lily Evans, whether she would die or not, was not going to budge. He felt a strange sensation in his chest. He couldn't stop her. He couldn't _save _her.

"_Does she feel responsible for us?" _he thought.

"Prongs," whispered Sirius from his left, "We have to leave, let's go!"

James bit the inside of his lip. Alright, Padfoot. Alright, Evans. There was nothing he could do. If he didn't lead the hysterical students behind him to safety they would all be killed. He had to trust that Evans would hold them off.

_And come back alive. _

"Evans-" he started, making his decision.

"What?!" she said impatiently her looking behind him and around the edge of the village.

"B-be careful," he said, stumbling over his words.

Evans looked back at him with a very confused look on her face.

"Aren't I always?" she said finally, with a sad smile on her face, "Go, now!"

He nodded. Turing around, he yelled, "Hurry up, everyone! Don't panic! Prefects, make sure no one gets left behind! Do you hear me!!"

"Evans," he said in a low voice as he passed her, "Please, don't die."

There were seven cracking noises and looking back, he saw the forms of several Death Eaters. He turned away, focusing on the task at hand; not wanting to see the carnage that was about to take place.

"Sirius!" he yelled over the din of terrified students and villagers, "Take Peter and guard the back! Remus come here and help me at the front."

They reached the edge of the forest and James crashed into the shrubbery. He hopped over dead trees and fallen branches, Remus panting at his side.

"_Blast," _thought James, _" We're not going fast enough!"_

"Hurry up!" he shouted, "We've got to get back to the castle!"

A third year tripped over a protruding rock and James grabbed him and set him right. They crashed through the forest, tree branches whipping at their faces and James thanked Merlin that he knew the forest so well.

"Just a little bit further!" he hollered, "Just a little bit further, and we'll be inside the castle grounds!!"

And they ran. James remembered the last time Death Eaters had attacked and how terrified he had been. For some reason he didn't feel as afraid as he had been that time. He felt adrenaline running through his veins causing him to run faster and to yell louder. They were so close and that thought alone gave James the strength to continue. After all, once a mouth he ran around with a werewolf. He could do this. He wasn't afraid. They ran around huge dead tree that had fallen and split another tree in two and James new they were almost there. They reached a clearing and James froze, causing Remus to run into him from behind.

"Prongs? What's the-oh Merlin," Remus breathed.

More than ten Death Eaters stood in the clearing before them.

"Hmmm…you must be students from Hogwarts," a woman said happily, "Don't you know that this forest is forbidden? Tut, tut, tut, I'll have to punish you."

James went for his wand, but the Death Eater was faster.

"_Avada Kedavra!"_ she yelled.

Time froze. The neon green curse seemed to travel slowly through the air. He tried to move, but couldn't. His limbs felt like lead from all the running he had done and he was so very tired.

"_Is this the end?" _he thought feebly. _"Evans-"_

**A/N: This is the first chapter that I've actually moved the content around, so for those of you who read this before I revised it, tell me what you think. No really, tell me. Thanks again to my awesome beta, because otherwise my grammar would be so bad you could hardly read it. I have a few more chapter done, but I want reviews before I post them. So review! **


	6. Blood And Gore

Chapter Six-

Lily's P.O.V.

She threw herself at the surprised Death Eaters, no longer thinking of the consequences. It scared her sometimes; how easily she was able to kill, to murder. She threw a dagger, pinning a Death Eater to the wall of the Three Broomstick.

While slicing another's head off with her sword, she shouted,_ "Glacio!"_

A Death Eater froze, his entire body frozen to the core.

_She was barely ten when she killed her first person. It could have been younger though, because Lily really didn't remember much before then. Not that she wanted to. By the time she was ten she was smart enough to carry around a knife and it had been useful when she was attacked. Lily was used to being stalked by barmy old men that lived around her neighborhood, however, it was the first time she had been cornered. It was only when the man had her pinned against the wall when Lily became afraid. It was fear that made her a murderer. She pulled out her knife and before he could even move, she had lodged it deep in his chest. He had sunk to the ground and Lily had watched him as he died. She didn't know how long she had stood there, staring at his corpse, but suddenly she realized that she had blood on her hands. And seven years later, it was still there._

Ducking a Stunner, she spotted a small girl, about four or five years of age huddled against the wall of a wrecked house. Her clothes were torn and sooty and she was cradling a bloody arm. She was staring with wide eyes at the carnage and Lily wanted to tell her to look away. She shouldn't be seeing this. It wasn't fair to herself or the girl.

_After the first few times, killing became methodical. It would be a lie to say that Lily didn't enjoy fighting, but she had never enjoyed killing. However, there was a difference between wanting and enjoying. She wanted Death Eaters to die. And they did. _

"_Damn, if the Death Eaters see her…" _

Casting a quick Slicing Hex and slashing another Death Eater, she ran over to the ruined building. She heard an innumerable number of piercing cracks and suddenly, she felt her side split open. Dodging to the side she saw another hex fly past her face. Sinking to the ground, barely conscious, she dimly saw a new legion of Death Eaters surround her.

"_No! I can't let them get me!"_

_Lily sometimes wondered what would happen when she died. She wasn't a religious person, but if there was a hell, that was where she'd definitely go. The only solace she got in killing was that the person always attacked her or some other person first. Not the other way around. But even then the guilt would never leave her. _

Lily tried to raise her head but, her body wouldn't move. Suddenly, the horrible pain in her side increased and she screamed. It wasn't until a few seconds later that she realized that a Death Eater had kicked her. They were saying things, but Lily was in too much pain to comprehend them.

"_This is the end, isn't it?" _she thought, _"I failed to protect that girl, but at least most of the Hogwarts students got away."_

_When Lily had first come to Hogwarts she was confused. All her life she had been surrounded by hateful, greedy, sadistic people. She hadn't expected Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to be any different. But it had. She had been confused because she didn't understand why they were so nice. Why they seemed to care. At first she denied it, but she could find no gain in it for them. In the end she just accepted it. These strange people cared about her. Whenever people said care, they usually meant it in the context of friends or family. But really, it was a much broader word than that. To Lily, caring meant not wishing harm upon. Caring meant staring at her when she was hurt and feeling sorry for. Caring was so many things and it was the first feeling Lily had associated with the word 'good.' It took her three years at Hogwarts to realize that the people who attended or worked at the school were good. And because they were so unlike her, she swore to protect them. She swore to protect them all, whether they liked it or not. _

"…n't hur…he…!"

A high voice. Not a Death Eater's. Lily moved her head slightly and then raised it. The girl had raised herself into a standing position, her small fists clenched tightly at her sides. There were tears on her cheeks, but her face was determined.

"I said, don't hurt her!!" she yelled at the Death Eaters who were all staring at her. She was shaking and in her eyes Lily saw her innocence and how it had been destroyed.

"_Run away," _Lily thought,_ "I don't matter, run away!" _

One of the Death Eaters laughed cruelly and pointed his wand at her.

"_Oh no, please no!"_

"_Crucio!"_

_Pain, to Lily, was a necessary part of life. In order for you to become stronger, you needed to know pain. And that's why Lily was so strong. It was because she'd been through it all before and everyone knows that the first time is always worse than the second. She could deal with torture and loneliness and depression. But seeing someone else experience was a whole different matter. Lily didn't believe that you could just be born a certain way. Every single thing you were came from your experiences in life, and if torture and loneliness and depression made Lily Evans, then it was her duty to prevent anyone else in the entire world from experiencing it. After all, one Lily Evans was enough. _

"No…" Lily whispered as the little girl writhed pitifully on the ground, shrieking with pain, "…No, please…"

Memories came back to her. The memories that she had been so desperately trying to forget: her father standing over her with a belt, her mother slapping her, a blonde, horse-faced woman throwing her out into the rain. And suddenly she was very angry.

_She was always angry, she reflected. Always angry or sad. Lily couldn't remember any other time. She wondered if her entire life would be like this and she was shocked to find that she wouldn't mind so much. It was that thought alone that made her even more sad. It was because, now she didn't even have the will power to wish for better times. When she was younger, she had promised herself than she would live her life to the fullest. She would live to prove them wrong. To show them that she wasn't worthless. But sometimes, Lily wondered if even living to the fullest was too much to ask. _

"_I can't die, I have to fight! ! I can't protect them if I can't fight! I have to fight! I swore…I swore…even if I have to die…I will protect…I swore…I swore I'd protect them all!"_

She picked up her sword, adrenaline pumping in her veins, she ran to the Death Eater who was torturing the girl.

"DIE!" she bellowed. "DIE NOW!! DIE!!" she slashed his head off, rage coursing through her veins.

"_DAMN THEM! DAMN THEM ALL!!"_

Grabbing both her wands she sent curse after curse at the masked figures.

"_Seco!"_

"_Sanguis Ulcus!"_

"_Flargo!"_

"_Evanesco!"_

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

"_AVADA KEDAVRA!!"_

_To tell the truth, Lily preferred killing with a wand rather than a sword or knife. Because when you killed someone with a wand it seemed so less real than with a Muggle weapon. Lily knew that it didn't really matter that much, because they ended up dead anyway, but she couldn't help what she liked and didn't like. And that was okay. _

The mist cleared to reveal the decimated ranks of the Death Eaters, in the center stood Lily Evans. Limping painfully, she moved over to the girl, who shrank back in terror.

"N-no, please don't hurt me!" she whimpered, edging back from the blood covered girl, "please…" Lily froze.

"**Monster,"** whispered the voice, **"You're a monster." **

"I won't hurt you," she whispered to the girl, "I'm here to help you."

The girl still shrunk further back, wringing her hands. Lily inched closer to the girl and took her up in her arms. The girl was frozen in fear and couldn't seem to move.

_Contact between people was a complicated thing. Even at a young age, Lily had feared and hated human contact. However, she knew that most children found it soothing to be taken into a person's arm. She never understood it at all. She didn't understand the craziness that possessed most of the students of Hogwarts regarding the opposite (or sometimes the same) sex. There was a time when Lily had wondered if she was stranger than she already was for not being interested in boys or even girls. But she had come to the terms with the fact that it was just the way she was, relatively quickly. _

"Shhh," soothed Lily, "it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

The girl started to tremble so violently that Lily thought she was trying to escape. Instead, she burst into tears. She clutched Lily tight, huge tears rolling down her small face. Lily felt something burn at her eyes and she blinked to get rid of the strange feeling.

"Shh, it's okay, you'll be okay," she said gently, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling she got when she touched someone for an extended period of time.

She stood up painfully, still holding the girl and was about to see what happened to the rest of the village and check for survivors, when the ring on her finger began to glow.

"No, more of them?" she whispered disbelievingly, "Oh God…"

The small girl lifted her head up, "What?"

Lily looked down at the small girl, weighing her options carefully. She couldn't bring the girl with her, but she couldn't just leave her there.

"Where are your parents?" she asked, stalling.

"I don't know," the girl whispered, "It happened so fast and I can't even-" the girl started sobbing again and Lily rubbed circles on her back.

"Listen, there are more of those bad men out there," she said carefully, but the small girl froze in fear despite her efforts, "I have to go stop them. I want you to stay right here, do you understand me?"

Yes," said the little girl, "My name's Heather. What's yours?"

_There was a point in Lily's life when she had forgotten her name. Lily wasn't exactly sure of her age during that time, however she knew it was around her sixth or seventh year of age. It was those years that Lily was constantly remembering and forgetting when she was older, though she'd rather have forgotten them completely. She was only reminded when she saw a woman selling lilies on a street corner. To tell the truth, Lily had no idea why she was named Lily. Lilies were beautiful and delicate, only growing in certain conditions. However, something that struck Lily as ironic was the fact that lilies grew well only in the shade, never in complete sunlight. _

Lily was baffled. She did not understand why, in the middle of an attack on her hometown where she wasn't sure if her family was even alive, the little girl would ask her name. But then again, nothing made sense any more.

"My name is Lily," she said gently, "Now listen to me, I want you to hide in that building over there. If anyone comes, don't make a sound, and if _they_ catch you, scream my name as loud as you can, okay?" The girl nodded slowly. Lily put her down and pushed her gently toward the wreck of the Three Broomsticks. Lily picked up both daggers and sword, wincing slightly and put them in their proper places.

"Lily?" called the girl timidly, "B-be careful.

"_That's the second time someone has said that to me today," _thought Lily

She smiled back at her, "Sure."

_Words, Lily knew, were meaningless. She had learned very quickly that words were deceiving and you could never trust them or the people who said them so much. Words were a device that people used to communicate their thoughts, but they were rarely used that way. No one actually said what they meant because saying what you thought was dangerous. Saying what you thought meant that you were vulnerable to attack and ridicule. Because if you said what you didn't mean and were mocked for it, it really didn't matter that much as it wasn't what you really thought in the first place. Actions were like words, but it was harder to do what you didn't feel so they were much safer. You could tell most people's emotions from their actions and body language. The people that you couldn't were the most dangerous of all because they were like her. All in all, Lily avoided using words, because they were useless things and she was better at acting than talking anyway. _

Her body burning all over, she set off at a run.

"_I have to get those Death Eaters quick or my body won't hold up…"_

Her ring showed that the Death Eaters were in the direction of the Forbidden Forest. She cursed Potter for his stupidity. The Forest was perfect for an ambush, though she could understand why he had chosen it. With all his escapades, he probably knew his way around pretty well. She reached the edge of the village when she got a stitch in her side and was forced to stop and catch her breath. She forced herself to keep going and entered the forest at a limp. Lily pushed aside tree branches and stumbled over roots. She didn't even have to look at her ring now, because the tracks of at least fifty people running at full speed guided her. Her mind was strangely blank and she couldn't really think of anything except that she had to keep going.

Lily fervently hoped that Dumbledore and the rest of the Order of the Phoenix had arrived in Hogsmeade by now, because there was sure to be more Death Eaters than just in the Forest and she could do nothing if they attacked villagers and students who weren't in the Three Broomsticks; though it was unlikely that there were many that had been out of the pub as it was below freezing.

She suddenly heard yells ahead of her and with the last of her strength she ran around a particularity thick clump of bushes and stumbled onto Potter, the students, and the few adults that had been in the Three Broomsticks or around the neighborhood at the time of the attack. They had been cornered by Death Eaters and Potter's jumper was torn in two places and he was bleeding profusely.

Two students lay on the ground surrounded by their friends. One look at them told Lily they would never rise again. Potter and Black stood in front of the mass of people and Lily felt disgusted that none of the over-age adults were attempting to fight the Death Eaters.

"Give up," jeered a woman Death Eater, "There's no way you can possibly escape."

"Never," Black and Potter said at the simultaneously and Lily knew if it had been any other situation they both would've grinned and given each other high-fives. Lily stepped out into the clearing from behind the Death Eaters and cleared her throat.

Fourteen cloaked figures spun around and Lily could bet that the twenty-eight eyes behind the masks were as wide as dinner plates as they took in her appearance. Lily didn't blame them. After all, her clothes had been stained almost completely red by their comrades' blood. The rest was hers. The hairs on the back of her neck were erect and Lily readied herself for a gruesome fight. She focused on ignoring the fact that there were nearly fifty people behind the Death Eaters watching. She would think about them later.

"Who are you?" asked a male Death Eater who's oily voice Lily despised, "You're not a student."

_People were strange creatures. There were so intelligent yet so stupid at the same time. They themselves could do the most horrible things and yet still have standards of what was right and wrong. Death Eaters were like that, but the rest of the world was too. People loved to make things simple and Death Eaters and their philosophy were examples of that. They killed Muggles and Muggleborns because they made life too complicated. They were sick of hiding behind a façade of a 'normal' person when in the Muggle world so they deemed Muggles and anyone who cooperated with them 'bad' and themselves good. It was just like a person discovering that a mass murderer who slaughtered people indiscriminately was a loving parent and spouse. It made things so much more complicated because people had to think. And no one wanted to think anymore. The Death Eater with the oily voice didn't think it was possible for Lily to be a student because then he would have to think twice before ever thinking again about what a Hogwarts student was. Just by her blood covered appearance, he didn't believe her to be a student because the typical student wasn't capable of killing Death Eaters. And that made all the difference. _

Lily let out a harsh laugh, but gave no reply. She raised her wand.

"Stupefy!"

Lily raised her eyebrows in surprise as the Death Eater fell from a spell that was not her own. She looked past the line of Death Eaters to see a furious James Potter his wand glowing slightly to show that he had just cast a spell.

"Don't interfere," she told him, but it was already too late.

A Death Eater had turned on him and shot a spell into the group of tightly packed students. Potter managed to duck the spell, but the person behind him fell to the floor screaming. Fury coursed through Lily's veins and without even being aware of it she raised her wand higher above her head and yelled out an incantation.

"_Reducto!"_

Lily reflected later, that this probably wasn't the smartest thing she could have done, but it wasn't like she could undo it.

The Death Eater froze and, in what seemed like slow-motion, spilt in half, covering his comrades with his blood and insides. Lily heard a retching noise and she faltered. She forced herself to not look towards her fellow students and gripped her wand tightly.

"Alright," she snarled, "whose next?"

**A/N: So, here's chapter six. I hope this explained more about why Lily is who she is. I know some people have been asking me to hurry the story up, and I don't want to rush it, but I'll try to write it a little more fast paced. The Italics part was completely new, so tell me what you think about it. I've already finished the next chapter so I hope that will be out soon! And many thanks to my awesome beta! My grammar would be so horrible without her! Now you can review. **


	7. Blood And Gore II

Chapter Seven-

James P.O.V.

Her words echoed ominously around the clearing, though James barely heard them. Like the rest of the students, he was focused on the fallen Death Eater. A part of James was angry at himself. This wasn't the first time he had seen a dead person. He should be used to it by now! Why did he feel so sickened? He tore his eyes away from the Death Eater, or the remains of the Death Eater and looked up to see the rest of the Death Eaters staring down at their fallen companion. James wondered if they were just as sickened as he was.

"No takers?" Evans asked them. "Why am I not surprised? Typical Death Eaters."

Evans words jolted James back to his senses. As he raised his wand, he suddenly found himself wishing that he could do what Evans did. It wasn't that he wanted to kill somebody, but instead, he wanted to do something that mattered. Ever since the incident in August, James realized how utterly useless he was. It wasn't that he wasn't good at magic, he was _very _good at it if he did say so himself, but he never used it for anything really important. Ever since he was a child he had loved to pull pranks and it was no different as a teenager. Now, he was tired of being worthless; this time, he was definitely going to do something. Evans had said, "don't interfere", but he wasn't going to just stand there and let her take all the risks.

"_Petrificus Totalus!" _he shouted.

The shocked Death Eater had no time to react. Two down, twelve to go.

"You little-" snarled the short male Death Eater and went for his wand.

"_Avada Kedavra!" _Evans shouted and he went down as well.

"_Stupefy!"_ Remus yelled from his left and suddenly curses and hexes filled the air.

"PETER!!" James yelled over the din, "Take the rest of the students and go! I'll cover you!"

"OKAY!" Peter yelled, "BE CAREFUL!!"

"_Impedimenta!" _Sirius yelled hoarsely, sending a Death Eater flying into a large tree trunk.

James heard screams and saw a sixth year boy, whose name he didn't know, screaming and writhing on the ground. A sudden anger filled him and for the first time in his life he wanted to seriously hurt someone. The Death Eater who was torturing the boy was laughing loudly and James felt the sudden urge to make him scream. To make him beg for mercy and hurt him as much as he was hurting his victim. James raised his wand, but his vengeance was stolen from him as the Death Eater suddenly looked down and saw a piece of metal lodged deeply in his heart. He collapsed and James saw Lily Evans behind him, the same furious look on her face that he had saw three months ago. Now there were only two Death Eaters left and they were both taken down by two bolts of bright light, one red and one green. There were only a few students left now, the rest had gone with Peter, and James was glad because he thought the less people who saw the bloodshed before them the better. He turned tiredly and saw Evans on her knees, shaking slightly and grasping the ground tightly.

"Evans?" he called and ran to her side.

Once he got closer he saw that her jumper had been completely torn to pieces on her back and her upper body was almost completely covered in blood, hers or the Death Eaters, James couldn't tell.

"Evans," he said carefully crouching down next to her, peering into her face. "Hey, Evans are you alright?"

James mentally kicked himself. Did she look alright?

"I…" Evans started, though her eyes were closed and she was breathing heavily, "I'm…fine," she managed to gasp out.

James frowned, who did she think she was kidding? His train of thought was delayed as Evans attempted to push herself up from the ground.

"Hey, hey, Evans! What do you think you're doing? Hey, Evans, hey!" He almost put his hands on her shoulders to push her back down, but stopped himself just in time. "C'mon, Evans, just wait until Dumbledore gets here…" James pleaded with her, but it wasn't any use.

He looked around helplessly at the remaining students around him, but not even Sirius or Remus stepped foreword to help him. He was about to snap at them, when the air was suddenly filled with cracking noises. James spun around, a horrible feeling rising in his chest. Fifteen figures in black surrounded them. The students instinctually crowded into the middle, their backs to each other, wands out. James gripped his wand tightly and was preparing to cast the first spell when the realization hit him. He turned his head slightly, deaf to the jeers and yells that came from the Death Eaters, and looked down at the shaking form of Evans.

This time she couldn't help them. James felt fear well up in his injured chest and he found that he couldn't look away. The danger of the situation seemed to have finally hit him and he was reduced to a shaking mess. In spite at it all he was yet again angry at himself. These were just another slew of Death Eaters, no different than the last. They had defeated the last. Why couldn't he do it now? He didn't need Evans to fight, did he? Sure Evans had helped them, but it was him who stupefied four Death Eaters and it was him who ducked the Killing Curse at the last second. He could do this! He glanced at the Death Eaters and then back at Evans again. She had saved his life so many times, and now it was time for him to repay her.

"Oh, what the hell," James whispered, _"Stupefy!"_

"_Protego!" _yelled a Death Eater and the spell was reflected and hit a tree. James cursed, but had no time to fire another spell because a jet of green light was headed his way. As James dodged it he thanked Merlin for Quidditch practice.

"_Expelliarmus_!" cried Remus and Sirius at the same time, and the combined force of their spells sent a Death Eater straight through a tree.James saw a rabbit hopping around madly and it took a second to realize that someone had transfigured a Death Eater into a rabbit. He stared for a second.

"_Avada Kedavra!" _

A green light split the air and a girl James had known since third year fell to the ground. James froze in horror as did the rest of the students around him.

"Drop your wands," a Death Eater demanded, "And we'll spare your lives."

James let out an uncharacteristic laugh, "Yeah, right," he growled, not really thinking about what he was saying. His mind was still on the fallen girl.

"Sh…it," said a voice from behind him, "Fucking…bastar…ds!"

James looked around in surprise to see Evans, halfway on her feet, a flexible blood covered sword clasped in her hand.

"Evans," he said, "You shouldn't mo-"

"Stand back."

Suddenly a huge amount of power filled the air. James felt himself thrown backwards into the mass of students. Lily Evans stood up. The blood seemed to stop flowing and she seemed to be no longer suffering from her wounds. All of the sudden James heard voices around him.

"…_stupid brat."_

"_You'll never amount to anything you little slut!"_

"_Go out and die, freak!" _

"_How dare you, you little bitch, you think you're better than me, huh?"_

"_I never want to see you again, you disgust me!" _

"_Monster! Murderer!" _

" _You don't deserve to be happy, you killer!"_

"_Who would want you anyway, you worthless piece of shit! Why don't you just die and rid this world of your presence. It's not like anyone would care." _

Evans' eyes snapped open. The surge of power increased. James felt himself being pushed farther and farther away from her. She crossed two wands, one James recognized and one that he didn't. She held them in front of her blood covered chest.. Abruptly, James felt a huge sense of foreboding.

"_What is she-"_

The Death Eaters start to back away from her, stumbling on the hems of their long black robes.

"OH, NO YOU DON'T!!" Evans roared; the first time James had ever heard her raise her voice. "YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR CROSSING SWORDS WITH THIS HOGWARTS STUDENT!!"

"AVADA," she screamed, the tips of her wands lighting up, "KEDAVRA!"

A huge ball of bright green light erupted from her wands. As fast as lightning, it shot over to the remaining Death Eaters. There was a tremendous crash. Entire trees were bowled over James felt his shoulder rip open. The dust cleared to reveal the decimated clearing and the remains of the Death Eaters.

James looked away disgusted and stared down at the blood seeping through his clothes from his chest and shoulder. He gritted his teeth and looked around Remus lay on the ground, moaning, his leg lying at a strange angle. Alex Ackerley held a bloody arm and Sirius was a few meters away a dent in a tree where his back had collided with it. James sank to the ground, still staring at the bloody mess his shoulder had become. But none of their injures were anything compared to Evans'. Her body was covered from head to toe, in huge scratches. Her hair fell out of its bun, immediately sticking to the blood on her face. She leaned on her sword for support, blood leaking out of her mouth.

"Miss Evans!"

James moved his head slowly to the left. There stood Dumbledore and most of the faculty of Hogwarts. By the sickened looks on their faces James could tell they had seen what had just happened.

Evans turned her blood-stained face towards the teachers, " Heh…just in time…" she choked.

Her hair billowed out as she fell to the blood covered ground. He stared at her prostrated body, talking in the fact that her hair was the same color as her blood and how it soaked the ground around her and contrasted greatly to her pale skin. It was almost beautiful, he thought dazedly. But it was sadder than anything else. He supposed that was why Evans had always had his attention, even before the incident in August. Maybe he hadn't consciously noticed it, but there was something to be said about how it was always him who started fights with Evans. Maybe it was because he had always _known_ that she was so sad, but had never been able to pinpoint it before. James stumbled to his feet, clutching his wounded shoulder.

"Potter!" called McGonagall, hurrying over to him.

"I-I'm fine," he said, his body shaking uncontrollably, "W-What about the others?"

"The others are fine," whispered McGonagall, as if her tone of voice made a difference, " The Aurors are fighting the rest of the Death Eaters in Hogsmeade now. Now, you're hurt very badly, we need to take you b-"

"I'm hurt very badly?!" he stared at her incredulously, " Me?!"

"Potter-" she started.

Suddenly James was furious without knowing why. He pointed at Evans' unattended body, his blood practically boiling.

"You think I'm hurt, look at Evans! If she doesn't get help soon she's going to die!!" he shook with anger, his voice rising with every word, "And here you are standing here worrying about me!!"

"Mr. Potter, Professor Dumbledore is going to help her-"

"Don't you understand?! She's going to die! She tried so hard to save us and… you're just…just…" he stopped at the confused expression on McGonagall's face.

She didn't understand, how could she not understand? James had understood the second he had heard those voices, the second he looked into her eyes. Evans was alone, all alone. He understood now, she had no one. All her life she had been put down, told she was worthless.

He knew now how she felt. She was strong, so strong. She had survived the loneliness, the streets, the Death Eaters, the memories. He stared miserably at her, as Dumbledore levitated her on to a stretcher.

He could never be that strong. He had seen through the emotionless façade, the cold expressions, the bitter words, and he knew that he could never have done what she had. Deep inside she was hurt, scared, too afraid to hope. Far away he heard McGonagall's voice calling him. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the red-haired girl on a stretcher. Her sad eyes told it all. No one had ever cared for her. No one. He sank to his knees. He cursed himself for not noticing before.

"_It was so obvious! The way she never received any mail, always stayed at Hogwarts for the holidays, was never seen with any relative, was always so sad…how could I have not have noticed?" _

He was dimly aware of his body being lifted onto a stretcher. A clamor of voices swirled around him. He could barely make out a voice calling his name, but he was too tired to answer. Finally succumbing to the darkness, he realized one thing: He alone understood why Lily Evans was Lily Evans.

Lily's P.O.V.

Lily Evans awoke four days later in the Hospital Wing. Without sitting up, she dimly surveyed her surroundings.

" _Well at least they didn't throw me in Azkaban right away," _she thought dully, _"Now to get out of here…" _

She gingerly tested her legs and checked for any injuries on her body. Stumbling over to Madame Pomfrey's office, she riffled through the cabinets for a while until she found her bloodless clothes, wands, sword and daggers.

Quickly changing back into her clothes from the strangely clean Hospital Wing pajamas, she ran through the events at Hogsmeade in her mind. What was she going to do now? There was no one in the room guarding her so it didn't look like she was going to be tried by law. Yet at least. Dumbledore was sure to 'talk' to her and Lily was debating whether she should wait around until he came to her, come to him, or get the hell out of here.

She sat down on the bed and stared out the window. It was a dreary day and by the position of the sun, or lack thereof, it was about 7:00 in the morning. Lily knew that Dumbledore probably had some device that kept her from leaving the castle, so getting the hell out of here was not going to work. She shivered as she thought about what would happen to her. If the Ministry found out, she would probably be sent to Azkaban. No! Lily thought vehemently, she'd rather die than go there.

She was distracted from her thoughts when she spotted a newspaper lying on a chair. Fearing the worst, she picked it up a began to read.

After she was done she let the paper fall onto her lap and frowned at it.

"_What? There's no mention of the attack! There is no way Dumbledore could keep it a secret, right?" _She flipped over the paper to scrutinize it more carefully.

"_How is this possible?" _she thought putting the paper back at its place on the chair, _"Wait the date! Maybe it's old!" _

She grabbed the paper again and found the date: November 3rd.

"_Meaning it's probably the 4__th__. Jesus, I've been out four days!" _

While she was messing around with the newspaper she didn't notice Madame Pomfrey enter the room.

"Miss Evans what do you think you're doing?!" the plump nurse scolded, "Get back in bed this instant!"

Lily jumped and whirled around at the sound of Madame Pomfrey's voice. She stood her ground and told Madame Pomfrey politely, but firmly, that she was fine and needed to catch up on school work.

"Miss Evans, you are not fully rested. The Headmaster has given me strict instructs not to let you out of the Hospital Wing until he has sorted a few things out!"

Lily was not surprised, she had expected something like this, but it didn't make her any less angry.

"Dumbledore said that, did he? Well I don't give a damn about Dumbledore! I have a lot of work to catch up on, so if you'll excuse me…" she rushed past Madame Pomfrey and out of the Hospital Wing.

"_How dare that bastard! Thinking he can control me, I'll show him!" _

While she was busy cursing Dumbledore, she didn't notice where she was going. And walked straight into the Great Hall.

"_Oh, shit."_

To tell the truth, Lily really had no idea what she was going to do. When she had told Madame Pomfrey the bad excuse about 'catching up on school work,' she hadn't really been thinking. Now she was in the Great Hall four days after having killed several Death Eaters right in front of most of the students and staff. Not good.

"_Oh, well. At least, I'm hungry."_

Bracing herself for the pointing, the whispers, and maybe even screams, she walked directly over to the Gryffindor Table and sat down as far away from Dumbledore as she could. The Hall fell silent. Ignoring the teachers and everyone else in the room's insistent stares, she quickly ate breakfast and left the Hall.

"_Well, that went relatively well," _she thought, _"Dumbledore wasn't there. I got food and nobody talked to me. Perfect." _

Her heart sunk at that, but she thought nothing of it. She made her way to her bedroom, intent on thinking the entire situation out, before doing anything else stupid. By the time she reached the Head's Room, she had already made four people run away from her, and was not happy at all.

"_Bloody Madame Pomfrey, bloody Dumbledore, bloody students, bloody Hogwarts, BLOODY HELL!" _

"Animus," she barked at the portrait in front of the Room, a man named Gulliver, who had a bad habit of trying to flirt with every female that walked by. However, at the moment the man looked scared out of his wits.

"_Odd," _she thought, _" Everyone in this castle knows what happened, but no one in the outside world does? What's going on? How the hell did Dumbledore pull this one off-" _she was unable to finish this thought as the portrait swung open. Lily walked through and collided with something hard.

Lily fell, hissing as her back came in contact with the hard stone floor.

"Evans?"

She looked up and saw Potter standing over her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking down concernedly at her.

Lily felt her face turn bright red. She jumped to her feet.

"Err…sorry about that, Potter!"

With that, she practically ran though the portrait hole and into her room. Sighing, she fell on her bed and grumbled into her bed clothes, "Nice going Evans."

Knowing if she lay on her bed any longer she would fall asleep, she picked herself up and tried to think of a way to make this work. There was no way she was going to let Dumbledore to stop her from graduating. She had to graduate. Everything was riding on that. If she didn't graduate she couldn't get a good job and without a good job, she couldn't get out of that hell-hole she called home. Checking her clock she found that classes started in ten minutes. Maybe, she could just go to class and see what she had missed. Dumbledore could wait, right? Besides, it wasn't like the teachers were going to try and stop her. Repairing her clothes the best she could, she slipped on her robes, ignoring her aching body. Suddenly, she realized her first class was Transfiguration, which was on the exact other end of the building.

"_Shit! I should have started out five minutes ago!"_

Grabbing her bag, she ran out of the Head's Room. Taking every shortcut she knew of would still take at least ten minutes. She ran up the stairs three at a time, and hurtled into the Transfiguration corridor. Pausing just before entering the classroom, she straightened her clothes. She walked into the room breathing heavily.

"S-sorry Professor," she gasped, "I-I lost track of time."

It wasn't until it was too late that she realized Dumbledore was standing directly behind her. Whirling around, she glared at him with her emerald eyes.

"Miss Evans," he said slowly, " I believe we need to talk."

She sighed inwardly, but kept her face impassive. Feeling the rest of the class's eyes on her, she held her head high and followed Dumbledore out of the room. Her idea of 'just going to class' seemed quite stupid now and Lily wondered why she had even attempted it in the first place.

They walked silently on the way to his office. After what seemed like eternity, they stopped at the stone gargoyle in front of Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore muttered the password and the gargoyle moved aside. They both stepped into his office and she walked up a set of revolving stairs. He settled down behind his desk covered in strange contraptions and turned his sky blue eyes on her.

"Sit down, Miss Evans," he said softly

She raised her eyebrows slightly and complied.

"Now, Miss Evans, I want you to start from the beginning."

They both knew he was not just talking about the incident four days ago. Lily sighed, knowing that it was unavoidable, and began to speak.

**A/N: This chapter was rushed a bit, but that's because I was sick when I edited it. Yeah, screw resting, I have to write fanfiction. Hopefully, I'll keep up this pace and be done soon. Keep reviewing! **


	8. Cause And Effect

Chapter Eight-

James' P.O.V. 

James had awoken two days before Lily had, and after being subjected to a thorough and slightly embarrassing check up he was allowed to go to class. Dumbledore had announced to the entire school that there was no point in trying to send letters because the school had temporally cut off all communication to the outside world in light of 'certain events.' Still, the entire school knew exactly what happened on Halloween. James had to restrain himself from pounding every single person who gossiped or spread rumors about Evans. No one had been allowed to see Evans except for some of the staff, so rumors ran around the school that she had died, had been sent to Azkaban, was in St. Mungo's, and even that she was a vampire. However, despite the rumors, the whole school was unusually quiet, everyone seemed to be waiting for Evans to wake up. Classes suddenly seemed very trivial, for James at least, he even fell asleep in Transfiguration, his best subject.

It gave a lot of time for him to think about the whole ideal though. James, as well as the rest of the school, knew that everything would be different from now on. It was like suddenly they had all realized that there was a war going on and they were in the middle of it. It was quite dumb if you thought about it, considering that the war had been going on before most of them were born. But now it seemed much more real, not just a headline in a paper. Already five students had been taken home by their parents, afraid of Evans or Death Eaters, James didn't know. The students that had nightmares about Death Eater weren't laughed at any more and a few students who were at Hogsmeade had to go to Madame Pomfrey for medicine because of the trauma. This annoyed James a bit. Sure, his appetite had gone down a bit and the sight of red made him think of blood, but he hadn't really been affected by it. Or had he? It wasn't like he hadn't seen blood before. His parents were Healers after all, and as a child he had spent a fair amount of time in the hospital waiting for them to get off duty. Maybe it had affected him and he just didn't realize it.

Peter was the only one of his friends who had seemed really shaken by it. Sirius would have made fun of him for it, but they all knew why Peter was the only one.

Remus was a werewolf and was used to seeing blood, though most of the time it was his own. Remus' family had also been attacked by Death Eaters and had barely gotten away right after Sirius told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow in sixth year. Sirius would have loved to blame Snape, but the committee from the Ministry that had reviewed the case had several 'former' Death Eaters on it.

James didn't know exactly what Sirius had been subjected to at his family's home, but Sirius had mentioned something about his Aunt or Great Aunt's love for Muggle hunting. The thought had made James' stomach turn and he had decided not to ask.

Then on November 4th, Evans woke up.

James had woken up around 7:30 and trudged down from his room and through the portrait hole. Usually, James didn't get up until almost ten minutes before classed started but ever since the 'incident' he had been having trouble sleeping. Something bumped into him sending him flying into the portrait of Gulliver who had been sleeping.

James looked down and saw Evans lying on the floor. Again she had huge bags under her eyes and was very pale, but she wasn't as thin as she was at the beginning of the school year.

"Evans?" he said cautiously.

She looked up and her eyes widened in recognition.

"Are you okay?" he said anxiously, looking down at her fragile state.

Suddenly she turned bright red and leapt to her feet.

"Err…" she stammered, "Sorry about that, Potter!"

With that she ran past him into the Head's Room. As she past James noticed something that had annoyed him about Evans since day one.

"_She's still taller than me?"_ he thought watching her climb the steps, enter her room, and close the door behind her.

James wasn't short. Not really. He was average height now, though he had been very short in previous years. Evans, however, towered over all the girls and most of the boys at Hogwarts. James had forever been irritated with that fact but now it seemed rather unimportant. Just like everything else. He shrugged his shoulders and stuck his head through the portrait hole wondering if she was okay, but then he realized he needed to eat breakfast because classes were starting soon. After all, she wouldn't have been let out of the Hospital Wing if she wasn't okay and she had enough on her plate already.

James briefly wondered what the teachers were going to do about the entire mess, but quickly abandoned the thought. He climbed down the marble staircase and entered the Great Hall. As soon as he opened the door, he realized something was wrong. The entire student body was whispering and talking in small groups glancing furtively at Dumbledore's place at the table at the front which was empty. The rest of the Marauders beckoned James to join them.

"What happened?" he whispered as soon as he sat down.

"Evans just came down here," Peter whispered back, "Dumbledore looked so mad."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?" Sirius asked darkly, " I mean, she did just cut a bunch of Death Eaters into pieces-" Suddenly he froze and stared straight at James.

"Prongs…"

"What?"

"You know during the summer when…" Sirius trailed off and then narrowed his eyes at James, "That was Evans, wasn't it?"

James froze and swallowed. Not good, "Wha-What are you talking about, Padfoot? he asked feigning confusion.

"Don't you even try it James," Sirius retorted, "I know you too well to fall for that."

James inwardly sighed and avoided Sirius's gaze. The cat was out of the bag now.

"If you don't mind me asking, what in Merlin's name are you two talking about?" asked Peter confusedly.

Remus however, had a shocked look on his face and had dropped his fork.

"W-wait? Are you saying that the person who saved you was Evans?" he demanded.

"What?" Peter said whirling around to look at Remus.

"Why in Merlin's name didn't you tell us?!" hissed Sirius looking furious.

James sighed, they knew so there was no point in hiding it now.

"I promised her I wouldn't tell," he said quietly, "She asked me not to, so I didn't."

"Why-"

"She saved my life, Padfoot!" he said, struggling to keep his voice low, trying to figure out why he was so mad, "Twice now! The very least I can do is keep her secret!"

There was an awkward silence as they took this all in.

"S-so you're parents don't know either?" asked Remus softly.

James nodded. Suddenly bell rang, and he jumped up and half-ran out of the Hall. By the time he reached the Transfiguration classroom he realized he hadn't eaten a thing. The rest of the class trickled into the room. Sirius, Peter, and Remus came and sat next to him. They messed around as usual, as if nothing had happened. Professor McGonagall walked in and started to teach something about Human Transfiguration. Five minutes later Lily Evans stumbled into the room, pale and breathing as if she had run the marathon.

"S-sorry Professor," she gasped, "I-I lost track of time."

Suddenly Dumbledore appeared out of thin air behind her. Her eyes widened and she whirled around.

"Miss Evans," he said, " I believe we need to talk."

Evans' face was completely emotionless as she turned and followed Dumbledore out the door.

As soon as Dumbledore and Evans left the room the class broke out in whispers. McGonagall did all she could to bring the class under control, but she could not stop the rumors that flew the second the seventh years left the classroom. The rest of the day seemed to snail by. There was no sign of Evans anywhere, or Dumbledore for that matter. James wondered, miserably, if Dumbledore had expelled her.

"_If he did, I want to see her one more time," _he thought dully during Charms, _"I have to thank her at the very least." _

At around three Evans entered Potions in the middle of the lesson, handed Professor Slughorn a note, and sat down at the back of the room. She made her potion quickly, beating the rest of the class by about five minutes. Slughorn did not complement her on her quickness and efficiency as he usually did, but gave her a small smile and motioned for her to go back to her seat. At the back of the room, Evans opened her bag and began working on an essay. When the bell rang, she was the first to leave the dungeon. She didn't appear at dinner until 8:30, when half the students were gone. The rest of his friends left to James dawdle and they went back to the Common Room ahead of him. After Evans sat down, James got out of his seat and made his way to the far end of the table.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" he asked before he even knew what he was doing.

She blinked her beautiful emerald eyes at him in surprise, and cautiously told him he could. James sat down and glanced nervously at Evans who seemed too be avoiding his gaze. Wait, was Evans…nervous? No way! Well, she wasn't exactly known for being social. What should he do to make her feel less apprehensive? His first instinct was to babble on about random things that came to mind, but he was pretty sure Evans wasn't interested in hearing all that. Anything involving Death Eaters was definitely off limits. That left…school? School. Okay, he could do that.

Lily's P.O.V.

Lily watched Dumbledore as he took her story in.

"So your sister abandoned you after your parents died."

Lily flinched at the reminder of her family, if you called them a family.

"Miss Evans you are in quite a predicament," said Dumbledore softly, "Once the Ministry finds out what occurred four days ago, they will surely try to pull you out of school."

Lily froze, her stomach suddenly cold.

"Professor, but isn't it only you who can expel me?" she asked desperately.

"Indeed," said Dumbledore, "Which reminds me, what am I to do with you?"

"I'll do detention for the entire year, or something! Just don't expel me!" she pleaded, the nasty voice at the back of her mind asking how she could ever think that doing _detention_ for a year could make up for what she had done..

"I have no intention of doing such a thing, Miss Evans. In fact, I really should be very grateful, as you did save a lot of innocent people and -ah- put several Death Eaters _out of commission_, " said Dumbledore.

"The Ministry won't see it that way, though," she said emotionlessly, though she felt more at ease as a result of his last statement.

"Of course. However, I might be able to _persuade_ them otherwise, providing, of course, that…" he trailed off, his blue eyes beginning to sparkle.

Her relief vanished and she narrowed her eyes slightly, _"He's up to something" _she thought.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked tersely

"Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix, Miss Evans?"

Lily walked down the hall after leaving Potions. Still slightly shaken after her encounter with Dumbledore, she headed down to a secluded corner of the Library and began to work on the homework assigned a few days ago. It wasn't until an hour later that she realized how hungry she was. While she gathered up her things she remembered the last time she had been down to the Great Hall and winced.

It would be worse tomorrow morning, she told her self, failing to make herself feel better. Dumbledore had told her that the castle would connect to the rest of the Wizarding World again the next morning and she was not looking forward to it. She couldn't really see how Dumbledore, no matter if he was the Headmaster of Hogwarts, could save her from the Ministry.

She rushed down to the Great Hall and sat down at the far side of the table. Planning on quickly eating her food, she didn't notice Potter walking towards her until he was almost a meter away. She tensed, not knowing what he wanted.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" he asked.

She stared at him surprise, _"Why would he want to sit by _me_?" _she thought.

"Err…okay," she said warily.

He piled some potatoes on to his plate and began to eat. Lily just stared at him.

"Doing homework before?" he asked suddenly, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Err…yeah," she said feeling her cheeks flush, " I'm really behind. And that huge Herbology essay doesn't help."

When he started blankly at her she added, " I'm horrible at Herbology."

"Really?" he asked, looking surprised, "I always got the impression that you were good at everything."

Surprising him and herself, she laughed, " Let's just say I have anything but a green thumb. The only reason I passed last year was because I knew the names of all the plants in our book. I definitely do not have a green thumb."

She didn't know why she was acting so carefree. She hadn't felt like this since…since…ever. But it felt good to be here just chatting with another person, almost like she was normal. For the first time in her life she forgot who she was, she was just a normal seventeen-year-old witch. By the end of dinner they were on first name terms. She hadn't realized how much fun James Potter was until now. As they walked up to the Head's room together they laughed and joked. She couldn't remember when she had laughed like this. It was refreshing, she felt like a huge burden had just been lifted off her shoulders. As she bid Potter James goodnight, she reflected that, maybe, it would be nice to have friends. If anyone would want to be her friend, anyway.

James' P.O.V.

James awoke early the next morning, feeling cheerful. He got dressed and went down to breakfast even earlier than Remus. He walked over to the Gryffindor House table, scanning it for Lily. After finding that she was not up yet, he grabbed some toast and started looking for the marmalade. He happened to glance at a newspaper someone had left on the table. He dropped his toast. Grabbing it, he started at the front page of the _Daily Prophet_.

Hogwarts student kills Death Eaters

On October 31st, witnesses say, almost 100 Death Eaters entered Hogsmeade with the intention of annihilating the village. They would have succeeded if it were not for the seventeen-year-old Head Girl, Lily Evans, who was in Hogsmeade, with the rest of her classmates, enjoying some free time. Evans was thought to be a normal witch her age, if not a little bit shy. She got perfect grades, was a prefect, and is currently Head Girl. She had a spotless record, until now.

It turns out that Lily Evans is a cold-blooded murderer. According to student and villager witnesses, Evans defeated the Death Eater invaders with two knifes, a sword and plenty of Dark Magic, including the Killing Curse.

"It was the scariest thing I've ever seen," Michael Branstone, a fourth-year Hogwarts student, wrote to his anxious parents "Evans just killed them all!"

Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, refused to comment, only saying that it was necessary to disconnect the school from the rest of the Wizarding World, so that he could sort a few things out.

When reporters attempted to contact Evans' parents, they discovered that Mark and Isabel Evans had died thirteen years before. Evans' only other living relative Petunia Evans-Dursley, while threatening to call Muggle "police-men," inadvertently told reporters that she had "thrown the little brat out years ago" and that she was probably dead.

"No one really liked Evans," says Bertha Jorkins, a former seventh year, "She always kept to herself."

After talking to Ministry officials, reporters found out that Dumbledore actually went to the Ministry to clear Evans' name. "He was very adamant that he alone would deal with Evans, and that the Ministry didn't need to be involved," says a ministry official, " I have a daughter going to Hogwarts and I'm sure other parents want answers as well!"

Other parents have also expressed their concerns about their children being around Evans.

"I have told my children at Hogwarts, to stay away from that murderer," says Benjamin Meadows, an Auror, "If Dumbledore doesn't expel her, at the very least, I will pull my children out of school."

However, Melissa Marchbanks, a sixth-year, says, "Evans saved us all that day. If she hadn't killed those Death Eaters they would have killed us, it's that simple."

Evans is clearly mentally unstable, and everyone at the Ministry hopes that Albus Dumbledore will remove this girl from Hogwarts, so she cannot harm anyone else.

"What Evans did was completely unacceptable. By killing those Death Eater she lowered herself to their level. She should be punished accordingly," says Cornelius Fudge, Junior Minister of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad, "If I were the Minister of Magic I would probably throw her straight into Azkaban."

If Albus Dumbledore does not choose to expel Lily Evans, the Ministry will get involved, and then justice will surely be done.

-Matthew Summers, _Daily Prophet_ reporter

James dropped into his seat.

"_Lily's sister threw her out? So that's why…"_

He scanned the Ravenclaw Table for Marchbanks. She was sitting all by herself, looking disgustedly at the paper. Then he noticed the other Gryffindor looking at him with distrust Remus and Peter entered the Great Hall. James motioned them over to him.

"What's up, Prongs?" said Peter," You look really stressed out."

"Read this," he said angrily, handing Remus the paper.

They both scanned it and Remus dropped it with a look of disgust on his face.

Peter said, "Well that explains a lot."

"Huh?" said Remus, staring at him.

"Well if Evans lived by herself, then she would know how to defend herself." he said, logically.

James nodded. Remus looked strangely resigned.

"Where's Padfoot?" said James, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Still sleeping," they both said simultaneously.

"Great. He's going to miss breakfast, and then complain about it all day," grumbled James, trying not to think about how the rest of the school would react when Evans came down, "I'm going to go get him, I'm done here anyway."

He gestured around the Hall at the gossiping students. Picking up the newspaper, he strode out of the Hall, aware of the distrustful looks he was getting. He walked up the marble staircase and through two shortcuts. Arriving at the portrait of the Fat Lady, he noticed that there was an unusual amount of people outside the portrait hole. In the middle of the circle of students stood Lily, with her usual unreadable expression on her face.

"You cow! You think you can just walk in here, huh?"

"_How dare you, you little bitch, you think you're better me, huh?"_

"As Head Girl, I can go where ever I want," Lily said coolly. She made to walk through the hole, but a tall boy with short blonde hair, tripped her. She fell straight on her stomach. The baggy sleeves of her long sleeved shirt rolled up her thin arm to reveal a huge old looking scar. The group surrounding her snickered unpleasantly. She jumped to her feet, struggling to keep a neutral expression.

"Why don't you just leave, you freak!"

"_Go out and die, freak!" _

"You murderer, you should be thrown into Azkaban!"

"_Monster! Murderer!" _

"You've got no future! You'll never amount to anything!"

"_You'll never amount to anything you little slut!"_

"Just go, you monster, no one likes you anyway!"

"_Who would want you anyway, you worthless piece of shit! Why don't you just die and rid this world of your presence. It's not like anyone would care." _

Lily was frozen as her tormenters continued to hurl insults at her. Her bright green eyes filled with a horrible sadness, that made James cringe. Her fists, balled at her sides, began to drip blood as she clenched them harder.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!!"

**A/N: Or maybe not the last update in a while. Oh well. This chapter was a bit of a filler, but it was needed to transition between chapter. Many thanks to Eveni, Violin, flower123, Gaialy, hawaiiangirl258, quiver, sweets555, Samhaim Girl, xX-Ashi-Xx, Muse Dae, gazingdreamer, Sonnish na mara, Becca, indescribablyBee, rawr, and my awesome beta swtaznhottiechik.**


	9. Back To Abnormal

Chapter Nine-

Lily's P.O.V. 

Lily woke up late. She jumped in the shower for five minutes and pulled on her clothes and robes quickly. She climbed down the stairs that led to room quickly and walked over to the other side of the room.

"James!" she called tentatively.

No answer.

"Hey, James, are you up there?"

_"Maybe, he went down to breakfast early." _

**"Or maybe he's trying to avoid you."**

_"Shut up!" _

**"Did you really think he wanted to be friends with you?"**

"Well he seemed t-" 

**"You're so naïve! Who would lik-"**

"_Maybe he's just in the Common Room" _she thought quickly, trying to distract the uncertainties that were running through her head.

She walked out the portrait hole and down a flight of stairs. A bunch of people were standing outside holding a newspaper and whispering together. She slid around them and was about to enter the Gryffindor Common Room when she heard her name.

"Hey, Evans!"

She whirled around to find that she was surrounded by the people who had been talking in front of the entrance.

"What do you think you're doing," said a girl with a hideous looking clip in her hair.

Lily raised her eyebrows at them, "Going into the Common Room," she replied evenly.

The people around her snickered.

"I don't think so," said a tall boy with blonde hair, whose name Lily did not know, "You're going to leave, now."

"I am, am I?" Lily said slightly sarcastically, "I don't think so. Now please move out of the way before I am forced to give you all detention."

This only made them more incensed.

You bitch! You think you can just walk in here, huh?" said Jennifer Tofty, a girl, who Lily noticed, dispassionately, had way too much make-up on.

"As Head Girl, I can go where ever I want," Lily said trying to keep calm. She tried to walk around them again, but the tall boy, tripped her. She dropped straight on her stomach. One of her sleeves rolled up, exposing a huge grotesque-looking scar. She scrambled to her feet, fury coursing in her veins.

"Why don't you just leave, freak!" yelled the girl with the ugly hair piece.

All the others started to join in. Lily clenched her fists at her sides, trying to keep calm.

"You murderer, you should be thrown into Azkaban!"

"_Breathe, Breathe, don't let them get to you."_

"You've got no future! You'll never amount to anything!"

"They don't understand, they don't know. It's okay, they're just innocent kids. Hopefully they'll never understand. Don't be mad at them. It's okay. Breathe, Breathe."

"Just go, you monster, no one likes you anyway!"

Her nails dug further into her palms and drew blood.

_"Stop it, STOP IT!! Please, please. Just don't, please. It hurts, you don't understand, please, stop. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Just stop, PLEASE!" _

"LEAVE HER ALONE!!"

Lily spun around to see a furious James Potter striding toward the group. They backed away slightly.

"What do you think your doing?" he hissed at them, shaking slightly with anger, "She saved your lives a few days ago, and this is how you repay her?!"

No one answered, the entire hall was completely silent. The students looked slightly abashed and frightened.

"Leave," said James, in the coldest voice Lily had ever heard him use, "before I completely lose my temper and curse you all."

They quickly walked down the hall and turned the corner, leaving Lily and James alone.

"Are you okay?" he asked finally.

She inwardly flushed at the kindness of his voice, and how she didn't deserve it.

"Er-yeah, thanks," she said gratefully.

He smiled slightly.

"Already ate breakfast?" she asked, wondering if that was where he was, and why she didn't check the Great Hall first.

"Yeah,…well sort of," he scowled, looking down at a newspaper in his hand.

"What's that?" she asked curiously, remembering the newspaper the group had been holding.

"Well-er- you know that the mail works again…"

"Oh…" said Lily, remembering what Dumbledore had told her, "I don't even want to know, do I?

"Yeah… you might not wanna go down there right now," he said scratching his head, "Why don't we go down to the kitchens? I haven't eaten yet either."

"The kitchens?" she asked, interested.

"Y-you've never been to the kitchens?" he gaped at her, " C'mon this way, you'll love it!"

It was strange, walking somewhere with someone. Most people wouldn't have thought anything of it, but it was strange for Lily. Most of her life she had been alone and now suddenly after all that time she was suddenly thrown into a world where there were people who acknowledged her existence. Sure, most people were now terrified of her, but at least it wasn't like she didn't exist. And she couldn't figure out James Potter. He had not only seen who she really was behind the façade once, but twice. Lily couldn't understand how he could stand to be even in the same room as her much less talk to her like everything was okay and normal when it really wasn't. Lily entertained the fact that maybe he was just in denial or this was just some stupid bet between him and his friends. She felt vulnerable and scared, but excited at the same time. She wasn't really sure if she wanted him to like her or not, because it was so much easier when you were alone, in that sense anyway. You didn't have to worry about anyone else than yourself and people were more like part of the scenery. They did things and you saw the things they did or heard the things they said, but they rarely effected you. All you had to do was to worry about the things that did and you were okay. She had a hard time understanding the simplest of relationships between people, and a part of her just wanted to sink back into her shell, to hide behind the walls she had spent years constructing. But she couldn't go back. She had already crossed the point of no return and there was nothing she could do about it. She was curious and she wanted to know what it was like to be friends with someone, to actually relate to them. She didn't really understand why she suddenly wanted this after so many years and maybe it was just because she was lonely and tired of hiding. Maybe this was a chance for things to get better and maybe this time she could be happy.

They stopped at a portrait of a bowl of fruit. When James reached out and tickled the pear, the portrait swung open to reveal a huge room, as big as the Great Hall. It was filled with pots, pans and other kitchen-related items. A bunch of House Elves rushed up to meet them.

"Master Potter, Master Potter, you're back!' they cried, "What would you and you're friend be liking today?"

Lily stared at them. She never seen a House Elf before, only pictures of them in books she had read. She had heard about them though, some of the richer students complained about their House Elves in a way that made Lily annoyed.

"Lily?"

"Er-sorry what did you say?" she said, shaking herself slightly

"What do you want to eat?"

Lily looked around the sparkling clean room, but she couldn't see any food.

"Uh- what do they have?" she asked politely.

James grinned, "Everything!" he said happily.

"Do you have strawberries and …grapefruit juice?"

James stared at her, " Any particular reason for getting those two?" he asked curiously.

"Never had either of them," she said uncomfortably, feeling as if she had done something wrong. Surprising her, he laughed.

"I don't know about grapefruit juice, but strawberries are great!"

"You've never tried grapefruit juice either?" she asked feeling a bit better.

"Nope, I'll suppose I'll have to get that too," he said cheerfully, " Can I get grape fruit juice as well and some waffles?" he asked the House Elves kindly.

"Coming right up, sir!" they squeaked, running off to a door on the side that Lily hadn't noticed.

James looked around the room with an air of someone who was completely comfortable with themselves and the situation they were in. Lily envied that. She always had the tendency to hunch over and hide her height. From a young age she had found out that it was better to be inconspicuous than stick out. The combination of bright red hair, intense green eyes, and her height had always made it hard for her, but somehow she survived.

James interrupted her thoughts by saying: "Hmm…they're taking longer than usual."

Lily immediately felt awkward. One of the few things she had heard about House Elves was that they considered it they're duty to get whatever their master wanted. She didn't want to be a bother and was just about to tell James that she didn't really need food and that she didn't want the House Elves to go overboard just to get her some juice and fruit, when they came.

Four House Elves appeared holding a tray with their breakfast on it. James picked up the tray and set it down on one of the counters. He handed Lily her bowl of strawberries and drink. Lily gingerly picked up one of the strawberries and looked at it carefully. She wondered why she had never tried one before. They were common enough. Maybe it was because the juice reminded her of blood. She waved away that though and put it in her mouth. She chewed it carefully and swallowed it. She wrinkled her nose at the intense taste. Not that it was bad, but it seemed to have so much more flavor than she expected it to have. Lily decided she liked them and picked up another.

"How are they?" James asked, spreading butter on his waffles.

"Weird," she said after a while, "Never ate anything like it. They're good though."

She leaned against the counter, feeling wonderful and she didn't even know why. The surreal-ness of the situation had seemed to disappear and Lily had suddenly realized what she was doing. She was in the kitchens, a place students were probably not allowed to go, leaning up against a counter, eating strawberries and having a conversation, a real conversation, with James Potter. She bit back a smile and picked up another strawberry. Maybe, this time, everything would be okay.

"So," said James suddenly, "What did you do this sum-" he stopped, "That's not exactly a good conversation starter, is it? he said, grinning awkwardly.

Lily felt cold, the previous high she had been gone. Was he making fun of her? No, that couldn't be right.

"Not much," she said coldly, "Just stayed at home."

"Yeah, after Sirius left it got pretty boring around my house," said James, acting if he hadn't said anything weird, "Where do you live, Lily?"

She inwardly frowned. How could he say stuff like that, stuff that hurt, but then say a few words that made her forget what he had said in the first place? She supposed she would never understand him.

Lily blushed, feeling slightly inadequate, "Err-well it's just this old building…" she struggled with her words trying to find something more interesting to say, "Actually I'm pretty lucky now, before I bought my second wand people kept breaking in."

"Second wand?" James asked, interested.

"Yeah, I bought another wand otherwise the Ministry would be swooping down on me, because I use so much illegal magic. They can tell if wizards or witches use Dark Magic. So I bought one in Knockturn Alley when I was thirteen," she said, glad to have something to talk about.

James' brow furrowed, "Knockturn Alley?" he questioned

Lily bit her lip slightly, _"Oh great, now I'm scaring him. Bugger!" _

"Yeah, all the wands you can buy in Diagon Alley have a tracking charm on them, it's required by the Ministry. I also get books on magic there."

"Why do you use Dark Magic?" he asked, but it wasn't an accusation, he was just curious.

"I-it's hard to explain," she stumbled over her words, feeling scared of frightening him away, "When I first bought a book on Dark Magic, I only bought it to see what spells Death Eaters might throw at me, but then I found out that Dark Magic isn't really evil unless it's cast with an evil intent. "Dark Magic" doesn't really exist, only magic cast to cause pain and death for no reason. If I used even a simple spell like the Levitating Charm to do horrific things for fun, it would be "Dark Magic. The magic I use is only when necessary. Still I hate it," she stared down at her hands, "I hate the way I am, the monster that…" she swallowed and shut her eyes for a second. "C-can I ask you a question?" she asked uncertainly.

"Sure," he said.

"H-how can you stand to be around me? Why would you want to be around me? Do you know what I am? A murderer, a monster!" she looked straight into his hazel eyes, "No one else wants to be around me. Why would you?"

James scratched his messy hair slightly, as if pondering his answer.

Finally he said: "I don't really know."

She gaped at him.

" I mean, I can kinda see where you're coming from," he continued, "besides you're not a monster."

_"What? How can he think that?"_

"You're not a monster," he repeated, "A monster kills pointlessly, or for fun or something like that. You saved all our lives that day. You saved my life twice."

_"Is that why he stays around me?"_

" I want to be around you partly because I owe you a debt, and partly because…" he flushed, "…I think you're a very interesting person. You're smart and fun to be around.

"…_really?"_

He took a sip of grapefruit juice. A horrified look appeared on his face and he spat it out.

"Oh yuck! Gross!"

Lily laughed despite herself.

"What does it taste like?" she laughed

"Ughh! It's the sourest thing I've ever tasted!" he shuddered to add effect.

"I guess I'll have to try it now," she said, swirling the liquid around. She swallowed the juice in one gulp. James' mouth fell open.

"H-how do you do that?" he stuttered, pointing at the empty glass, "It's just so…uggh!"

"Interesting taste," she said, smacking her lips, enjoying the disbelieving look on James' face, " I think I'll have some more."

When the bell finally rang, Lily had consumed three glasses of juice, to James' horror.

"What class do we have now?" he asked her, as he dragged her away from the kitchen.

"Herbology," she groaned, "Great. Just what I need."

They ran to Greenhouse Four, and slipped in with the rest of the class. As soon as the class noticed she was there they edged away slowly. Lily noticed a muscle in James' jaw twitch.

She smiled slightly and gave her full attention to the Professor Sprout.

Weeks passed swiftly since October 31st, when it finally happened. The school had calmed down a bit after the incident, even the first years no longer became terrified when Lily entered the room. Lily was also proud to say that she officially had friends. She spent most of her time with James, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.

At first they had been rather reluctant to accept her into their group of friends, which she could understand perfectly. Lily had kept away from James when the rest of them were around and would have kept on doing that forever until, except that James kept dragging his friends over to sit with her. When he first started doing it, she had felt awkward because while James seemed to like her, it was very doubtful anyone else would. However, she had been surprised when James asked her if she didn't like his friends, as she always acted uncomfortable around them. Lily had told him that she had thought it was the other way around, but then he explained that, yes, in the beginning that weren't very sure but now they didn't think she was that bad after all. After that things got easier and the misunderstanding was all but forgotten.

It was very funny, she thought, that if a year ago someone had told her she would be friends with the Marauders, she would have pronounced them insane. She had also found out that Remus Lupin was a werewolf and that James, Sirius, and Peter were all illegal Animagi. They seemed to think she would be impressed, until they found out she had been an Animagus since the age of fourteen.

She had laughed when the Marauders threw dungbombs at the new caretaker Argus Filch, earning her her first detention. She had helped charm all the Slytherins' brooms so that they would shout obscenities at whoever rode them. She had joined them on the full moon for the first time on November 27th. Needless to say, Lily was the happiest she had ever been in her life.

However, it was still a very tentative friendship. Lily knew that the Marauders hadn't _really_ been friends with anyone else but each other and weren't sure how to deal some of the times. The person she felt comfortable with the most was James and while the rest of them were nice, it felt strange if he wasn't there.

Then on December 6th, twenty Aurors burst into Hogwarts during breakfast.

Lily whirled around drawing her wand. Seeing that the intruders were not Death Eaters, she lowered her wand, but just a bit.

Dumbledore stood up addressed the Aurors politely, "To what do I owe this visit, my friends?"

"You know very well why we're here, Dumbledore!" shouted one of the Aurors, gripping his wand tightly, "Hand over that Evans girl!"

_"They want me? _she thought, _"Well they aren't going to get me!"_

"Looking for me?" she said in her deepest voice. She watched gleefully as they all spun around, scared.

"Y-you're Evans," stuttered woman with short, spiky black hair

"That would be me," Lily said, drawing her wand, watching the Aurors tremble in fear.

"Miss Evans…" Dumbledore said, sending her a warning look.

She raised her hands," I didn't do anything…yet." she turned and glared straight at the Auror who had shouted at Dumbledore, "Now, where were we…" she twirled her wand idly, "…Oh yes! I believe you wanted to take me away? I don't think so. I suggest you leave…before things get nasty."

"Miss Evans, that is quite enough," Dumbledore said severely, "Now the rest of you, what is the meaning of this? The Ministry has no control over Hogwarts. As Headmaster of this school, I believe it is time for you to go."

He motioned them toward the door. The Aurors stood they're ground.

"Should I -uh- persuade them, Headmaster?" said Lily, having no intention of doing anything of the sort, just simply enjoying the horrified expressions on the Aurors' faces.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at her. She raised her hands in defense.

"Alright, alright, just asking." she said, realizing she had probably gone too far and sat down.

"Well?" he glared at them.

One of the Aurors gulped, "Er-er well," he laughed nervously, "It looks like you have everything under control here… s-so we'll just be going." The Aurors launched themselves from the room.

"You may continue your breakfast," said Dumbledore and exited the room.

The hall immediately exploded into whispers.

"Sweet, Lily" said Sirius, grinning, "You scared the shit out of them!"

"And that's our defense against Voldemort?" James said torn between annoyance and amusement, "Serves them right for barging in here."

Lily grinned back, though slightly subdued.

"What's wrong?" said Peter, grabbing the marmalade from across the table.

She sighed, "They're going to be back," she stabbed her eggs, moodily, "Stupid Ministry, I knew this was going to happen."

"Yeah," agreed Remus, " I doubt they'll give in this easily."

But that wasn't it. She had just realized, in those few moments how much she had changed. A few months ago she would _never_ have said anything of the sort to anyone much less the law enforcement of the British Wizarding World. It felt strange and suddenly Lily wanted to be up in her room, alone reading a book instead of being surrounded by people.

"Hey Prongs? Prongs? Prong!"

Lily turned around to see James shaking himself and blinking at Sirius

"Huh? What?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "C'mon, we gotta go get our books."

He dragged James out of his seat and out of the Hall. Lily, Peter, and Remus snickered at James protests.

"Hey Padfoot, c'mon, let go! Padfoot! PADFOOT! LET ME GO!"

"C'mon, we'd better get our stuff too," said Peter, also getting out of his seat.

Remus followed suit, but Lily sat staring at her shredded eggs.

"Lily?"

"Alright, Alright. I'm coming."

She lifted herself out of her seat and followed Remus and Peter out of the Hall, people whispering and pointing at her as she went. She scowled, wondering if they would ever let up. A part of her said they never would.

**A/N: This chapter was hard for me to write, I think it was because there was no fighting…. **

**I don't think I'll update much more this summer because I'll be leaving soon for a four week vacation (after Deathly Hallows comes out, thank God.) I might be able to get chapter ten out before then, but I'm making no promises. **

**Also, in my profile there's a section called Fic Status. Since I practically live on this site, you can see how close I am to updating. I was really surprised how many people reviewed last chapter. I now have 51 reviews! That's so much better than last time; I think I had about 18. So anyway, review and my beta rocks. **


	10. Fancying Lily Evans

Chapter Ten-

James' P.O.V.

"Hey c'mon Sirius lemme go! Sirius!"

However, Sirius was not listening and ignored James' protests.

"Where in Merlin's name are you taking me?!" James yelled, causing a group of third year girls to giggle loudly, "Bloody hell, Padfoot, let me go!! HEY!!"

They turned a corner and Sirius pulled him up yet another flight of stairs, deaf to his protests. Sirius pulled a tapestry back to reveal one of Hogwarts most secret rooms. Sirius shoved him in without hesitation and grabbed one of the old wooden chairs and put his feet up on the table, grinning like a manic and breathing heavily. James forgot his anger and confusion for a moment and looked around the room.

It was a very nostalgic place for the Marauders. They had discovered it in their second year and used it as a 'club house' of sorts until fifth year when they used the Shrieking Shack instead. James smiled slightly at the four names carved into the wall of the tiny wooden room, equipped with four chairs and a table. James didn't realize how much he had grown until he tried to stand up straight and banged his head against the ceiling.

"Fuck," he swore softly as dust seeped from the ceiling onto is head and shoulders.

"So," said Sirius who had apparently regained his breath, "It's been a while since we were here, hasn't it, mate?"

James almost nodded, but caught himself just in time, remembering that he was angry at Sirius.

"What the _hell_ was that, Padfoot?" he asked angrily, turning on him, wanting to wipe that arrogant grin off his face.

"Well, I figured that this was the only place we could go to avoid being overhead."

James looked at him in confusion, "What are you _talking _about?" he asked him, "This had better be good."

"Oh, it is," Sirius said, a distinctly frightening grin on his face, "What?" he asked when James edged away slightly

"You have that _look_ on your face."

"Huh? What look?" Sirius said innocently.

James scowled, "You know what I'm talking about. That same look you get whenever there's a good opportunity to prank Snivellus."

"I see not this look you speak of!" Sirius cried dramatically, "I will fight for my honor!"

If it was under different circumstances James would have played along. However, he was not in the mood at the moment. He was hungry and had just been dragged half way around the castle, not to mention up several flights of stairs. tme what's going on right now or I'll never let you copy my homework again when you're snogging some girl up in the Astronomy Tower."

Sirius gasped, "You wouldn't!"

"I would," James reassured him, "tell me."

Sirius looked betrayed and then said the most absurd thing James had ever heard.

"So, Prongs, you fancy Lily, huh?"

James felt his jaw drop open. He stared at Sirius' smug face in disbelief.

"_Excuse _me? Did I just hear that right?" he said, not sarcastically at all.

There was no way Sirius would have just said what he thought he did. No way at all.

"You fancy Lily, don't you?" Sirius said, a grin beginning to form on his face, "Now don't be shy, Prongsie!"

James made a choking at the nickname Sirius would not stop calling him all last year.

"W-where in the world did you get that idea?!" he stuttered, feeling his face turn bright red, "Are you mad? Me, fancy _Lily_? I mean, not that I don't like her but, seriously…" James said feeling like he was just making the situation worse.

"Ha ha! I knew it!" Sirius laughed pounding his fists on the table, "At first I wasn't sure, because, you know, you've never dated a girl taller than you before, but," he broke off in a fit of laughter, "Oh Merlin that's just hilarious!"

James was extremely confused, "Okay, one, I do not fancy Lily. And two, even if I did," he said, willing his face not to turn red, "why would it be funny?"

Sirius just laughed and left so fast James swore he found a way to Apparate inside the castle grounds.

_"What was that all about? I certainly do __**not **__fancy Lily!!"_

He shook his head to clear his head. Maybe Sirius was just trying to mess with his mind. He pushed the tapestry out slightly to check if anyone was coming and then slid out and made his way to the Head's Room.

_"That was really weird before, though," _he thought, thinking of earlier that morning, _"It was like the second she felt threatened she became a totally different person. Her face totally changed, it was creepy. Oh well…" _

After a month James was well aware that Lily wasn't exactly the most predictable person. She didn't act bipolar or anything, but she reacted to certain things that the average students of Hogwarts wouldn't think twice of. For one, James had noticed that she hated when people used the word 'starving' or 'starved' casually. She hadn't said anything about it, but James noticed that her eyes would narrow slightly if someone said something like: "I'm starving; when's lunch?" He had been very careful after that to never say anything along those lines. Another thing was that, unlike him, by nature, Lily wasn't a very social person. She didn't really know how to deal with having friends, suddenly, when James suspected she had never had friends before. Sometimes James could tell that she wanted to be alone, though she would never say anything of the sort. Lily was used to being alone and James tried not to interfere with that as much as he could, while still being a good friend, of course.

This, he thought angrily, was one the reason he _didn't_ have fancy Lily. He just couldn't. Not because she wasn't pretty or smart or anything like that. It was because Lily wasn't like other girls. It seemed just plain wrong to think of her in a sexual way. She had been hurt very badly in the past and thinking about her with _lust_ just seemed…immoral, as old-fashioned as it sounded. It was obvious that Lily had been through a lot, stuff that James couldn't even begin to understand. She didn't need him to _want_ her like that. She needed him to be a good friend and support her, when no one had supported for a long time. He nodded resolutely and continued on his way.

After picking up his books, he headed for Transfiguration sincerely hoping that Sirius had dropped this fancying Lily crap. When he entered the room the rest of the Marauders and Lily were already there. Sirius winked at him and James felt his face flush for the second time that day. Apparently he hadn't dropped his crazy idea. He sent a look that clearly said: _I do __**not **__fancy Lily!!_ Sirius just winked at him again as if to say: _That's what you think. _James scowled, he knew that when Sirius came up with something crazy like this, there was little he could do to convince him otherwise. When Lily gave him a questioning look, he just rolled his eyes and slumped into his seat, trying to figure out the best way of shattering Sirius' crazy idea that he liked Lily. He was doodling on his parchment a bit, not really paying attention to what McGonagall was saying, when Sirius threw him the note. He frowned slightly at the grin on Sirius' face and wondered briefly if Sirius had cursed the notes. It wouldn't have been the first time. Preparing himself for the worst, James un-crumpled it and read:

**Prongs fancies Lily! Prongs fancies Lily!-SB**

James quickly grabbed his quill wrote on the back furiously and threw it at Sirius. And so the passing of notes began.

I do NOT fancy Lily! She's just a friend! -JP 

**I'm sure you don't, you just happen to stare at her all the time right?**

Yeah! I just happe-I do NOT stare at her all the time, you prat!

_Huh? Prongs fancies Lily? What's going on?-RL _

**Hey Moony, don't you think Prongs stares at Lily all the time?**

Hey! Listen Padfoot I-

**_Prong's fancies Lily? And yeah, he does stare at her all the time –PP _**

Wormtail! You have to be on MY side! 

_Sorry Prongs, I'll have to also agree with Sirius._

ARGGGHH!!

_Sirius, if I were you I'd stay away from James for a bit, he looks a little angry._

**Yeah…**

**_'A little' is an understatement_**

Hey, stop talking like I'm not here!

_Actually we're writing._

Shut up, Moony!

_And we're passing notes, so technically you're not 'here'_

**He's got a point.**

**_Yeah, even I'll agree!_ **

…

_Face it James, you fancy her._

**I mean, even Wormtail noticed!**

**_Hey!_**

For the umpteenth time, I do NOT fancy Lily!

_Umpteenth?_

**I'm impressed Prongsie! Your vocabulary has increased. **

**_I'll say, it's almost like he actually knows what he's saying! _**

Hey!

**First fancying Lily and now using words like umpteenth. Little Prongsie is growing up!** **(sob)**

FOR THE LAST TIME: I DO NOT FANCY LILY!

_**Sure. That's why you keep blushing when we mention her name.**_

I am NOT blush…we're writing Wormtail. Nobody 'mentioned' anything. 

**_He HAS changed! He almost__ sounds__ -oh, my bad- WRITES like Moony._**

_Hey! I take offense to that._

**Yeah, I would too!**

Shut up, Sirius 

**And using first names too.**

Why do I know you people?

_Well besides the fact tha-_

**'Cause, I mean you have ONLY liv-**

_**Jeez Prongs, even I'm not that-**_

"Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew, Black! What on EARTH are you doing?"

James looked up to find the entire class looking at them. Even Lily had broken away from her notes to stare at them- no- him. Again he felt his face turn red.

"Er- we were discussing Human Transfiguration?" he suggested weakly, thanking Merlin that Peter had enough sense to hide the parchment.

McGonagall just sighed, she had enough experience with the Marauders than to try to get what they were doing out of them.

"Please discuss _last month's _lesson in a less…disruptive manner," she said.

The rest of the class laughed. James turned around and glared at Sirius, who just winked at him.

Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow and the laughter died down almost instantly.

"I really would hate to give you detention, especially you, Mr. Potter and Mr. Black."

A few of the students let out a giggle. They all knew, that while Professor McGonagall was extremely strict and followed all the rules, she did like Gryffindor wining the Quidditch Cup, as they had the past few years. The Quidditch season had just started, but it was obvious that McGonagall was talking no chances, and because James was a Chaser and Sirius a Beater…

She turned her back on the class and began to scribble something on the black board about their upcoming N.E.W.T.s. James sighed, he should have known that's what they where talking about. After all it was what the teachers had been talking about since the beginning of sixth year. N.E.W.T.s, N.E.W.T.s, N.E.W.T.s. James was sick of the abbreviation.

"What were you four doing?" Lily muttered out of the corner of her mouth, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear in a way that was sort of prett- James cut off that thought, swearing inwardly.

"Oh, Sirius was just annoying me about…er…something, yeah."

"Huh? What was he-"

"Got to go to Potions, c'mon," he said as McGonagall announced that they could leave.

James turned away, gathered up his things speedily, and quickly exited the classroom. He half-ran through the throngs of chattering students that crowded the hallway, needing to get away from his friends for the moment.

This was not good, he thought as he weaved in between groups of friends walking to their next class together. At first he had thought was all Sirius' fault, really. After all, he had been the one who had caused James think about Lily in ways that he was pretty sure she wouldn't appreciate. But after a while he realized that this wasn't exactly true. He played the last few weeks in his mind, then months, and finally _years_. James suddenly understood something. No way. There was no possible way he could have liked…for years? Right? It seemed absurd because he had always hated her…right? But now he saw that maybe from the beginning…After all _he_ was the one who started all their fights, _he_ was the one always vying for her attention. And even after summer, when you'd think he'd have been disillusioned, he'd still…

James reached the Potions classroom and stood in front of the door panting. None of his classmates had arrived yet so he still had sometime to think before he had to answer Lily's questions of why he had run away.

_"No, I can't really… can I ? I mean, it…it wouldn't be fair, 'cause Lily wouldn't…could she? No, she has enough on her plate already. Oh Merlin…" _

He ran a hand through his messy hair, resigned to his fate.

"_Bloody Hell. I fancy Lily Evans."_

**A/N: And here's chapter ten. I think my favorite part of this chapter was the note-passing part. It was really fun to write. I'm not really sure if I'm going to add anything from Deathly Hollows in. (I just finished it and I was **_**bawling.) **_**Next chapter I think I'm going to add something that wasn't in the old version: a Quidditch match. However, I'm making no promises, so don't yell at me if there's nothing about Quidditch in the next one. I'm also not going to update in a while so bear with me. Hope you're all having a good summer and please review! **


	11. Fancying Lily Evans II

Chapter Eleven-

By the end of the day, James Potter was thoroughly annoyed. Every time he even looked within a two meter radius of where Lily was, Sirius, Remus, and Peter would break out into laughter. Which earned them all (except Lily) four detentions. Complete arseholes, all of them.

"Wow I think this is a record for us! Four detentions in one day!" half-yelled Sirius as they exited Charms.

"Actually, I think our record is six in a day," said James dully, "Which _reminds _me…"

Remus, Peter, and Sirius backed up. Unfortunately for James, Lily decided to show up at that moment.

"WHAT are you four doing?! You've been acting weird all day!" she said raising her eyebrows at them.

"Uh well…we were just-" James stuttered,

"-annoying Prongs. It's quite fun, would you like to try it?" Sirius cut in smoothly.

Lily smiled slightly, "Maybe another time, but we have our last and my _favorite _class next."

"HERBOLOGY!! YES!" Sirius rushed down the wide hallway, leaving Lily, Peter, James, and Remus staring after him.

"Umm…okay then," said Peter.

"Well, that's Padfoot for you," sighed James.

"C'mon, we're going to be late," Remus picking up his bag, "Coming Lily?"

Lily scowled and followed them down the hall, looking slightly downcast.

_"Well yeah, she does have the entire Ministry on her tail. And not to mention Death Eaters," _James thought, _"And that is the reason she does NOT need you fancying her. Besides she probably doesn't like you like that anyway. So…just act normal. You can do this Potter."_

With that issue resolved, he called over his shoulder, "C'mon Lily! We can't be late for your _favorite _class!"

"Hey! I don't see you jumping for joy at the prospect of it either!" she yelled back, speeding up.

"C'mon, be happy! It's Friday, the end of the week!"

"Oh, shut up! Everyone knows Herbology is pure evil!"

"Apparently not Sirius," called Remus, " Hurry up you two, we're going to be late!"

"And Lily couldn't bear to be late for her _favorite _class, could she?" yelled Peter

"Hey, stop making f-"

"No time for talking, we gotta hur-"

"Bloody Herbol-"

"Oh, you know you love it!"

James watched amusedly as his friends argued.

_"Everything is fine like this. I wouldn't want to ruin it with a simple crush… would I?" _

Lily's P.O.V.

Lily sighed as she mounted the stair to her room. She had to drop off her books before going down to dinner today. Her friends had been acting very strangely today. And James kept turning bright red.

_"Weird. Maybe James did something-nah- he wouldn't get that distraught… oh well maybe it's just what happened this morning. Either way I can't stay here for long," _she sighed again and flopped down on her bed. _"The Aurors will be back and then everyone who associates with me will get in trouble. The Ministry's already mad enough at Dumbledore. Next time they'll be back and they won't be that easy to get rid of. I suppose that I should leave, it'd save a lot of people a lot of trouble. And that's more important than getting my N.E.W.T.s. And anyway…"_ she rolled over on to her back, _" no one would care if I left anyway, they'd probably be glad…well maybe James would care…_

**"Would he?'**

_"W-well I think he would."_

**"Really? I don't think so. Somehow…"**

_"W-what do you mean? James would…he told me…"_

**"He told you? What good is that? He doesn't really like you-"**

_"But-"_

**"No one likes you! He's tricking you."**

_"But no, he wouldn't…James wouldn't…why would he trick me?"_

**"Well-"**

_"There is no point to tricking me! What would he gain from it?"_

**"Then why would he stay near you? Why would he be your friend?"**

_"W-well he said that-"_

**"Back to ****what he said****do you really think he means what he said?"**

_"No, James isn't like that! He wouldn't do that!"_

**"How do you know?"**

"I don't."

**"What?"**

_"I said, I don't know that he wouldn't do that. But he was the first person who was truly nice to me. He has shown no sign of tricking me, and if he does I'll deal with it then. But right now I'm happy, so why ruin it?"_

**"But-"**

"But what?" 

**"You really-"**

"Lily! Time for dinner!" yelled James.

"Coming!" she shouted back.

_"Nothing is for certain. But somehow I can't shake the feeling that…maybe these boys, maybe James…that they really do care…but I'm scared if I get in too far…I don't want to be hurt…I shouldn't trust anyone, I remember what happened last time…but I think I do anyway…"_

"Lily!"

"Gimme a minute!"

_"Please, Please don't hurt me… Physical pain I can deal with…but last time…I can't do that again… James." _

She jumped down the stairs.

"Sorry, 'bout that, I was putting something away," she lied casually

James rolled his eyes, "You and your organizational obsession,"

"Hey, you could use some organizational skills, yourself!"

"Huh? I'm very organized."

"Sure, that's why your hair looks like someone tried to get at it with a vacuum cleaner!"

"A vacuum cleaner? What's that?"

Lily sighed, "Never mind, Muggle thing. And don't forget that your room looks like a disaster-zone!"

"My room does NOT look like a- Hey, when have you been up to my room?" he asked turning around to look at her.

She rolled her eyes, "Never. I heard from a very reliable source."

"Meaning Padfoot, right?"

"No! Remus and Peter agreed with him."

"Next time I see him I'm going to punch him-"

"Who are you going to punch?" asked Sirius, sticking his head through the portrait hole.

"Hey, how did you get in here?"

"Prongs gave me the password," said Sirius winking at James.

"JAMES, YO-"

" I did NOT give _you_ the password, I gave _Remus_ the password when he wanted one of my books!"

"Fine, I was eavesdropping. Anyway, hurry up! We're going to miss all the good stuff!"

He grabbed her and James' hand and dragged them out of the room.

"Padfoot, let us g-"

"Sirius, I'm giving you five seconds to let go or I'll-"

Sirius paid no heed, and dragged them all the way down to the Great Hall.

"Finally," he said melodramatically, "Food!"

She and James both whacked him on the head. "OUCH! Bloody Hell! What was that for?"

"You prat! That was for draggin-"

"Sirius! If you do that one more time-"

Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Excuse me for interrupting, but could you discuss-er- whatever you're discussing, in a less disruptive manner."

"Uh…sorry Professor," said Lily, glaring at Sirius, who was wearing his most innocent face, "It won't happen again."

She slid into her seat at the end of the table, still glaring at Sirius, who had already started shoving large amounts of food down his throat.

"Prat," she muttered under her breath, as she grabbed some mashed potatoes.

"Damn right," grumbled back James, who looked like he would like nothing better than to punch some best friend of his in the face.

Lily smiled, and began eating her mashed potatoes.

"Oi, Potter, Black!"

Lily turned around to see the Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Will Alderton. Beside her James frowned slightly and she suppressed a grin. Lily knew that James felt that he should have been named as Quidditch Captain, though she suspected that Dumbledore felt that as Head Boy he would have enough to do.

"Yes?" said James gruffly.

"Don't forget-"

"I know, I know, Quidditch practice tonight. Yes, I remember there is a game against Slytherin tomorrow. Is that it, _Captain_?"

Lily was surprised by James' rudeness, however the rest of her friends were stifling sniggers. Even Remus.

"You insolent little-"

"Oi," Sirius said, drawing his wand, "Finish that sentence, I dare you."

Alderton flushed angrily, "Listen you two," he said in a low voice, "I don't want to get into a fight, but you two are wearing down my patience!"

Sirius and James exchanged a look and then proceeded to burst into laughter.

"W-Wearing down your patience? And here I was expecting something-" But whatever Sirius was expecting was drowned out by another peel of laughter that caused him to fall off the bench.

"Yo-You two!" said Alderton angrily, a vein popping in his head.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?"

"Oh, bugger off, _Captain_!"

The Marauders burst into laughter again, causing many heads to turn. Alderton turned around, completely humiliated, and stalked out of the Great Hall.

Remus was the first to calm down, though Peter, Sirius and, James continued to chortle for the next ten minutes, thoroughly annoying the rest of the Hall.

"Will someone tell me what that was all about?" Lily asked impatiently after they finally stopped laughing.

"Well, you see," said Remus, "Will's a bit of…well…"

"A bit of an arsehole," Peter said, snorting into his pumpkin juice.

"…he's a bit of a control freak," Remus finished, "And ever since he became Quidditch Captain, he's been annoying all the players constantly and he tells them when practices and games are over and over and over again."

"Daff's da vivvth dime 'e's dold be," James said through a mouth full of food.

"In English, please," Lily said.

"That's the fifth time he's told me about the upcoming game," James said, swallowing his food, "As if I'd forget."

"Well, once you didn't show up," Remus reminded him, "I think that's why he keeps telling you."

"I didn't forget," James replied, stabbing his roast with a fork, "It was the full moon that night. But I can hardly tell him that."

Remus looked at him in surprise and Lily noticed that, just for a second, he looked a little sad.

"Anyway, neither of you can really talk," Sirius said darkly, "You don't have to work with him."

Lily blinked at him, "He's the other beater," Peter explained to her.

"Oh," Lily said.

She had never really paid much attention to Quidditch. While she did like flying, she had never had much interest in Quidditch. Lily had to say that Muggle football (1) interested her the most. Not that she'd tell them that.

"Anyway we have the first game of the season tomorrow, so he's all worked up about it. Merlin, I hate that bloke so much."

"Sirius," Remus chided, "He does mean well. And he is a good beater."

"Yeah, Yeah," said Sirius, not rebuked in the least, "Whatever you say."

James and Sirius, despite their raucous laughing fit they had displayed only minutes ago, suddenly seemed to be in an incredibly bad mood. They finished their dinner with minimal conversation and left for their rooms earlier than usual.

Lily finished her homework quickly and went to bed earlier than usual only to be woken up at one in the morning to someone swearing loudly below her. She grabbed her wand and crouched down, inching out of her door and down the carpeted stair. She glanced over the railing to see a silhouette standing in front of the fire. She couldn't see its face, but from the body structure it was probably male. A Death Eater? Or perhaps someone from the Ministry? The figure was swearing under his breathe and seemed to be messing with something at his waist, but it was too dark for Lily to see anything more.

_"One…" _she thought,_ "Two…"_

She tightened her grip on her wand and tensed her entire body.

_"Three!" _

She leapt to her feet, wand clenched tightly.

_"Stupef_…James…?"

James had fallen over in sheer panic and now was sprawled against the sofa looking terrified.

"L-Lily!" he gasped, "Merlin, don't do that!"

"Sorry," she said, her heart pounding, "I thought you were someone els…why are you covered in mud?"

James swore and muttered something that sounded like Quidditch practice.

"Quidditch practice?" she repeated, "_Quidditch practice??! _Do you realize what time it is?"

"Err…"

"It's one in the morning," she said, feeling inexplicably tired when she said it.

"WHAT?" he shouted, "You mean I've been practicing for six hours! _Six hours!_"

"Six hours," Lily said, surprised, "Isn't that against school rules or somet-"

"-I'm going to kill Alderton! That fucking piece of-"

This hit a nerve, "James," she said sharply, "People are sleeping."

"Oh," he said, taking a few deep breathes, "Right."

"You better take a shower and go right to bed. You have a big game tomorrow."

"Yeah," he muttered bad temperedly, wiping mud off his forehead, "Great."

There was a spot of mud on his cheek and before Lily knew what she was doing she had conjured a handkerchief and wiped it off.

"You're filthy," she said disapprovingly, wondering why in the world James' face had turned the color of a beet.

"Uh…yeah. Umm…I better go up and take a shower," he said very quickly, avoiding looking into her eyes, "'Night, Lily!"

He turned and half ran up the stairs to his bedroom leaving her staring up after him wondering what she had done wrong.

She climbed up the stares James' words ringing in her ears.

"_-I'm going to kill Alderton! That fucking piece of-"_

"_-I'm going to kill Alderton!"_

"_-going to kill-"_

"_-kill-"_

_KILL_

"Not if I have anything to say about it," she said softly to herself and shut her bedroom door behind her.

The next morning, James and Sirius were in an even worse mood than they had been in last night. Lily found out that Alderton had completely forgotten about the time and had made them practice much later than was allowed.

After breakfast the entire school walked cheerfully off to the Quidditch pitch. However, Lily had noticed that before, when the two Quidditch teams left, the Gryffindors did not look happy. Usually Lily didn't go to the Quidditch matches very early in the season, but since James and Sirius were now her friends she felt obligated. Not that she didn't want to go, after all, the game would be much more interesting now that she knew at least two of the players. She, Remus, and Peter found decent seats near the front and Lily watched slightly amused and slightly with empathy as the Gryffindor team stamped onto the field. Alderton smiled as the Slytherin Captain and he shook hands. Lily smirked when he Slytherin Captain glared at him and Peter and Remus sniggered.

And then they were off. Lily's eyes followed James as he immediately took possession of the Quaffle and made for the hoops at the other end of the pitch. A Slytherin chaser tried to intercept him, but James flew around him and then…

"GRYFFINDOR SCORES. TEN TO ZERO!"

"Yes!" she whispered under her breathe and watched with a smile as Sirius and James high-fived each other in midair.

In his anger, one of the Slytherin beaters whacked a Bludgers straight at James who dodged it easily, sticking out his tongue impudently at him. Peter burst into laughter and Lily heard Sirius yelling insults at the Beater. Before a fight could start, a young woman who's name Lily could not remember flew in-between them and began admonishing Sirius, James, and the Slytherin Beater.

"They never do stop, do they?" Remus said, but he was grinning.

"Why are you even asking, Moony?" Peter said, winking at him.

"He's got a point there," Lily said.

"True," Remus conceded.

Lily stifled a laugh as James and Sirius took turns making faces at the Slytherin Beater behind the referee's back.

"So," she said, once the game had started back up again, "Anyone up for pranking our lovely friend over there?" she pointed to the Slytherin Beater that had tried to hit James with a Bludger.

Peter and Remus' devilish grin were all she needed.

"Right," she said, "First, I think we should…"

James' P.O.V.

If there could be only one word to describe how James felt now it would be exhausted. They had won the game, however it was closer than James would have liked it to be. He also felt sick to his stomach and wanted to just go to bed and lie there for the rest of the day. Goddamn Alderton. The worst of it was, unlike the rest of the team, he didn't even look tired. James really wanted to punch his face in, but for some reason he felt that Professor McGonagall wouldn't be very pleased with him. Neither would Alderton, though then again, that was the point.

James changed out of his Quidditch robes sluggishly and looked blearily at his reflection in the mirror.

"I want my bed," he said aloud and his teammates grunted in assent, too tired to do anything else.

"Potter, I want to talk to you."

James turned around and groaned. Great, just great.

"Not now, Alderton," James moaned, "I'm too tired."

"Your behavior today was inexcusable!" Alderton continued, completely ignoring him, "Are you trying to give our team a bad name?"

James raised an eyebrow, "I stuck out my tongue at him," he said disbelievingly.

He could not _believe_ he was having this conversation.

"The game was delayed because Madam Hooch had to stop you and a member from the other side from getting into a fight!"

"Well, Hooch was always a bitch…"

"James Potter! I will not tolerate your-"

"Whatever," James muttered and quickly left the scene before Alderton blew up.

"You okay, mate?" Sirius asked when he joined him outside the changing room.

"No," James moaned, "That bloody arsehole won't leave me alone."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but James would never know what it was because right then Lily, Peter, and Remus came around the corner.

"Nice, Padfoot," Peter said happily, "Did you see Urquhart's face when you hit that Bludger a centimeter in front of his face? It was wicked!"

James gave him a small smile, "Yeah. Wicked."

"Are you alright, James?" Remus asked him, "You look exhausted."

"Tell me about it," Sirius groaned, "I think I'm just going to go to bed for the rest of the day. Wake me up for dinner, though."

"You did really well, though," Lily said, smiling slightly. A smile that James rarely saw. It brought color to his cheeks and he looked away, only to glare at Peter who started to snigger.

"What's so funny?" Lily asked Peter.

"Uh…well," Peter cleared his throat, "Er, no I was just remembering something else."

Out of the corner of his eye, James saw Sirius mouth 'Smooth.' Lily didn't look convinced but she let it go.

"C'mon," Lily said, looking closely at him and Sirius, "I think I agree with Remus. You two better get some rest."

"Sure," James muttered, pushing off the wall he had been leaning on. He stumbled, feeling dizzy and Lily grabbed his shoulders, steadying him

"James, I think you need to go to the Hospital Wing," she said worriedly.

Oh Merlin, she was so much closer to him than he was comfortable with!

"No," he said, trying to sound reassuringly, "Really, I just need some sleep."

"Fine," she said, but she didn't look convinced, "But I'm walking you back to the room in case you faint or something."

With that she grabbed his shoulders and dragged him along. James saw, over his shoulder, his friends convulsing in silent laughter and giving him thumbs up. James felt his face heat up and wondered if it was a bad thing that he couldn't tell if this was the best or worst day of his life.

(1) Not American football. Otherwise known as the wonderful sport of soccer.

**A/N: Poor James. I love torturing him so. I had a lot of fun with this chapter, mostly because I wrote a whole new section that wasn't in the last version. I have decided that I am going to incorporate Deathly Hallows into this, but since this is already AU, certain things (like Snape being in love with Lily) aren't going to be in here. I'm sorry for the long wait, but I just got back from vacation and I was really tired for a few days. My beta is awesome and made of win. Please review! **


	12. Fateful Intervention

Chapter Twelve-

Lily's P.O.V.

After dragging James, who had been extremely feverish, to the hospital, Lily met back with Peter and Remus in the great hall for lunch. Sirius had gone to bed, so together they tried to devise a plan for paying back the Slytherin beater. To tell the truth, hitting a Bludger at another player when the game technically had been stopped, wasn't all that big of an offense. However, pranking was fun, so Lily wasn't going to complain.

"I still think we should use that charm that threw mud on him," Peter argued, "Remember when we used it in our second year on that prefect Malfoy? That was wicked!"

"But it's already been done, Peter," Remus said, talking a sip of pumpkin juice, "We have to do something new. It's tradition…wait, does that even make sense?"

"I do like the idea of mud," Lily said, "I think I'll go look in on it. I'll be in the library."

"A-A-A bo-book?!" Peter stuttered in horror, as if Lily had just suggested they all throw themselves off the Astronomy Tower, "Sacrilege! Blasphemy!"

"Big words, Peter," muttered Remus amusedly, "We _have_ gotten pranks from books before, you know."

"B-but…" Peter said, opening and closing his mouth, as if words could not express his feelings.

Lily sniggered and stood up.

"See you," she said, and began to make her way out of the hall.

On the way a group of Ravenclaw fourth years glared at her warily and edged away from her. Lily gritted her teeth angrily and forced herself not to say anything sarcastic.

_"Just deal with it, Evans,"_ she told herself, _"It's not going to change anytime soon anyway." _

Eventually, Lily, Peter and Remus, decided on charming the entire Slytherin table's drinks to turn to mud in their mouths. Originally, they had only wanted to charm the Slytherin beater's drink, but then Sirius intervened and it ended up being the entire Slytherin table. Lily was slightly reluctant to damn the whole table to muddy drinks even if they didn't do anything wrong, however, the Marauder's motive really wasn't as cruel as it could have been. They simply pranked the Slytherins because they were the "opposing team" as James called it, as if life was a Quidditch match.

So, the following day, Lily and the Marauders were forced to cast Silencing charms on themselves in order to suppress their laughter as Slytherins left their table in droves.

On a more important matter; surprisingly, the Ministry decided not to pursue the "Evans problem." Lily suspected Dumbledore had either blackmailed or threatened the Ministry, and was very grateful. But she resolved that if they came she would give herself up, rather than cause a fight, where her friends might get hurt.

The months quickly went by. Christmas and the Easter Holidays passed without event, unless you count the full moons. Especially the one in January, when Sirius got mistaken as the Grim by a villager in Hogsmeade, to Lily, James, Peter's, and eventually Remus' amusement. Sirius went through a bunch of new girlfriends and Peter succeeded in transplanting a raccoon onto his head in Transfiguration. Time seemed to speed up during this time and before the seventh years knew it, it was April and they had less than two months until they graduated.

And just when Lily thought everything would be okay, and she would be able to graduate without any further mishap, fate intervened once again.

Lily was patrolling the Charms corridor, alone, late on a Wednesday night. Usually she would be accompanied by a prefect or James, but James had Quidditch practice and the prefect who should've taken his place was ill in the hospital wing. Lily didn't really mind that much. She enjoyed walking down the long dark hallways of Hogwarts all alone, with only the sound of her footsteps to break the silence. Lily wasn't really _unsocial_ per say, she did enjoy the company of certain others; however, being surrounded by people all the time was not something she relished either. Unlike a lot of people, she didn't find walking alone in the dark scary or boring. She really liked the feel and smell of the old-fashioned castle and was glad, somewhat, that wizards chose to stick to the old ways instead of like most Muggles who constantly obsessed over new things. It wasn't that new things were bad, but if people became so wrapped up in them…she cut herself off. There was no use thinking about such things, it was too much of a paradox and she'd make herself tired.

She was on the seventh floor walking past a gigantic mirror that the Marauder's used to sneak out of the castle when she heard it:

_"Stupefy!"_

She dodged to the side automatically, drawing her wand as she went.

"Who's there?" she said sharply, tensing herself for a fight.

Who would try and Stun the Head Girl? Lily knew her reputation and she hardly thought any of Hogwarts would want to take her on in a real battle. Unless they were lying in wait for someone else…

"Your time has come…Mudblood!" called a sharp voice from the corridor to the right.

Lily spun around, squinting in the darkness, barely making out the shape cloaked figure in the dark.

"What?! Those are Death Eater Robes! How did they get in?" 

She was about to cast a spell when she a sound at her left.

_"Avada Kedavra!"_

_"Stupefy!" _

_"Crucio!"_

Dropping to the floor, she felt the curses whistle overhead.

_"Shit! I'm surrounded!" _

Before she could jump to her feet she heard a familiar voice.

"Is she dead?" said Snape

She froze.

"_So they aren't real Death Eaters, just Slytherin wannabes. This is going to be easier than I thought. All I have to do is knock them out and bring them to Dumbledore!" _

She waited until all of them stumbled rather unprofessionally around her.

"I'm not sure, let's check," Bellatrix Black's enthusiastic voice echoed around the room.

_"Let's see, three, no four, five, six ,seven, eight! They planned to take me down with eight kids! This was definitely not Voldemort's idea! Or did he plan to take me by surprise?" _

She jumped up and tripped two of them and threw one against the wall. She chuckled lightly, "You thought you could kill me with only eight of you? It would take more than ten times your number to even cause me slight discomfort!"

A few of them backed away.

"You cowards! Where are you going? We have to finish this!" screamed Black, _"Avada Kedavra!" _

Lily dodged the curse, _"Stupefy!"_

_"Protego!"_

_"Immobilis Corpus!"_

_"Protego!"_

Lily cursed inwardly, Black had fast reflexes and Lily was pretty sure she could block every spell Lily threw at her. She could of course, kill her or use some other sort of Dark Magic; however, Dumbledore would not be pleased. She was running out of time though, there were still four other Death Eaters that she hadn't stunned and they would be a problem if she got into a long duel. Lily glanced at her surroundings carefully, blocking a Stunner from Bellatrix and one from another 'Death Eater' on behind her.

_"That's it!"_

Lily smirked and shot a Stunner at Bellatrix. Bellatrix raised a shield; however, she might as well have just stood, there as the spell whistled by a meter over her head.

"Are you losing it, Evans?" Black taunted, her beautiful face twisted in sadistic amusement, "Is that all you can do? To think a dirty Mudblood like you would defy the Dark L-"

Black froze and fell to the floor. The Stunner that Lily had shot over her head, had bounced off the huge mirror and silenced her.

Lily quickly stunned two others who were staring confusedly at the limp body of Bellatrix Black. She was engaged in a duel with who she thought was Nott, when she heard a hissing noise. Dodging a Killing Curse and spinning around, she saw a gigantic Cobra.

_"Reducto!" _she hissed and the snake was blown to pieces.

Suddenly purple light flew from behind the disemboweled snake.

_"What?! Wandless Magic!" _she thought, recognizing the spell, _"Who here could do that?" _

She dodged the curse and sent a huge fireball at the caster. Stunning Nott easily as he watched the giant fireball, she turned just in time to see her fireball disintegrate as a yellow light hit it.

The cloaked figures hood fell of to reveal Snape.

"Snape," she growled angrily, "Give up now before I am forced to kill you."

He sneered at her, "No way, Mudblood! You will pay for killing the Dark Lords servants!"

"So, was this your plan? I doubt Voldemort would be this foolish. Attempting murder under Albus Dumbledore's nose? And sending eight _children _to kill me," she laughed coldly and narrowed her eyes, "Give up Snape, you know you can't win."

Snape looked panicky for a second and laughed nervously, " As if a dirty Mudblood like you could kill me!"

Lily sighed, she hated doing this, but she had no choice if she didn't want to kill him.

She stepped back in shock. "Professor Dumbledore!" she cried. Snape whirled around.

_"Stupefy!" _she said in a low voice. Snape fell to the floor. Levitating the eight 'Death Eaters,' she made her way to Dumbledore's office.

_"Great,"_ she thought, _"Just what I needed." _

It wasn't at all fair. What did Lily ever do to deserve this? All she ever wanted was to be normal, but it seemed that she was never going to get her way. She suddenly wished that she had never interfered with the Death Eaters and their twisted ideas. Then maybe none of this would have ever happened and she would be able to live a normal (more normal, she corrected herself) life and then-

**"-and then your precious James and his friends would be dead along with half of Hogwarts, not to mention all the villagers of Hogsmeade. Yes, **_**exactly**_** what you want."**

"Shut up," she muttered, almost tripping on the stone steps as she made the long trek down a particularly large set of moving stairs.

**"Don't be a fool, Evans, you would regret it more if you hadn't interfered. In fact, I think you like interfering. It makes you feel good, because you wish someone would've interfered when you needed it most."**

_"That's not true!"_

**"Oh, yes it is, Lily. Don't even try to deny it. It's not like it's a bad thing anyway. You've saved so many people's lives, you have nothing to regret."**

_"Yeah, some thanks I'm getting."_

**"You're worrying about that? Don't let it bother you. Humans are stupid, selfish beings. It'll take them awhile, but I assure you, one day you'll get your due."**

"Yeah, right," she said to herself aloud.

Lily turned a corner and came to a familiar door, guarded by two stone gargoyles.

"Open up," she told one of the gargoyles.

"What's the password?" asked the gargoyle irritably.

"I don't care about the password, I want a word with Dumbledore," she said impatiently.

"I can't let you in without the password," said the gargoyle slightly smugly, as if it enjoyed making her angry.

"Listen," she said in a low angry voice, "You are going to open this bloody door or I'll blast you apar-"

"Miss Evans what seems to be the matter?"

Lily spun around to find Dumbledore standing there serenely as if he had been there the entire time. She felt her face turn bright red

"Uh… I was just…I mean, Professor!" She felt suddenly guilty and embarrassed for a few seconds before she composed herself, "I was patrolling the corridors when these eight tried to kill me. You can check their wands and everything. And look what they'r-"

Dumbledore held up his hand to stop her.

"Shall we continue this in my office, Miss Evans?"

He muttered the password to the gargoyle, which smirked at Lily, and leapt aside.

Lily, remembering what transpired the last time she entered this office, sighed and followed Dumbledore inside.

Dumbledore cast a few charms on the unconscious 'Death Eaters' and quickly called the Ministry. Before Lily knew it, Millicent Bagnold, the Minister of Magic herself, Mark Caudwell, Head of the Auror Department, and a representative from the Wizengamot were all crowed into Dumbledore's office. Lily wouldn't have minded that much except for the fact that they were all eyeing her as if she was a poisonous serpent.

"So let me get this straight," said Caudwell, "These eight attacked Evans and she fought them off. Dumbledore, you really think that You-Know-Who would send eight children to kill…her," he pointed at Lily.

"I doubt Voldemort sent them," Lily said, making everyone in the room flinch except Dumbledore, "He's not that thick. I think they came on their own accord."

"Why would they do that? They must have known that they couldn't get away with murder," Bagnold said confusedly, " Not that they would be able to commit the act anyway," she muttered under her breath, glancing at Lily.

Lily sighed. She had a pretty good idea of why, but no one in the room would be able to understand.

"Who knows how Death Eaters minds work?" she said, softly

There was an awkward silence as the representatives of the Ministry took the whole event in.

"Well," said Bagnold after a while, "We'll have these eight questioned tomorrow? Caudwell?"

"Maybe not tomorrow," said Caudwell, "We've been pretty busy lately."

"It's not that important," Lily said, feeling like she would like nothing better than to fall into bed, "They're not even real Death Eaters."

She looked up to find everyone in the room staring at her.

"Miss Evans, how do you know this?" said Dumbledore

"Well they don't have Dark Marks, unless my ring's malfunctioning…"

"Ring?" echoed the man from Wizengamot.

"Oh yeah, I have this ring that starts glowing whenever someone with a Dark Mark comes within half a kilometer radius…" she trailed off at the looks on their faces.

"W-where did you get this ring?" asked Caudwell, looking thunderstruck.

"Err…I made it."

"You made it?"

"Yeah, it's easy you just cast a simple Agnosean Charm on it while imagining the image of a Dark Mark…er…yeah…that's what I did."

"Brilliant," breathed Caudwell, "We never even thought of that!"

"Quite an achievement, Miss Evans," Dumbledore said. But then, just for a second, he was frowning. Then the expression was gone, as quickly as it had appeared.

_"Just then…what was that?"_

"Well," said Bagnold, shaking her from her thoughts "That's enough for tonight. We'll take these eight… if that's alright with you, Dumbledore…"

"Of course," Dumbledore nodded, "I will send letters to their parents tonight, informing them of they're children's expulsion."

"Also, one more thing," Lily said, "That one," she pointed at Snape, "can use wandless magic. I suggest you seal it somehow."

"Very well, Miss Evans, you may return to your room."

Lily nodded. As she walked out the door she could still hear Caudwell's voice, "Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!"

She walked back to her room, too tired to think about what tomorrow would hold for her.

"**Well, it could have been worse," the voice said.**

"_Too true."_

Lily woke early the next morning and went down to breakfast. She spotted a group of students crowed at one end of the table. Walking pass them she hear one whisper, "…Death Eaters here?" She froze.

"Must be or they wouldn't publish it…"

"…and Evans stunned and turned them in! Wow…"

"I would appreciate if you didn't talk about me behind my back," she said loudly.

They all whirled around and turned white in fear. Lily stalked off, fuming.

_"Damn, they published it in the paper! Why the hell would they do that? Probably to inflate their abysmal reputation! Bloody Ministry!"_

She sat down at the far end of the Gryffindor House table, picked up a newspaper and read:

**Death Eaters at Wizarding School**

_Late last night eight students wearing trademark Death Eater robes, attacked the Head Girl, Lily Evans and attempted to kill her. Evans quickly dispatched the Death Eaters and brought them to the Headmaster. The eight, whose names were not disclosed to the press, are being held in, presumably Azkaban or the Ministry Headquarters, depending on their ages. Minister Bagnold refused to comment, only sayingthat the Ministry would take care of the matter and that the Ministry would get to the bottom of this incident._

_On another note, the Ministry discovered another way to detect Death Eaters. Mark Caudwell, Head of the Auror Department, told press that the idea was not his, but refused to give the name of the person who came up with the technique. Several Death Eaters have been found in the Ministry's inner works themselves. Rabastan Lestrange, Draconis Malfoy, and Gregory Nott were already discovered as Death Eaters and are being held at Azkaban until their trials._

_The press thinks there is some connection between this new breakthrough and the attack at Hogwarts yesterday. It also worries employees at the Ministry that again, Lily Evans was involved._

_"My colleagues and I are very concerned that Evans is still a student at Hogwarts," says Brandon Madley, "Granted she did turn in eight 'would-be' Death Eaters, but there is something very wrong about that girl, and she needs to be taken care of properly. I personally believe that other students should not be exposed to her."_

_Ilius Whitby, a healer at St. Mungo's says, "Evans is definitely mentally unstable. After examining her past life even at a glance, you can tell that she is suffering from trauma. She should be tested at St. Mungo's; however we cannot take Evans out of Hogwarts, as she is still under jurisdiction of Albus Dumbledore. I am very concerned; however, that Dumbledore does not recognize these obvious problems with Evans. I would be very worried if I had children going to Hogwarts."_

_Students also are very worried, Adam Zeller, finishing his second year at Hogwarts says, "I don't feel safe anymore. Our Head Girl is crazy and the Headmaster refuses to do a thing about it."_

_Interestingly, the Ministry also 'officially' refuses to do anything about the "Evans problem," they say they have the situation under control. Others think differently._

_Bridget Abercrombie, 26, and a mother of two, says "My eldest is going to Hogwarts next year. If Dumbledore continues to act in this absurd manner, I might consider home schooling her or sending her to another school overseas."_

_-Thomas Dobbs,_ Daily Prophet _reporter_

Lily dropped the paper angrily and fell into her seat.

_"How dare they! Prying into my personal life! And now I'm insane, am I? Stupid, bloody reporters, don't know a bloody thing about…"_

Lily grabbed a pitcher of water before she could get herself worked up anymore. Pouring herself a glass of water, she stared blankly at the enchanted ceiling. She closed her eyes trying to sort out her mixed up feelings.

_"Just calm down, it's not that bad."_

**"Like hell it's not that bad! These articles could ruin your whole career. No one will hire you if they think you're insane."**

_"Since when do you care about me?"_

**"Does it matter?"**

_"Not really." _

"I hate this," she mumbled under her breath

"Taking to yourself? You really are insane, Evans!"

Lily inwardly sighed and turned around to face Miranda Nigellus, Matthew Goyle, and Wilbert Slinkhard, and a bunch of other Slytherins.

"What do you want?"

Slinkhard smirked, "Well you see Evans," he drawled, "The Prophet reported that _you _sent several of our fellow De-" Nigellus cleared her throat, "Er-compatriots…to Azkaban, the Ministry, or wherever. Anyway we wouldn't have believed it, but they are missing so I suppose it is true…And," he lowered his voice, "You will pay."

Lily grabbed his collar and whispered into his terrified face, "Listen, you bastard, I know none of you have Dark Marks, but if you put one toe out of line, I'll have you in Azkaban so fast…" she dropped him and he fell onto the floor and he edged away from her.

Regaining some face he hissed at her, "Is Evans getting soft? Not going to kill us, just going to throw us into prison?"

"I only kill murderers," she hissed back at him, struggling to keep her voice low, "And you _children _have committed none and I doubt are even capable of-"

"Why you little bitch-"

"Same to you!"

_"Stupefy!" _cried Nigellus.

Reacting automatically, Lily conjured a wandless shield. The spell bounced off harmlessly. Immediately she felt tired, wandless magic had always tired her out. Fortunately, Slughorn interrupted the fight before it could continue.

"What are you doing?!" he cried, waving his arms around, "Back, back to your seats before I give you all detention!"

The Slytherins trudged back to their table. Slughorn walked back to the staff table muttering under his breath.

"…and Slytherins too! I'd have thought my own house would know better than to start a fight…"

Lily, feeling drained, concentrated on spearing her bacon with a fork, and failed miserably. She didn't notice when the Marauders came and sat down next to her.

"What's wrong, Lily? You don't look so well," James said, his brown eyes widened with concern.

"You have no idea," she told him, pushing herself up off of the bench.

Lily wobbled out of the Hall leaving him staring at her.

**A/N: Woah, long chapter! There's really not that much I can say about this chapter that's really worth your while reading so I'll just stop before I get into a page long A/N (believe me, I've done it before too) See, I mean, look how long I've been carrying on writing about absolutely nothing now…how about now! Okay, I'll stop…**

**Ahem…, anyway, moving on… Please, please review, it really makes me want to update faster. Also, many thanks to my awesome beta ****swtaznhottiechik and all you reviewers.**


	13. Unpleasant Veracity

Chapter Thirteen-

James' P.O.V.

James watched as Lily edged out the door.

_"What's wrong with her?"_

He saw the newspaper on the table and found out.

"_Woah! Last night Death Eaters attacked Lily!" _he thought, staring at the paper.

"Why didn't she tell me?" he muttered to himself.

Glancing around, he saw the entire school whispering, most holding copies of the Daily Prophet. They looked fearful, and James wondered why they weren't used to this sort of thing by now. There were deaths and disappearances everyday in the Prophet, but nobody ever paid attention to those, unless, of course, if they were related to the person. But now, even when nobody had died, everyone was making a big fuss about it. James understood why, a little; everyone thought Hogwarts was the safest place in the world, but now that there had been a Death Eater attack…Well, to tell the truth, it was just a bunch of Slytherins, but…they had tried to kill her. Or, that's what the Prophet said, at least. James grabbed a piece of toast and left the hall in a hurry, ignoring the people staring after him. From what he surmised he had developed quite a reputation as well, not as inflated as Lily's of course, but instead he had gained the status of 'Friend of Evans,' and some people even thought that he was Lily's boyfriend. The thought made his stomach squirm strangely and he wasn't sure whether to be angry or happy.

The last few months had been hard for James and not academically either. Sirius, Peter, and Remus still found it absolutely hilarious that he fancied Lily and every time her back was turned, they would make fun of _him_ for it. James scowled at the thought, it wasn't like he had never had girlfriends before! In fact, before this ruddy year started, he had been quite popular if he did say so himself.

He had hoped that over time his crush on his red-haired friend would diminish and it would merely be a funny memory to laugh about when they got older. However, he was not getting his wish. In any way whatsoever. The only good thing about the matter was that Lily remained clueless to his…whatever. James shook his head to clear his thoughts. It was no use griping about it, after all.

He turned his thoughts back to the article and frowned slightly as he made his way back to the Head's Room. The article said Lily was suffering from trauma, and a trained Healer at St. Mungo's had said she was dangerous to society. As a son of two Healers, James was used to trusting the employees at the great Wizarding hospital, but Lily wasn't…Lily wasn't like that, was she? She was extremely strong, both physically and in magic, but James had never seen her use her talents on innocent people. No, she couldn't be insane; she was just…just a little broken, he thought sadly. And no amount of tests at St. Mungo's or any other hospital could change that.

"…I _knew_ she was fucking mad! She's dangerous; remember what she did to those Death Eaters? You-Know-Who's supporters or not, she needs to be locked up."

James whirled around and glared hard at the group of Hufflepuff fifth years behind him. The short girl who was speaking blanched and the entire group hurried off.

" _Oh Merlin, this is not going to be a good day," _James thought.

He was absolutely right.

The entire day, people, especially Slytherins, kept quoting the article, and making jokes about Lily. She pretended not to notice, but James noticed her digging her nails into her palms when anyone made a comment about her sanity. During lunch, they all went down to the kitchens to avoid the mess. Lily had told them that they didn't need to come with her, but James could see that she was very grateful that they had. They spent most of the time, when they weren't in class, jumping around, avoiding other people; which was surprisingly easy when equipped with a certain map in the Marauder's possession. James thought he and Sirius were having a bit too much fun with the situation, especially when Sirius began acting out one Muggle film that he had seen. It was one that involved him hiding behind walls, holding his pointer fingers and thumbs together like a Muggle gurn…or jun…something like that. He thought that Lily might have been a little offended, but she just laughed, and joined him

By the end of the day, needless to say, they were all exhausted. All they had left was Defense Against the Dark Arts, which was not a class James was looking forward to. There was nothing wrong with the subject, in fact James had been very excited about it in his first year, but a slew of bad teachers had changed his mind. This year's professor was very boring and never let them do anything. They weren't even allowed to use magic in class, for Merlin's sake!

James slid into his usual seat, at the back of the class, and prepared himself for a very long, boring lecture. However it was not to be. Professor Towler entered the classroom with an unusually smug look on his face.

"I have a very special treat for you today," he said looking eager, "Professor Dumbledore has asked me to add a practical part of this class. So today we will be fighting a very dark creature called a Boggart!" he looked at them all as if they might run out of the room that very second, when they did not he cleared his throat and said, "Can anyone tell me what a Boggart is?"

Remus raised her hand, "It's a shape-shifter, and it takes the form of what a person is scared of the most."

Lily did not look very happy at all at the prospect of fighting a Boggart; in fact, she had a rather closed expression on her face that meant she was displeased.

About half of the class looked very nervous, but Sirius rolled his eyes, and whispered something about there being tons of Boggarts at Grimmauld Place.

"Now," said Towler, "The key to defeating a Boggart is changing it into something laughable. So just imagine the object you want to turn it into and shout the incantation, _'Riddikulus!'_ Everyone understand?"

The class nodded apprehensively.

"Now who wants to go first?"

Nobody raised their hand. After a while, Sirius rolled his eyes, stood up, and walked to the front of the room.

"I'll go," he said a bit arrogantly causing James to grin despite himself.

Towler nodded and grasped a brief case on his desk, "Ready, set, GO!" He fumbled with the clasp and the lid flew open. A figure wearing Death Eater robes stepped out. They class stepped back in shock. The hood fell down to reveal Sirius himself.

Sirius lazily pulled out his wand and said _"Riddikulus!" _in a clear voice. The figure's robes immediately turned bright pink and it stumbled. The class laughed a bit.

"Now Ackerley! You're up next!"

As the class, one by one, battled the Boggart, James found himself bored with their lack of creativity. Most of his classmates' fears were either of Death Eaters or some Dark Creature. James, to tell the truth, wasn't quite sure what his greatest fear was. Later, he realized he should have known all along.

Finally it was his turn. After seeing the girl in front of him turn a zombie into a fluffy white bunny, he was feeling pretty confident. He stepped in front of the case and waited for the Boggart to take shape. A short middle-aged woman with black hair and broken glasses appeared. She wore a pair of light green robes which were stained with huge spots of blood. Everywhere. He froze, trying very hard to keep breathing.

_"Calm down, it's just a Boggart, Dammit! It's not really her!" _

"You," whispered the woman, "You killed me."

James opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"It's all your fault that I died. You killed me. I could have been saved, and you killed me. Murderer!" she said, her voice getting louder with every word.

Murderer. The word echoed around the silent room and James was suddenly remembering Lily and what everyone said about her. How they all hated her, how they all feared her, and how she saved them all nonetheless.

He regained his senses and shouted, _"Riddikulus!" _

The woman turned to glass and shattered. James turned, and quickly walked back to his seat, just realizing that he was shaking.

"Quirke! You're up next!" called Towler, not looking the least bit perturbed.

James collapsed into his seat, aware of the entire class staring at him.

"P-prongs? What was…?"

He sighed and looked at his friends, and began to explain.

"When I was eight, my parents had to work late, and I had to go to work with my them. You probably know this, but they're Healers," it seemed like a different person was speaking for him, because James knew there was no way his voice could sound that calm, "There was an accident and a lot of people were brought in. Everyone was just rushing around and…and I," he paused trying to keep himself from shaking, "There was a woman…that woman… that nobody was paying attention to. She was bleeding all over. I went over and tried to help her. I asked her what happened, she tried to answer but started choking up blood. I tried to get her to the Healers, but they weren't paying attention. She died a minute later."

The entire class seemed to be listening.

"It was really my fault," he said quietly, "If I had only…If I had only gotten to the Healers faster…she might have…might have lived…"

He felt someone's hand on his back; he looked up into Lily's eyes.

"You can't change the past," she whispered, "No matter how hard you try. You didn't know any better. And," she paused, smiling sadly, "I'm sure that woman is glad that you tried to help her."

He stared at her, a strange feeling taking over his mind. His parents had tried to comfort him and he had spent six months in his room, afraid of going outside. Eventually he had gotten over the experience, but something had changed inside him after that day. Even now, it was a taboo topic and his parents never mentioned it. Maybe, maybe it was just because he fancied Lily or because she knew what it was like to really kill someone, but for some reason he felt like-

"Evans! Go!"

Lily stood up straight and walked smoothly up to the front of the classroom. The broken shards of glass on the floor immediately came together and formed a tall man with light brown hair. He had gigantic dark circles under his emerald green eyes and he was extremely pale.

_"Her father?"_

"Not now, child," the man said wearily, "Go ask your mother or Petunia. I have lots of work to do. It's hard raising a family…with _two_ children, " his eyes narrowed slightly and the tone of his voice changed, "We never wanted another child you know, you were a _mistake_." The word seemed to echo around the room and Lily flinched, her wand hung loosely in her fingers.

"_Get out of here_," her father said, in an angry voice, "You worthless-"

_"Riddikulus,"_ Lily said softly in a monotonous voice.

The man froze and seemed to deflate like a Muggle balloon. Lily turned around and looked like she was going to head back to her seat, but the deflated man popped and a woman with short dirty blonde hair appeared. She was wearing a skimpy red dress with her bra straps hanging out. Eye makeup and bright red lipstick was smeared on her face and she swayed from side to side as if she was drunk. She too had green eyes. The woman could have been beautiful if not for the crazy look on her face.

"Come here, Lily," she said, a strange smile on her face, "Sit here with Mummy. She's going to tell you a story. It's about a happy family. Once upon a time there was a Mummy and a Daddy and their beautiful daughter Petunia. But then…something bad happened. The Daddy got the Mummy pregnant again. The Daddy didn't want another baby, did he? Neither did the Mummy. So they tried to get rid of the baby. But it didn't work. They tried again. It didn't work. And again and again and again!" The crazed look on her face deepened and James suddenly felt afraid.

"Eventually the baby was born," the woman continued, her voice calm and serene again "That baby was you Lily. So always remember now, my _darling_, you weren't meant to be. You're a sick, freakish child and you're forever in my debt. Always remember that, my sweet child. When Daddy gets drunk and hits Mummy it's all _your_ fault. And when there's not enough food to go around-"

"Shut up."

James jumped. The voice was cold and emotionless and he had only heard it several times in his life. Lily Evans stood glaring at the image of her mother, shaking in anger or maybe it was fear. The woman seemed to be speechless, but she quickly regained her voice.

"Don't you _dare_ talk back to me," Isabel Evans whispered, "I am your mother! I gave birth to you, you ungrateful child!You'll never amount to anything you little slut! And you stand there, just-"

_"Riddikulus."_

The room was quiet again and Lily stood in front of the room, chest heaving, fists clenched, her eyes focused on the spot where her mother had stood.

The Boggart took longer to form again and James could tell that this was the last time it would get back up. Just on more go and it would die. But James didn't want Lily to face it. He would rather go up again the woman from St. Mungo's again than have her face people like her mother and father again. He wanted to cry out, to yell, to say "No, let me go!" but it was too late.

Another woman formed. But she was much younger. Maybe a little older than Lily was now. She had dirty blonde hair just like Lily's mother and a sneer just as bad on her face.

"You ruined everything," she said in a low, angry voice, "Before you were born we were happy. And now…now," the woman paused and angry tears fell down her face, "They're dead! You monster. Murderer! It's all your fault! Get out of here now. I don't ever want to see our face again! Why don't you just die and rid the world-" The Boggart's voice changed and suddenly it was lower, "-of your," and suddenly the woman burst into a bunch of unintelligible sounds and then exploded into flame and disappeared. The Boggart had worn itself out and had died.

"Very good!" Towler said, unperturbed as usual, "That, class, was an example of a Boggart exerting itself past its endurance and therefore killing itself. Pity, half the class couldn't go, but…Miss Evans?" he said questioningly.

Lily had slowly bent down and picked up her wand. Her bright green eyes swept the classroom, taking in all their faces. When her eyes reached him, she flinched and turned away. She froze and half-turned back to face him. She stopped and stared at the floor, shaking, and then walked quickly out of the room.

Lily's P.O.V.

Lily ran. There was nothing else to do. They knew now. What she had been hiding for ages, her entire life. Hiding the jealously of all the other kids; happy, innocent kids. Hiding her bruised, beaten, frightened self. They knew now and that was enough for Lily to die of shame.

_"It'll be around the school by tonight. I didn't want any of them to know. They'll hate me now! They'll use it to hurt me! You know how people are. It happened last time, I knew I was getting in too far! This is why I can't trust…I just can't."_

It was one thing to live on the streets, but now they knew about her parents…

"_They're going to laugh at me, the pathetic, useless, hideous person that I am…" _

Her legs took her up four flights of stairs and though several corridors. Finally she collapsed in a heap in the Astronomy Tower. She dragged herself against a wall and buried her face in her hands.

Lily wasn't crying. She would not be that weak. And crying never helped anyone.

She wasn't exactly sure why she was here. She shouldn't care if everyone knew about her parents and how they never wanted her in the first place. Logically, she knew, it was hardly any of their business. Logically, she knew that whether her parents had loved her or not, she still was the same person now. Logically, however, she knew that they would use it against her or even worse pity her. She had never told anyone about them and Petunia. Dumbledore had asked why her sister and her husband refused to take her in, but Lily had refused to answer truthfully. She told him her sister hadn't been stable enough to support a child and Lily ran away before they could put her in a children's home. Dumbledore, in retrospect, had probably known that she was lying, but he hadn't pushed it.

But that wasn't it. The world wasn't made up of logical concept, at least people weren't, and Lily wasn't an exception. Inside, irrationally as it was, she was terrified and ashamed. She had wanted no one to find out, not even James. She wanted to take the secret of who she was before the stealing and the streets, before the magic and the Death Eater to the grave. Because it was her weakness and she hated weak things. Weak things were pitied. Weak things were the first to be killed.

Time passed quickly, and suddenly it was dark out. Lily still hadn't moved and had no plans to do so anytime in the near future. The evening breeze caused her to shiver and press into the hard stone wall further. She heard footsteps, but she didn't move. They were bound to find her sooner or later, so she might as well get it over with. Or should she just leave, get out while she still could, and save herself from this humiliation?

"**Coward," **the voice whispered, as softly as the nighttime breeze,** "Coward!"**

"_What the _hell _do you know about-"_

"Lily?"

It was James' voice. She heard him move closer to her. Too close. She didn't want to be here. No, she didn't want _him_ to be here. She wanted to wallow in her own misery until the end of eternity.

"Are you alright?"

She didn't plan on answering, but the words just came out.

"I-I'm fine," she said hoarsely, her voice muffled slightly as she spoke into her lap.

She hoped that he would just leave her alone and stop being so nice to her when everyone knew she didn't deserve it…

"You don't look alright."

Lily blinked, and contemplated raising her head to stare at him. But she didn't. What was she supposed to say to that?

"You know dinner is almost over, you should come down if you wanna eat."

There was a pause and then he put his hand on her shoulder. It felt funny. And foreign. Lily knew it was supposed to a comforting gesture, but she was unused to comfort of any form.

"Lily-"

"I'm just…just," she started, wanting to pour out everything and tell him so she wouldn't be so goddamn alone, but then…, "Fine. I'm fine. I just need some time by myself…," she said in a hollow, voice not meaning at all what she was saying, "…to think. Please leave."

He knelt down beside her. His hand still hadn't moved.

"Don't say that," he said softly, "We both know it's not true."

She froze, pressing her hands harshly against the stone floor.

**"He's right," **said the voice.

"Lily, I-I…don't really know how to say this," he started, "And I'm not going to pretend to know what you went though."

Lily flinched.

"But," he continued, "J-Just…you know, keep being strong. And, well, I'm here…and Remus and Sirius and Peter too, right? So…don't be afraid to ask us for help and-"

"Why?" she whispered more to herself than him.

"Huh?"

"Why do you…why do you care? I don't understand…never did."

He gave a soft chuckle and for a second Lily was furious. How dare he laug-

"Sorry, it's not really funny, but I…, well, it's just that I can't really explain something like that. I mean, you're friends with who you're friends with. I couldn't tell you why I'm friends with Sirius, or Peter, or Remus. It's just…I am."

"But none of them are murderers," Lily said softly.

There was a pause.

"Lily," James said finally, "Look, I'm not going to say that death and killing doesn't scare me, because it does."

Lily felt like someone had just stabbed her in the chest. Of course it scares him, she thought, like it would any _normal_ person…But his hand was still on her shoulder.

"But we're in the middle of a war," he said softly, "And if you didn't kill, the Death Eaters would hurt more people. Stunning really does only so much. And it isn't like they didn't deserve death for what they've done," James said, and Lily knew he was thinking of his grandparents who had been murdered by Death Eaters in fifth year.

"And besides," he continued, "My friends may not fight Death Eaters, but Remus is a werewolf and Sirius's family are one of the darkest families of all."

"But _why_?" Lily said, "Why should _I _decide? What right do _I_ have to choose who lives or dies?" she lifted her head for the first time and looked him straight into his surprised, innocent brown eyes, "You don't know the answer, do you?"

For some odd reason she was disappointed.

"Does anyone?" he said softly, sadly almost, "Lily, anyone who kills in cold blood like _they _do forfeits the right to live themselves. It doesn't really matter that you killed them. It matters that you saved me, you saved Sirius and Remus and Peter, and you saved half of Hogwarts. If I were in your shoes I would have done the same thing."

It would have been easy to be angry. To tell James that he didn't know what he was talking about and couldn't possibly understand. To tell him that his idealistic nonsense was just that and that no matter how many people she saved, her sins would never be atoned for.

But maybe he was right. Maybe it didn't matter. Maybe the end did justify the means. As long as she protected the innocent she could hardly go wrong…right?

"I don't understand," Lily said softly.

"Don't worry," he said, "Neither do I. I don't think anyone does."

Lily leaned back, suddenly at ease and stared at the stars.

"You know," she said, her voice breaking, "All I ever wanted was someone to love me. My parents only wanted one child and they always hated me for being their second. It got bad after I turned three, I think. I can't really remember that much. They'd both always be drunk and Petunia and I were always hiding. She was thirteen years older than me and I think she always resented me because my parents weren't bad people before I was born. But after I was born it sort of spiraled down into a whole big mess. I think my father lost his job and couldn't get another one. And then one day, they went out and didn't come back. I remember Petunia coming over and screaming on the phone. She got married right out of high school to this man named Vernon, I think. They were both there and there was lots of yelling. I remember Petunia screaming at me and then the next thing I knew we were driving and then they left me behind. I couldn't have been older than five. She told me she'd come back for me. I trusted her. But she never did. I swore, much later, that I'd never trust anyone again.

I was always fighting after that. I fought for food, fought for places to sleep, and fought the strange people who always wanted to take me away. And then, the Hogwarts letter came. I had known there was something strange about me ever since I was born, but I had never dreamed there was something out there as wonderful as magic."

There was something wet on her cheeks. She sat up again and wiped the water off and stared at her own hand.

"What's…why?"

She was crying. Lily hadn't cried since…she can't even remember, maybe when she realized that Petunia wasn't ever going to come back.

"Bugger, stupid…bloody," she rubbed her eyes harder, "They won't go away!"

"Lily, it's oka-"

"No, no, it's not!" she sobbed, bending over to hide her face, "It's bad and weak and they won't stop!"

Suddenly, there were arms around her and she stiffened. It took a few seconds for her to realize that James was hugging her, and the she didn't know what to do. She couldn't even remember if anyone had hugged her in her entire life.

But it was too hard to think right now and she was so tired, sad, and broken; so she grabbed onto him and held him as tight as she could, thinking; "Please, please, never go away. Don't leave me alone!"

And he didn't. He didn't disappear like a dream or like everyone else has in Lily's life. And Lily stayed there for what seems like years or seconds, she couldn't be sure. When the moment had passed she let him go and sat up straight, wiping her eyes on the sleeve on her robes.

"Sorry," she said softly, not looking into his eyes.

"Don't apologize," he said seriously.

Sorr- I mean, okay."

There was a silence and Lily looked up at the stars again.

"Are you okay now?"

Lily smiled, "Yeah."

**A/N: IMPORTANT NOTICE: Unfortunately, Zephyras has finally died after a long battle against writing excessive angst and cheesiness/romance. She will be sorely missed.**

**Just kidding! Yah! Thirteenth chapter! I apologize for the romancy (not a word!) stuff, I was never very good at writing it. **

**For you people who read TPTA before I revised it, you'd have noticed that I changed a lot in this chapter. I just felt the old version of this was done really badly and was too melodramatic (yes, people who hadn't read this before I revised it, it was more melodramatic than this). **

**Also, I just wanted to say that I'm not making any judgments about birth control and abortion above, I'm just telling a story.**

**Please review if you have any question or even if you don't. Until next time! **


	14. Death's Invasion

Chapter Fourteen-

It took about a month in a half for the rumors and the gossip about Lily Evans' childhood and home-life to die down. The teachers acted like they hadn't noticed anything unusual about the subject of the students' gossip, but Lily had caught McGonagall and few other teachers staring at her once and a while. That was why she hadn't wanted anyone to know. Because they all _pitied_ her and she hated that more than anything else in the world. She felt strange and exposed, something she had always associated with danger. Lily felt that whenever they looked at her they could see right through her and know who she really was, not the façade she had kept on since first year in order to protect herself. During that month it was not unusual that Lily would go up to the tallest towers far away from people, just to be alone and not have to endure anymore whispers and stares. Sometimes, it was all she could do to not yell at all the people staring at her, _"No, Goddammit! I'm not mental or unstable in any way shape or form! Now mind your own bloody business!" _

Having friends, people who didn't care about her past and didn't mind her presence helped a lot. At first she thought that the discovery of the nature of her childhood would be the last straw, and that they would slowly remove themselves from her life, afraid, like the rest of the world, for her sanity. But they hadn't. It would be the first of many tests to their friendship, but Lily would always be grateful for this one small act of kindness.

It was June now and the seventh years N.E.W.T.s were upon them. Lily had even caught James and Sirius studying, which resulted in her laughing for twenty minutes straight.

Everything in the castle was tense, as it usually was during exams, but there was something else. It was a strange feeling; even the Daily Prophet's stories weren't as outrageous as they usually were. Something was going to happen, Lily could feel it. It was even worse than what she had felt right before Halloween. She confided her suspicions to her friends and they agreed with her. Something very big was going to happen.

Besides the growing danger, Lily was very happy. It was a very strange thing, she reflected, to wake up in a world where, suddenly not only one person but four people cared if you lived or died. She had been alone all her life and as a result, it took getting used to. It was strange but also comforting. It was, Lily decided, a nice feeling, being wanted. It was nice, sitting by the lake studying for their N.E.W.T.s and playing around with the giant squid. It was nice, joking with James when they were patrolling the corridors. Out her four friends Lily had to admit that James was the one she was closest to. He was the one who always cheered her up if she felt depressed and made sure she didn't study _too_ much. She liked James a lot, and was very glad to have him as a friend. She was glad to have them all as friends. Even though Lily had resolved to leave if any trouble would befall them because of her, it was getting harder and harder to imagine the concept of life without James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"_Hmm…I wonder when Hell is going to freeze over and when Voldemort will start handing out presents to Muggles?" _Lily thought as she left her room to meet Sirius, James, and Peter in the Common Room, _"After all, Lily Evans, the most unsocial student in Hogwarts, did make friends." _

She grinned and walked quickly down the dark corridors towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Password?" the Fat Lady asked, yawning loudly.

"_Terminus,_" Lily said and walked through the portrait hole.

"Finally!" Sirius hissed when she entered.

"Sorry," she said in a low voice.

"Never mind that!" Peter said, his voice a nervous squeak, "We'd better hurry, the moon's almost risen!"

James nodded, looking pale.

It had always been like this, Lily's noticed. This was only the 6th full moon she had been with them on (she and James had to miss two because of patrolling duties) and they always looked so solemn. It was strange because they were always joking around and laughing, and you'd have thought that after two years of doing this, they'd be a little more at ease. But they weren't, and that was a mark signifying the difference between their upbringings and hers. But then again, this was the last full moon they'd be at Hogwarts.

"This is weird," Peter said as they climb slowly down a staircase, "I mean, this is it, you know. The last time. What are we going to do after this?"

"We'll figure out a way," James said confidently.

"Yeah," Sirius said, "With my brains it'll be a piece of cake!"

Peter and James stifled sniggers and Lily walked behind them all, feeling awkward. She didn't feel like she should be here with them this time. She felt like this should be something between them. Something special. The last time they could be together with Remus, the friend they not only monthly risked expulsion for, but also their lives. James had told her the tale of how they figured out his lycantrophy and how they became Animagi for him. Lily was touched by this and understood the value of this bond of friendship between them. And only between them. She had always known that she could never just _become_ one of them. There were too many memories and secrets between them and things she could never hope to understand. She could still be their friend, of course, as she intended to be, but this should only be between them. The Marauders.

As they slide out of the main doors and started walking down the grounds, Lily made her decision.

"Why…Why don't you three go ahead," she said softly as James pulls out his Invisibility Cloak.

"Huh?" James said, looking back at her, confusion evident on his face even in the dark.

"What do you mean?" Sirius said.

"Go on," Lily said smiling, "I mean, this is the last time. You…you four should be together, you know."

James frowned and looked like he wants to argue, but Sirius seemed to understand.

"You sure?" he asked.

Lily smiled and nodded.

"Lily…" James said, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Don't worry," Lily said, "Don't keep him waiting."  
And with that, she transformed into the eerie looking wolf, whose form had took three full moons to gain Remus' respect and ran off in the opposite direction.

The feeling of being in her wolf form was hard to describe. It was like being free, but she was also limited at the same time. It was less complex than being human, but at the same time much more complicated. It was full of contradictions, so Lily had learned to not think at all about what she felt, but just learned to simply do.

She ran around the school and came to stop at the lake. She looked down and saw her own reflection in the water and stared at it for awhile. It was strange seeing her reflection, even her human one. Lily never really had mirrors around as a child and so it was a surprise every time she saw her face in the mirror. As a wolf, it was no different. As she looked closer, she could see slight resemblances between her human and Animagi form like the shape of her face and color of her eyes. Lily doubted there had ever been a wolf with green eyes. She shook her head back and forth in an incredibly canine way and lay down on the grass, ignoring the howls and barks in the distance.

They would be leaving Hogwarts soon. It seemed impossible that the seven years had passed so quickly, but there it was. Lily didn't know what was going to happen. Was she ever going to get a job? Or would no one hire her because of what she was? She knew it was very unlikely that Remus, being a werewolf, would get a job. Wizards and witches were terrified of him because he became a monster once a month. However, she was a monster _all _the time. Logically, there should be a less chance of being accepted. But then what would she do? Take a Muggle job? Lily hadn't even gone to primary school, much less university. She supposed she could fake it all by magic, but was there really a Muggle job that she would be interested in? And more importantly, would the Ministry just arrest her once she was outside of Dumbledore's jurisdiction? She knew she was an important asset to the Order of the Phoenix, but did he have enough power in the Ministry to save her from Azkaban? Not that she would let them take her to prison, but then she would become a fugitive, a life she had no interest in living. Tomorrow exams would start and then there would only be a week left until graduation. And then…Lily didn't know what. She supposed she would go back to her old building and then apply to be an Auror; if they let her. If not, and if Lily couldn't find someone who would hire her, she would try for a Muggle job. Maybe a police officer or something like that.

Lily realized that if she stayed here anymore she would fall asleep, so she got up and trotted back up the castle doors. She then transformed into a human and slid through the door and went back up to her dormitory. She looked through her Transfiguration notes one last time and then went to bed.

It was strange how stressed out everyone was during exams. Lily had never been a very low-key person, but things like exams didn't seem to have the same effect on her that they did on the rest of the population of Hogwarts, especially the 5th and 7th years. Lily knew that her future and her classmates' depended on the results of the tests, but for some reason it didn't seem like something to get worked up over. She was not like James and Sirius, who pretended that they had it in the bag and claimed they studied only because Remus forced them to. And she was not like Remus and Peter, who were terrified of exams and were both convinced that they would fail. Exams were important, yes, but the only thing that really seemed to stress her out was fighting. Lily wasn't really sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

The first few days of the week passed quickly and Lily was probably more confident about her scores than she should be. The Examiners stared at her strangely when they tested her, but they had enough sense not to say anything, though sometimes Lily wished that they would.

The practical test in Herbology was the only one that Lily was sure she failed. Potions and Charms were very simple, and Transfiguration was only slightly harder than she expected. The practical Defense Against the Dark Arts was all too easy and the only hitch was that the Examiner was very obviously terrified of her. All too soon, it was Friday and it was time to take her last exam, the written Defense Against the Dark Arts N.E.W.T. Because there were only twelve students taking the test, they were not in the Great Hall, but instead in an unused class room on the 5th floor.

Lily slid into a seat next to James, Remus, and Sirius. Peter was the only one of their group that wasn't there because he wanted to go into business, rendering a DADA N.E.W.T. useless. Lily though that it incredibly important in this day and age to know how to protect oneself, but Peter hadn't been able to qualify for the N.E.W.T. class, so there was nothing she could do about it. The credit was essential for Remus, who had always had an interest in Dark Creatures and wanted a job working with them. All of them, even Remus himself, knew that it was very improbable that he would get a job at all, much less one that he liked, but none of them said anything. Sirius wanted to be a curse-breaker, and although James really wanted to be a professional Quidditch player, he took the class anyway.

Lily looked around and noticed that Dumbledore, who had watched over all their previous N.E.W.T.s, was not there. Shrugging it off, she watched as the Examiner walked into the room, scratching her quill absentmindedly against the desk.

"Hello everyone!" said Professor Marchbanks, a short middle-aged woman, who was always disappointed that the students weren't more excited about test taking. "You know the drill, everyone find your seats, if your last name starts with 'A' come sit in the front and if your last name starts with 'Z' in the back, Come on now!"

"Good luck," Lily whispered to her friends and went to sit near the front.

Professor Marchbanks passed out the exams, "I know you've gone through this many times before, but let me remind you that cheating is not tolerated," Marchbanks said loudly, "If any of you are caught cheating, you will get an immediate zero and will be suspended from this school."

Lily filled a few questions out quickly, wanting to get the test over with as soon as possible. She got about halfway through and then the questions started to get longer and fancier, making them harder to understand. Lily frowned and was dipping her quill into her ink bottle when she saw it. Her ring was glowing. She stared at it for a while, not comprehending what it meant until a few seconds had past. Lily felt the blood drain from her face and her stomach felt like it was full of lead.

_"What?! B-but that's impossible. It has half a kilometer range which means they're…"_

"…on the grounds? Here? But how would they…?" she whispered desperately, shaking all over. The ring's glow was the brightest she had ever seen it.

_"There's a lot… a full scale attack?! Is this is? Voldemort wants Hogwarts?!"_

"Excuse m-," Lily started, but she was immediately cut off.

"Not now, dear, the time for questions has already elapsed. Please proceed with the exam, "Marchbanks said briskly.

"But-"

"Not now, child!" Marchbanks said, starting to sound annoyed.

"What's wrong?" Sirius mouthed, turned around in his seat.

Lily held up her ring and he looked confused. However, in the next row, Remus seemed to remember what she had told them about the ring and went as white as a sheet.

"Professor-" he stared, his voice shaking slightly.

"Not you too!"

"But there's somet-" he said, gaining confidence, but his next words were cut off by scream that seemed to be coming from several floors below them.

The entire room went silent and nobody moved. Marchbanks looked startled, but quickly recovered herself.

"S-settle down now, everyone! I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Now please continue with your tes-"

The scream started again, except they were coming from above them now.

"Death Eaters," Lily said softly.

A few people gasped in horror, but the rest of them looked too shocked to say anything.

She stood up, "I'll go."

"You'll do no such thing!"

Lily turned to look at Marchbanks, surprised.

"_I'll_ go," the woman said, "You are…much too young and technically under qualified."

Lily drew herself up, "This is no time to be worried about technicali-"

"You do know how much trouble I'll get in if I let students go and investigate this…disturbance? Preposterous! You must stay here," she said addressing the entire group, "I will go and see what the trouble is."

"But-"

"No, no," the woman said, cutting her off the umpteenth time, as she walked towards the door.

Lily was just about to ask how stupid this old woman was to think that she could just walk out in the middle of a Death Eater attack when Marchbanks said something that she would never forget.

"Lock the door," she said seriously, "Don't open it for anyone. Understood?"

"Don't be an idiot," Sirius said, standing, "Didn't you hear what Lily said? There's bloody _Death Eaters _in the castle! Are you stupid or just incredibly-"

"Language, Mr. Black!" she said, her chin held high, "And please do not insult my intelligence. I know what I'm doing."

Sirius gaped at her and a few other students voiced their concerns but Marchbanks would hear none of it.

"Please be silent!" she said, "You are to lock the door and stay in this room until…I return. Do you understand!?"

And then Lily realized what she was going to do. She stared at the woman in horror, not fully comprehending it.

"Don't do this," she said, her voice shaking, "I can…I'll go. Don't- I can take care of it… I-I'm good at stuff like this. Honestly, it one of the only things I am…"

She was pleading and she didn't know why, but she knew that if she didn't something horrible would happen and-

Marchbanks smiled at her. It was not a happy smile, but a sad, understanding one, "I'll lock you in," she said and Lily drew her wand to stop her, lock the door so she can't leave, stun her, _anything_, but it's too late. The door was closed and Lily heard the woman's voice casting a spell.

"Fuck!"

Lily leapt over a desk and crashed into another, barely hearing the startled cries of her classmates. She slammed herself against the door, anger and fear coursing through her, causing her to forget magic for the moment.

"Dammit! Bugger this-open this door, Marchbanks! Don't do this, you idiot! Open this door!"

She smashed her fists against it until they start to bleed. It was only then that she remembered her wand. She tried any spells she can remember, even as simple as _Alohamora! _but to no avail. The door did not budge and Lily was on the verge of hysteria.

"Sirius!" she called, turning around to face her shocked and confused classmates, "You're good at curse breaking, aren't you? Open this door!"

"Lily, wha-"

"Open it!"

He looked at her like she was insane, but complied, muttering spells that Lily had never even heard before.

"Lily," James said, putting his hand on her shoulder, "What's going on?"

"Idiot," she whispered, "That complete idiot! She's going to get herself killed! She did it on purpose, James! She's not stupid, I thought that at first, but she doesn't mean to…" she couldn't say it.

"Come back?" Remus said, eyes wide, "Lily are you sure-"

"It's open!" Sirius yelled.

Lily pulled herself free from James' restraining arm and ran down the halls, people in the painting shouting at her as she went. She turns a corner and then stopped dead. Marchbanks lay still on the floor, her unseeing eyes staring at a place above Lily's head. Lily swallowed and her knees shook and gave way.

"Stupid," she said, "So stupid! How could you think you could-_should­ _protect us! I didn't _need_ your protection! I can do fine on my own! Why did you have to-" Lily shook pressing her hands to the cold marble floor, "-die?"

"Stupid," she said again, "Stupid…"

"FREEZE!"

Lily turns around in alarm to see three cloaked figures with masks. Their wands were out and Lily's right hand was itching to grab hers, but she restrains herself.

" I said, don't move!" said the Death Eater in the front, "This school is now in the possession of the Dark Lord. Swear loyalty to him and you will be spared!"

Lily laughed; a harsh, grim sound that echoed through the hallways and silenced the terrified portraits howls.

"So," she said, casually scratching her arm where her second wand was concealed, "If I join you then I won't be killed, right?"

She could tell they we slightly unnerved at her casual dismissal of the idea.

"Yes," said a Death Eater cautiously.

"So… it doesn't matter who we are, just if we join you, is it?" she said forcing herself to keep her voice calm.

Revenge could wait. This wolf charmed its prey before pouncing.

"What are you trying to say? Who are you?!"

She grinned; a sadistic, evil looking smile that she wore often.

"Lily," she whispered, carefully pronouncing every syllable, "Evans."

The Death Eaters plunged their hands into their robes, but Lily was too quick for them. Half a minute later, three Death Eaters lay on the floor, stunned. And Lily didn't understand why they weren't dead. She should have killed them. They deserved it.

**"Ahh, but the question is do you have the right to be their executioner?"**

And to that Lily had no answer.

She conjured gags and ropes and tied them up. She dragged them over to an empty classroom, dumped them inside, and locked it. Lily came to stand over Marchbanks body. She closed the woman's eyes and picked her up. She was lighter than she expected. Lily carried her back to the classroom. The door was unlocked and when she opened it fourteen pairs of eyes stare back at her.

"Is she-" Dorcas Meadows started, but fell silent at the look Lily gave her.

Lily didn't say anything as she put the woman down, leaning her against the desk in the front of the class.

There was a long silence.

"Lily," James said, "What do we do?"

She blinked and turned towards him, surprised at his interjection.

"What?"

"We have to do something," he said with such conviction that Lily wants to ask him why, "What do we do?"

They were all looking at her like she was some sort of leader or authority. And Lily, for the life of her, couldn't think of why.

**A/N: Angsty… Sorry for the long wait! I had Writer's Block for ages and I was also very busy. Thank you to all my awesome reviewer and my beta, you really inspire me to keep writing! Please review!**


	15. Good, Evil, And All In Between

Chapter Fifteen-

James' P.O.V.

"I-" Lily said, anxiously, an unreadable expression on her face. She looked confused and uncertain and James couldn't help sympathize with her. But there was no time!

"Lily," he said carefully, grabbing her forearm, "Lily, you're the most experienced in…these matters. What. Do. We. Do?"

"Umm…I-" she glanced down at her glowing ring, and then her face changed. She swallowed, "R-Right."

"Lily," Remus said softly; he had always been better at being subtle than James had.

"Do you have the map?" she asked James suddenly.

James blinked and shook his head.

"Where is it?"

"Sirius?" James asked, desperately.

"It's in my trunk," he said, "Usually, I just leave it there until-"

"We need to get it," she said, cutting him off and brushing her hair back and putting it into a bun.

"Cloak?" she said.

James shook his head, "In my trunk."

"You two go and get it," she told them, "The rest of us," she gestured towards the rest of the class who looked bewildered at their exchange, "We'll meet you…wait, find Peter first. He's in the North Tower for Divination, and after that…Owl Dumbledore and then…well, you'll probably hear us," she said grimly.

"Now," she said addressing the rest of the class, "Since you are all taking this N.E.W.T., I can safely assume that you can defend yourselves. Dumbledore obviously isn't here, so we're on our own. We're going to search the castle. If you see any Death Eaters, stun them or whatever. Any students we find over…say…third year will be required to help out, third years and under will be sent to the kitchens. You know where they are?" she asked.

A few students nodded, but it was obvious to James that most had no idea.

"Any questions?"

"Shouldn't we…" a boy whose name James didn't know, said nervously, "I mean, shouldn't we just wait for the Ministry…"

Lily gave a short laugh, "By the time they get here, it'll be too late. Let's go."

Sirius and James set out, using every secret passage they knew to avoid the main hallways. They were walking, bent low through a passage and were just about to exit it when James heard voices.

"Padfoot!" he hissed, "Wait!"

"You hear 'em too?"

"Yeah…"

"Be quiet, you idiots," a voice said from the other side of the tapestry Sirius had been about to push aside, "Remember the Dark Lord's orders, you fools!"

"I don't understand," another voice complained, "Why does this have to be so secretive? Why can't we just take the castle instead of wandering about like morons?"

"Fool!" the first voice hissed, "Weren't you in Slytherin? Listen, if we run around making noise, someone is bound to alert the Ministry, the Order of the Phoenix, or both! We don't have enough men to cover every single person in the castle! That's why we need the element of surprise! Now shut your trap and-" the voices and footsteps faded away and James and Sirius looked at each other.

'Should we tell Lily?' Sirius mouthed.

James shook his head, 'I don't think it matters one way or another. And besides, she probably already knows,' he mouthed back.

They ran into another group of Death Eater, but fortunately, they were able to remain undetected. They were in the Charms corridor when they heard screams. They dashed towards the door and James was about to run in, when Sirius grabbed his arm.

"What are you doing?" he hissed, over the screams "Don't just run in there!"

"But-"

"Just, wait!"

Sirius edged closer to the frame of the door and took a tiny glance. He paled considerably and yanked his head back looking sick.

"Three of them," he said, "Flitwick's unconscious or dea…and they're torturing two…first years, I think.

"We can take the-" James started, but then the screaming stopped and was replaced by pitiful sobs.

"Mudblood filth!" a cruel voice said, "You-"

And James lost it. He threw himself through the door, _"STUPEFY!" _

The Death Eater fell to the floor and his companions started at him in shock.

"Who's the filth now!?" James hissed shaking in anger.

_"Reducto!" _one of the remaining Death Eaters cried.

_"Protego!"_ Sirius countered and the spell bounced his shield and shattered the wall beside him. A few first years screamed and ducked for cover.

_"Crucio!"_ the other cloaked figure screamed and James thanked Merlin for his Quidditch reflexes as he dodged the Unforgivable.

_"Stupefy!"_ Sirius shouted and then there was one Death Eater left.

"Give it up!" James snarled.

_"Avada Kedavra!" _she tried, but the spell missed and James lunged at her, catching her around the waist and both of them fell to the floor.

_"Stupefy!"_ he heard Sirius cry and then the Death Eater went limp.

"What the hell are you thinking?!" Sirius asked him, pulling him up, "Are you trying to get yourself killed!"

"Three words," James told him dazedly, "Element of surprise."

Sirius blinked, "You didn't…you did?" James nodded and Sirius groaned, "And I thought, _I _was supposed to be the impulsive one!"

James gave a small grin and they both turned to survey the damage. James conjured some ropes and set about tying the hands of the unconscious Death Eaters behind their backs.

"Professor Flitwick?" he heard Sirius say, "Professor Flitwick! _Enervate!_ Professor Flitwick, wake u…"

James turned after gagging the three to see Sirius' contorted face.

"Padfoot?" he asked, "What-"

"He's dead," Sirius said.

There was a silence only broken by a sniffle of a first year.

"Oh," James said.

Flitwick was pale and appeared asleep. The horrible calm look on his face made James turn and empty his lunch onto the classroom floor.

"Bloody hell," he whispered.

"James, we've got to go. We've got to take them to the kitchens…"

"Ye-Yeah," James said, wiping the sick off his mouth.

He turned around again forced himself not to look at the Flitwick, but to the terrified first years.

"You take them," he said, a plan forming in his head.

"What?" Sirius said, looking confused, "What are you talking about?"

"I'll get the map and the Cloak," James said, rumpling his hair from habit, "You take them to the kitchen and Floo the Ministry. I'll Owl Dumbledore and we'll meet at the North Tower."

"Prongs, we've got to stick together! You can't just go off on your own! What if-"

"We have no time, Sirius!" James said turning around, "Don't you understand! Right, now there could be more students and teachers who are…" he trailed off.

Sirius swallowed, "Alright," he said, "Alright."

James flashed him a grin, "Don't worry. I won't die."

And then he was gone.

Lily's P.O.V.

They all walked quickly through the corridors. Lily kept to the front.. Everyone was tense and alert and jumped at the slightest sound, it was almost amusing, like one of those Muggle spy movie. Except it wasn't a Muggle movie, it was real. Any one of them could die at any moment. There could be Death Eaters around any corner and there were no teachers or Dumbledore to help them. They were terrified, she knew, and they had good reason to be. This was many of their worst nightmares.

Lily stopped and signaled for them to stop as well and edged around a corner. She slid back and mouthed 'Death Eaters' and they all froze. Lily took another look and held up four fingers. Four Death Eaters. She coughed loudly. The rest of them froze and she smirked. Lily signaled for them to lean as close to the wall as they could.

'Quietly' she mouthed, 'Non-verbal if you can.'

"What was that?' a voice, said, "It came from over here." They walked around the corner and ten precise, non-verbal, Stunners hit them and they keeled over.

"Nice!" Lily whispered as she conjured robes and gags. They dragged them into a broom cupboard and cast a charm on the cupboard, which made it look it was just part of the wall. They walked on. In the next half an hour they found twenty other Death Eaters in groups of four or five and took care of them without event. They also came upon a score of first and third year students in the library that were completely unaware of the Death Eaters. They were escorted them down to the kitchens and promised Lily they would contact the Ministry from the fireplace.

She was just beginning to feel confident that this would not be so bad after all, until she heard the screams. They had just been walking through the Transfiguration corridor and were starting to become lax. Some had even begun to talk amongst themselves. Lily kicked open the door and they all ran into the room. A gruesome sight lay before their eyes. Professor McGonagall lay unconscious at the front of the room along with five other students, two boys both lay on the floor screaming under the Cruciatus Curse, and two Death Eaters stood above the torture victim and the other three stood menacing the rest of the class. They all whirled around as they burst into the room.

"You filthy little tosse-" Meadows started shaking with rage.

"H-how," Lily stammered, " How dare-"

She drew her knives and the next thing she knew the two Death Eaters who were torturing the students fell to the floor with a thud.

She ran over to them and pulled her knives out, not sure whether to be glad or not that they weren't dead.

"You-" snarled one of them and Lily stunned him and the other one before they could get another word in.

"Thank Merlin," Remus said, and Lily turned around " McGonagall's alive," he told her.

She hurried over to Meadows who had conjured some sheets and was in the act of placing them over the five students on the floor. She stopped.

"Are they…" Lily trailed off, knowing the answer.

"Dead," she monotonously, "All of them, the Killing Curse, didn't feel a thing."

A girl in the back began sobbing and clutched her friend who stared unbelievingly at the bodies.

_"No, don't think about it," _Lily told herself, _"You'll only end up getting angry and doing something stupid." _

She turned away from the bodies and addressed the remaining students.

"What year are you?" she asked softly, scrutinizing them, they looked older than eleven, but were they older than thirteen?

"Fourteen," whispered a boy with red hair and freckles, " We're fourth years."

"Lily they're fourth years, but do they really have to-" Remus started

"Of course," she cut him off, "Except for those two obviously."

"But they just lost five classmates, surely…" he trailed off.

Lily sighed, "I know how you feel, but we need every kid we can get. Right now it seems like they're trying to be conspicuous and pick us off one by one, but classes are going to end soon and then they'll be out in the open. If we don't get as many as we can now, more people will die or get hurt. Technically, they should know enough magic to fight. You're coming with us," she told them.

"_Don't you dare complain."_

Behind her Stimpson swore.

"What?" Lily asked him, turning around.

"I can't enervate her," he said worriedly, pushing back his blond hair.

"What did they hit her with?" she asked one of the fourth years.

"When they came in she tried to stop them and they all stunned her at the same time," said a dark haired girl.

She needs medical attention," Lily said, swallowing.

Dorcas Meadows walked over to McGonagall and picked her up.

"I'll take her and the rest down to the kitchens," she said, "and then Floo them," she pointed to the unconscious fourth years, "and her over to Saint Mungo's."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" asked Lily, frowning slightly.

She just smiled, " I'll be fine."

They set off once again. This time everyone was at least twice as tense as before. Lily knew everyone was still shaken after what had happened in the Transfiguration classroom. It was better, though, that they knew what they were up against.

**"As in it was worth the deaths of those fourth years?"**

_"Ten minutes until classes end," _she thought, mostly to distract herself,_ "Bollocks!"_

They were just walking past their DADA classroom in order to reach the next staircase when Remus stopped them.

"Everyone stop!" he hissed, cupping his hand around his ear, "Did you hear that?"

Lily knelt down and pressed her ear to the floor.

"It sounds like screaming," she whispered.

The words 'more screaming' went unspoken.

"C'mon!"

They ran at full speed down two flights of stairs before it became apparent that they were on the right floor. Whipping around a corner, Lily came face-to-face with Sirius and a bunch of first years. Along with fifteen Death Eaters.

A small girl with mousy brown hair lay screaming on the floor, a figure in black standing over her. Three first years lay unconscious on the far end of the room and Sirius was half kneeling, half sitting, blood seeping out of his mouth. Nobody noticed her watching them. Lily couldn't move; she tried with all her might to raise her wand, to pull out her daggers, but she couldn't.

_"Move, Goddammit! Move! You've seen worse than this! Move! Do something!"_

But she couldn't, she felt herself shaking, but besides that she could do nothing.

The Death Eater who was torturing the girl, began to laugh.

"Take that, Mudblood scum!" she laughed, as she cast the Cruciatus Curse once again, "Yes, scream all you want! No one's going to save you!"

Sirius struggled to stand, "Stop it, Bellatrix! She's your bloody niece, for Merlin's sake! STOP IT!"

More bloody tricked down his chin and he sunk to his knees in pain.

Bellatrix Black paid him no heed, but laughed even harder.

"BELLATRIX! STOP IT, DAMN YOU!" Sirius screamed, "STOP IT, PLEASE!"

Lily still couldn't move.

"BELLATRIX! STOP IT!"

_"Lily, what are you doing? STOP!!"_

"Please, she's your goddamn niece!"

_"You're no sister of mine!! Get out!"_

"STOP IT, PLEASE!"

"Sh-shit, Petunia…" Lily muttered wildly, "Dammit…"

Suddenly Lily was running, past her classmates, past two surprised Death Eaters, and past Sirius. Straight at Bellatrix Black. She didn't stop to draw her wand, her daggers or any of her weapons. In her rage she didn't have time to think, just do. She ran straight up to Black and punched her as hard as she could in the back of the head. As if in slow-motion, Black, with the look of utmost surprise on her face, flew into the wall and slid down, leaving a trail of blood as she went.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!!"

The entire corridor fell silent. Lily stood in the middle of the corridor breathing heavily, her hand still curled into a fist and dripping blood.

"_Stupefy! Stupefy!"_

Two Death Eaters went down. Lily turned around to see the rest of her classmates, who had just turned the corner. All the fight had gone out of the Death Eaters at the sight Lily and they were no match for the fury of the rest of the DADA N.E.W.T. class. After it was over, Remus ran to Sirius, and Lily and the rest gathered around the fallen first years. Lily enervated three of them. The rest she let rest in peace.

Still in shock, she staggered over to Bellatrix Black's limp form and checked her pulse. Alive. Black moaned and attempted to sit up. Lily's hand tightened around her throat. How dare she! How dare she!! Who was she to decide who lived and who died? All these people…all these kids, these innocent kids, were never to rise again because of her. They had never done a thing to deserve this. Why…?

She pushed Black's head up against the wall, hand tight around her neck, and stared ruthlessly into her terrified eyes.

"_All because of you, you bitch! You should just die!" _

"**Now aren't we being a little hypocritical here?"**

"_What?"_

"**How many people have you killed?" **

"_S-shut up! What else could I have done? Let them kill me?"_

"**You could have escaped, you're very good at running away you know."**

"_But-"_

"**But what? **

"_I-I…"_

"**You can't even come up with an answer, can you? How pathetic."**

"_But, sh-she…look at what she did…"_

"**So you think you can decide that she should die? Is that it?"**

"_No! I mean…I-I…"_

"**If you really wanted to make her suffer, let her go to Azkaban, don't kill her mindlessly."**

"_But…she…all of them.."_

"**Put her down. Just let go, it's easy."**

"_I-"_

"Lily what are you doing?" Remus asked her sharply, and she knew that he understood. He too had a monster inside of him.

"**But at least he **_**isn't**_** the monster."**

Lily realized everyone was staring at her, she let Black slide to the floor.

" I was-never mind."

She stared down at the floor, all too aware of the uncomfortable silence surrounding her.

Lily looked around at the people who were standing around the mess of unconscious Death Eaters and dead students.

"Sirius," she said, starting to shake, "W-Where's James-"

The bell rang.

"Dammit!"

Her classmates looked up to her. She was confused for a second until she realized they were looking at her for orders.

"Alright," she said, her mind racing, "Fenwick, McDonald, Ackerley, and Dobbs you stay here and take care everyone else, keep the blood from flowing and make sure they don't have fevers. Remus, stay with the Sirius…"

A huge crash below them disrupted any further conversation. With a quick nod at her classmates, Lily set off at a run, the rest right behind her, wands at the ready. As they hurled down a second flight a stair they heard screams and laughter that made the hairs on the back of Lily's neck stand up. She sped up. Something very bad was going to happen she could just feel it. She had to hurry, she had to stop it. As they hurled down another flight of stairs, someone yelled, "Evans stop!"

She skidded to a halt and looked up, "What?" she said impatiently.

"There are Death Eaters on this floor!" Lily whirled around to see three figures in black running toward them. She made a quick decision.

"The rest of you stay here and deal with them, I'll go and see what going on below."

As she turned to go she caught a worried look on their faces.

"Just take care of them! I have to-" she looked to Remus and Sirius, "I have to go. Be careful."

But even she wasn't sure about that. The feeling was filling her body like a poison, a horrible feeling that she had never felt before. She sprinted down the next two flights and found herself in the Main Hall. Following her intuition, she crashed threw the doors that led to the Great Hall. She quickly scanned the area, taking in approximately twenty bodies strewn across the floor. There was a group of fifth years who had been taking their O.W.L.s huddled in a corner, and a tall figure with red eyes in the middle of it all. There was only one person it could be.

"Voldemort," Lily said calmly, drawing both wands, "I'm going to kill you."

**A/N: Ah, cliffhangers, I love you. Anyway, next chapter is going to be the last one! Aren't you excited? If you didn't read my other version, there is going to be a sequel which I might take a break before starting, but don't worry! I just need to get my bearings on it! So, please review and thank my awesome beta! **


	16. Unforeseen Pinnacle

Chapter Sixteen-

He turned around and stared at her with his cruel red eyes.

"Interesting," he said, "You must be Lily Evans."

He was thin and tall and had a strange sickly pallor. His protuberant snakelike eyes disgusted Lily more than frightened her. She could tell just by looking at him that he was no longer human.

Lily narrowed her eyes, _"Dammit, Legilimency! I need to strengthen my Occlumency barriers." _

"Oh, so you know Occlumency? Very interesting."

Lily concentrated on thinking nothing.

"You're not going to say anything, are you? How boring. If you're not going to entertain me, then goodbye. _Avada Kedavra!" _

_"What?! Already?" _

Lily dodged the curse easily and threw back a few of her own.

_"Reducto!"_

_"Flargo!"_

_"Avada Kedavra!"_

"_Impedimenta!" _

Three of the curses bounced off Voldemort's shield and he dodged the bright green one.

_"What!! He actually moved out of the way! He could have just conjured something between him and the curse. Is he just playing with me or have I overestimated him?"_

"My, my, Dark Magic as well. You would be a powerful asset. I'll make you a little deal," he said, his pale white skin gleaming in the candle light, "I won't kill you if you swear loyalty to me and my Death Eaters."

Lily stared, _"Is he actually trying to recruit me? Does he know how many Death Eaters I've killed? Or is he just stupid?" _

Lily eyed the group of still alive Fifth years apprehensively. If she was smart, she could buy time with this and they could maybe get away. She was unsure of how her and Voldemort's powers compared, even after their little skirmish, and knew she should use every second she got.

"What do you mean?" she asked, narrowing her eyes.

She didn't lower her wand.

"Despite being a _Mudblood_," the Dark Lord said silkily, "Your powers are highly developed. You also seem to have an affinity for Dark Magic."

"Wouldn't being a Mudblood," Lily asked sarcastically to hide her confusion, "Cancel out all these _remarkable_ talents?"

Voldemort threw back his head and let out a high laugh. Lily took this opportunity to mouth 'Get away' to the fifth years huddled against the wall.

"You will find, Lily Evans," he said maliciously, "that not all things are as they seem."

For a moment, Lily forgot all about the Fifth years and the battle going on in the rest of the castle. She stared with unabated confusion into Voldemort's eyes. Did he mean what she thought he meant? But before she could ask there was a crash and Voldemort spun around to see the Fifth years that had been trying to escape by sneaking behind him.

His face transformed into a malicious snarl, and before Lily cold stop him-

_"Crucio!" _

A blonde girl fell to the ground, screaming and writhing on the floor. Rage filled Lily and she threw a Killing Curse at him, which he was forced to dodge. The girl's classmates helped her up and Lily threw a Stunner at Voldemort, forcing him backwards once more, so she could stand in-between the other students and him, with the door to her back.

"Go!" she hissed and they fled. Voldemort's eyes followed them out, but made no effort to stop them."

"I would never," Lily snarled, "join you and your band of murderers," she tightened her grip on her wands, "I'm going to destroy you and you're little minions."

Voldemort narrowed his eyes, "Hmm. Alright then, I suppose I'll have to kill you," he said flippantly.

"Bring it on."

Voldemort shot a bright green curse at her which she dodged with ease. Firing a Cutting Hex at him she conjured a large metal shield, which caused the next Killing Curse to bounce harmlessly away. Ducking behind a table, she wandlessly sent the table directly behind Voldemort crashing to pieces. His eyes widened as he spun around to see the cause of the commotion. Quickly, Lily levitated the table she had been hiding behind and hurled it at Voldemort's unprotected back. He had turned halfway toward her, when the table hit; launching him across the room and into the wall. But when the table fell to the floor, he was not there.

_"Bugger!" _she whirled around to see Voldemort, who was sporting a huge cut on the back of his head, directly in front of her.

"Too late, Evans," he raised his wand, _"Crucio!"_

_"Shi-"_

Lily fell to the floor shaking, her teeth wedged deeply into her lip.

_"I will not scream. I will not scream. I will NOT scream! Show no emotion. Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you in pain. Stop shaking, for Merlin's sake, stop it!" _Blood trickled down her lip, _"Breathe, breathe, I can get through this it won't last forever." _

After what seemed like forever it stopped. She fell unwillingly on her stomach, still shaking violently.

"How brave of you not to scream even while under the Cruciatus Curse," said Voldemort, his voice practically dripping with sarcasm, "It is very pointless, though. Not screaming won't help in the least."

Lily raised her head slightly, "Heh, I'm n-not giving y-you the honor of hear m-me s-s-scream," she said, cursing her voice for trembling.

She moved to lift herself from the ground, but Voldemort stepped on her wrist. She bit her lip again and blood dripped from her mouth to the floor.

"I will never be able to understand you Gryffindors," he said, his foot pressing harder into her wrist, "You are a Gryffindor, aren't you?"

"A-and proud of it," said Lily gritting her teeth. Suddenly she went limp and collapsed in her own blood.

"How pathetic," Voldemort said, he lifted his foot off her wrist and moved towards the door. Lily grinned. She jumped to her feet grabbing her wand as she went.

_"AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

Voldemort dodged to the side and the curse burned a hole in a Slytherin banner.

"It's you who is pathetic," Lily grinned widely, "To fall for such a simple trick, and here I was thinking that I might actually have found a worthy opponent to fight."

Voldemort did not seem perturbed in the least by this last comment, in fact he seemed rather amused.

"Playing dead, Evans? How…how…Slytherin of you. Well, then again, normal

Gryffindors aren't killers either, are they?"

Lily dug her nails into her palms, "Sod you!" she snarled, struggling to contain her anger at being called a murderer by Voldemort himself.

"And from what I heard from your sister, it seems like you killed your parents too. Not very Gryffindor-like in the least. "

Lily began to shake uncontrollably, "W-wha-what did you do to my sister?"

Voldemort smiled evilly, "Would you really like to know? Let me show you."

When Lily lost her composure she also lost her Occlumency shield, and memories that were not her own burst in to her mind.

_"She murdered them, the little freak!" Petunia snarled, hair covered in blood, her husband unconscious beside her, broken china and glass covering the carpet, "She was always a weirdo, making things fly, driving my parents crazy! She hated them; so did I, but I wasn't the one who murdered them! She did something to their car, made it not work the right way, I know she did!"_

_"Interesting," Voldemort said, "Goodbye, Petunia."_

_"What!" Petunia's eye's widened and she pushed herself against the wall, "No, please! You promised-"_

_"Obliviate!"_

_Petunia's eyes slid out of focus and she slumped onto the floor of her ruined home. Voldemort Disapparated and-_

Lily straightened up.

"So, she's not dead then," she said without emotion.

For the first time Voldemort looked slightly unnerved. Lily strengthened her Occlumency shield and readied herself for action.

"That's good," she said smiling coldly, "Because she's mine."

James' P.O.V.

James backed up against the wall, breathing heavily. It had taken the combined force of the entire Divination class and him to take down five Death Eaters. _"No wonder the Wizarding World is in trouble," _he thought, _"With Death Eaters like that…"_

"Prongs?"

James looked up to see Peter looking worriedly at him.

"Yeah?"

"We'd better go, mate. Something big is going on downstairs."

James had gotten into his and Sirius' rooms without event and had picked up the Marauder's Map and the Cloak safely. He had ran up to the North Tower in a panic, only to find Peter and the rest of his class not only safe, but also completely unaware of the dire situation they were in. James had taken charge almost immediately, for old Professor Odgen had fainted the second he had heard that there were Death Eaters in the castle. He and Peter had waited for Sirius as long as they could, but after ten minutes, James grew restless. After fifteen, he decided they could wait no longer, and with many complaints from the students who had been taking their Divination N.E.W.T., they set off.

James looked at the map and saw two figures entitled Lily Evans and Tom Riddle standing in the middle of the Great Hall, as well as a bunch of people he didn't know, om the sidelines. Tom Riddle? Who was that? Well, if Lily was there then they had better join her.

"Right. Let's go everyone," he called, "We have to keep going."

The tired seventh years picked themselves up and they started down the stairs. Just as they were about to clear the second flight. They heard a huge crash and a multitude of voices. James ran down the last flight of steps. In the Entrance Hall stood Dumbledore, his parents, and a few people that James had only heard of in the newspaper. A few of them were tending to a bunch of injured students, Fifth years by the looks of it.

"James!" his mother tackled him in a hug, "Thank Merlin, you're alright!"

"Mum, I'm fine!" he said exhaustedly, "What are you doing-"

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore stepped forward, a furious look on his face that James had never seen before, " We'll take it from here."

He turned to the rest of the people behind his back, after whispering a few words to them they split up and ran in different directions, a few levitating the injured. James was about to say something when the doors to the Entrance Hall flew open and approximately fifty Aurors rushed inside.

"Dumbledore," one of them cried, "What in Merlin's name is going on?"

"There has been a full-scale Death Eater attack," said Dumbledore, a little more pale than he usually was.

"But how co-" but he was cut off by another huge explosion coming from the Great Hall. James felt his blood run cold.

_"Shit! Lily's in there!"_

He went for the door but Dumbledore got there first. The doors crashed open to reveal the Great Hall, or what was the Great Hall. Parts of tables were strewn around the room and some were on fire. Most of the candles had been blasted out of the air and were in pieces on the floor. In the middle of the wreckage stood two figures.

"Dumbledore," said Voldemort, "How nice of you to join us. Unfortunately, I do not have enough time to deal with you. Some other time perhaps."

He snapped his fingers and suddenly the room was filled with Death Eaters. James inhaled sharply.

"Kill them," said Voldemort shortly, "And don't interfere with my fight."

This gave a James a start, he had been so preoccupied with the appearance of Voldemort he hadn't looked closely at the other figure. Lily was breathing heavily and the back of her robes was soaked with blood. But her eyes were as determined as ever.

"Heh, don't I feel honored," she had a strange look on her face that was almost bloodthirsty, "But I digress, let's finish this."

And the fight began.

The air was suddenly filled with curses and spells. James stunned two and was about to go for a third when he heard screams, a middle aged woman was writhing on the floor. Suddenly James couldn't think straight, he rushed toward the Death Eater and at pointblank range he fired the spell, _"REDUCTO!" _

And quite suddenly the Death Eater was in pieces and he was covered in his blood. He stared down at the corpse.

"_Did I just kill-What did I…why…I…I didn't mean to, I only wanted…I-"_

Suddenly he thought of Lily and her voice echoed in his head.

"_**But why? Why should I decide? What right do I have to choose who lives or dies? You don't know the answer, do you?"**_

And then he heard his own voice answering her.

"_**Does anyone? Lily, anyone who kills in cold blood like they do forfeits the right to live themselves. It doesn't really matter that you killed them. It matters that you saved me, you saved Sirius and Remus and Peter, and you saved half of Hogwarts. If I were in your shoes I would have done the same thing."**_

"_I would do the same thing? I would?" _he wondered, _"Why was it so easy to say that? How naïve I was! To think that! But I-"_

"…_**It doesn't really matter that you killed them…"**_

"_It doesn't?"_

"…_**It matters that you saved …, you saved …, and you saved…"**_

"_Really?"_

"_**If I were in your shoes I would have done the same thing."**_

"_I am in your shoes, Lily. And I am going to do the same thing."_

He remembered other things. Like smiling with Peter and Sirius and Remus, like eating his mother's home cooking, fancying Lily, the freedom of being an Animagi. He remembered picking out his wand for the first time, meeting Sirius and Remus. Saving Peter from the Slytherin third years that first time on the train. He suddenly realized how wonderful life was, and how Lily felt whenever she took a life.

" _Alright, I understand, Lily, I really do." _

All he knew was that he had to keep fighting, if not for himself, if not for his family, if not for his friends, then for Li-

A high laugh disrupted his thoughts. He whirled around to see a green curse in slow motion traveling toward Lily.

_"What-"_

Lily's P.O.V.

She couldn't dodge. Her legs wouldn't move. She was so tired and for some reason…

Everything was frozen except the green light moving closer and closer towards her. It was surreal, she had seen so much, fought so many, been close to death so many times, but for some reason this green light coming towards her scared her the most.

Why; she had been stabbed so close to the heart, through the stomach, had her head bashed into walls so many times it was a wonder she didn't have brain damage-

_-or maybe she did-_

-had her jaw, broken, and had her back cut to pieces. So why? Why did this scare her so much? Was she really that afraid of Death? Was she really no better than Voldemort and his Death Eater and every other wizard or witch that had coveted immortality?

_"Is this it? Will I just die like this? But no… I can't die. I have too much unfinished work. I can't, I have to at least say thank you.! They need me. For first time in my life someone needs me and wants me. I can't leave now! I don't want to die now, it would be too sad, too horrible, to leave when I'm finally happy. Why is this happening? I have to say thank you. Even when I didn't deserve it…I was wanted. Someone cares about me! I don't want to leave, I don't want to make them sad. Please give me another chance. I'll do better this time. I promise! I need to say thank you, so please don't let me die!"_

_She was alone suddenly, in Muggle London it seemed. She was in a worn-down park, the playground equipment graffiti-ed, the swings twisted. Cigarettes smoldered on the concrete and there were broken beer bottles at the end of each slide. This had been her life. She had been thrown away like a cigarette butt and left in this urban hell to survive. And survive she had. She had spent about twelve years as a street kid, had never had a friend since those two months of first grade before her parents died. Lily moved and sat down on the only bench that didn't have gum all over it. She must be dead, she thought. And this was her hell._

_Suddenly she saw James. He was walking slowly across the woodchips towards her. He was smiling._

_She stared at him. What was he doing here? Had he died as well? And if so, why was he in her hell?_

_He came to stand right in front of her, still smiling. _

_How can he smile like that, Lily wondered. _

_"Lily," he said. _

_Just Lily; just her name. He reached out his hand and …she took it._

_He pulled her off the bench and they were very close all of the sudden. Lily wondered if she had ever been so close to someone._

_"C'mon," he said, "Let's go."_

_And Lily couldn't stand it. She leaned in and kisse- _

The beam of light hit her forehead. Then, with the same force, it bounced off and hit its caster. There was a huge explosion. The entire back wall burst into flame and imploded. There was a horrible high-pitched scream and then complete silence.

And Lily Evans fell to the ground; a deep cut in the shape of a lightning bolt etched upon her forehead.

-End-

**A/N: Okay, Lily is NOT dead, just so you know. There is going to be a sequel, which will finish up the story and will probably be longer than this one. **

**Many thanks to: flower123, Diddly, JoeJonasWillBeMine, craziigirl, hawaiiangirl258, Blair.The.Adorable, Messrs. Padfoot and Prongs, SiriusLuver16, ebtwisty9, sweets555, Syn-Fully Sweet, Quiver/gazingdreamer, Violin, Gaialy, Akt5us, the.dead.addict., Eveni, indescribablyBee, -FALLEN FOR ANGEL-, Sakura Perfume, Jewely2951, TearsofBlack101, Rikkamaru, Abala-Fabala, Riley Black, Samhaim Girl, xX-Ashi-Xx, Muse Dae, Sonnish na mara, Becca, rawr, arya, Fairy Eyes, and my awesome beta swtaznhottiechik. (I'm sorry, if I spelled any of your names wrong…)**

**Please review! Coming Soon: The Girl Who Lived!**


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